'Who?? Tell me his name again please. Matt..Matt... what's the last name? Whitaker? Whitaker..Whitaker....Matt Whitaker...hmmm...football player? Basketball? Nope, never heard the name before, don't know anyone by that name. Let me be perfectly 'honest' here, "I don't know Matt Whitaker". Who does he work for? Me?? Really? No kidding! Yeah, still don't know him. Never even met the guy. Never even spoken to him at all, ever. Show me the video, show me the audio. You got nothing on me here! Nothing!! I'm innocent until proven guilty, which of course as we all know, I, as your President, your esteemed Commander-In-Chief, can't be charged with a crime, old ones or new ones, let alone be convicted of one. I'm un-touchable. "Fake news"! Disgusting, sorry "enemy of the people" CNN reporters spreading lies about me again! 'Where' did they learn to lie like this!?
Oh, wait a minute here! That name does ring a bell now that you barely mention it. Yeah, he was recommended to me by someone at a party I attended. Great guy, wonderful family man. I'd love to 'love' his wife, if you know what I mean, boy could I "grab" her! But yeah, not sure what he does around here, a lot of people work for me, but I'm sure he'll make a fine Trump-minion and do exactly what I would expect of everyone else that I hire to do my dirty work around here. Or I'll fire his butt so fast his head will spin like some cheap toy top! Ask that loser Sessions about that. But, I expect great things from him. Great, wonderful things. But enough about me. This isn't about 'me', it's about "Making America great Again" after that illegal immigrant Obama screwed it up.
Hey, how about my great victory in the mid-terms! Great turnout for the party! Huge numbers! Almost every American who was allowed to vote, voted for a republican! Gotta get rid of Mueller! What a big fat joke! Making America look bad! Everyone is laughing at him. No respect! Horrible man, un-American! Why can't he be more like Me!? He lies, I don't, I tell the truth all the time, he never does. "Witch hunt"! No proof of anything. Nothing! No video tape of me 'screwing' anyone. No audio tapes, nothing but a bunch of sad, disgusting liars trying to make me look bad. Besides, that's my job to do that, and I'm pretty good at it. OK, that's enough, no more un-comfortable questions or I'll revoke your WH Press credential, hey Jim, are you listening. How's that desk job working out for you. Loser! Now I must be off to Europe to impress someone over there. They love to love me there. But that's just me, me, me.'
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Oh, wait a minute here! That name does ring a bell now that you barely mention it. Yeah, he was recommended to me by someone at a party I attended. Great guy, wonderful family man. I'd love to 'love' his wife, if you know what I mean, boy could I "grab" her! But yeah, not sure what he does around here, a lot of people work for me, but I'm sure he'll make a fine Trump-minion and do exactly what I would expect of everyone else that I hire to do my dirty work around here. Or I'll fire his butt so fast his head will spin like some cheap toy top! Ask that loser Sessions about that. But, I expect great things from him. Great, wonderful things. But enough about me. This isn't about 'me', it's about "Making America great Again" after that illegal immigrant Obama screwed it up.
Hey, how about my great victory in the mid-terms! Great turnout for the party! Huge numbers! Almost every American who was allowed to vote, voted for a republican! Gotta get rid of Mueller! What a big fat joke! Making America look bad! Everyone is laughing at him. No respect! Horrible man, un-American! Why can't he be more like Me!? He lies, I don't, I tell the truth all the time, he never does. "Witch hunt"! No proof of anything. Nothing! No video tape of me 'screwing' anyone. No audio tapes, nothing but a bunch of sad, disgusting liars trying to make me look bad. Besides, that's my job to do that, and I'm pretty good at it. OK, that's enough, no more un-comfortable questions or I'll revoke your WH Press credential, hey Jim, are you listening. How's that desk job working out for you. Loser! Now I must be off to Europe to impress someone over there. They love to love me there. But that's just me, me, me.'
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