'I told them I wanted to go, Im pretty sure I even cried like the little boy I have proven to be, I did, I cried ad cried and cried, I think I even wet my panties a little bit. "When the helicopter couldn’t fly to the first cemetery in France because of almost zero visibility, I suggested driving," "Secret Service said NO, too far from airport & big Paris shutdown." Hey what's a guy to do? And now look, this useless Secret Service that's supposed to protect me from the public, has made me look bad. That's My job! I don't need help with that! Why do I even let them hang around me like horrible lap dogs that they are? I knew I should have kept my 'private' security guards! They always looked after me. Great guys. Tucked me in at night, read great stories about me, to me. Wiped my butt for me. What a great bunch of serfs! They even carried spare diapers for me. And now look what I've got! Man, I wanted to go stand out in that cold rain like you wouldn't believe! Really. Un-believeable! And when I sat in my limo for what seemed like forever, and no one came to drive me to wherever it was I didn't go, I was so sad. So sad. I nearly had a real tear in one of my eyes. I was wishing I knew how to drive a car! I called KellyAnne and she hummed a song in my ear. I like her, she's real nice to me. Stupid Federal Agency anyway! What a money waster! I bet if I cut their funding they'd go away. Who needs'em anyway. Meanies!' 
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