Friday, April 19, 2019

The Queen Of Slippery Tongues

'As everyone 'knows', I have the slipperiest tongue in all of Washington DC. Sometimes I'm surprised that it doesn't just fly right out of my mouth! Really! At night I have to tie a pencil to it in order to keep from swallowing the darn thing! Slippery, slippery, slippery! I bet I'm not the only person treading water in this vile, stagnant DC swamp, that has a tongue like mine.
Slippery tongues can cause a lot of problems. You know, like being grilled by that disgusting Muller guy. Wow! My knees are still weak from that one! Not to mention my slippery, fluttering tongue!
Butt you know what? That was the first time I've Ever had to tell the 'truth', the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And that's the truth! And boy, did I ever feel better afterwards. Although I did puke for a few days afterwards. After years of telling lies, telling falsehoods, false rumors, spreading phony conspiracy theories, lying to myself, lying for my President, as directed, sleepless nights, marching to my 'leaders' music, it 'almost' felt good to tell the truth for once. Just once though. And as I told Mueller, anything I have 'ever' said that sounded like a 'lie', was simply "a slip of the tongue". And after I explained to him about my very defective 'slippery' tongue problem, he 'told me' that he understands how these things could happen. I promised him that from now on, as far as I could tell, I'll always probably "tell the truth when I can". Really. Honest, I probably will. We'll see. We'll see.'



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cnn.com
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders admitted to federal investigators that she provided reporters baseless information related to former FBI Director James Comey's dismissal, according to special counsel Robert Mueller's redacted report. CNN's Jim Acosta reports.

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