'Friends, heathens, devil worshipers alike, I come to you in peace. My Jesus, my lord and savior, not to mention my 'protector', seeing as how I'm here at his behest, has sent me to your god forsaken, pithy little, devil horned island in the middle of practically nowhere, to bring you the word of the lord, and save your very souls from hell, and damnation. Now, I know that people will say I'm bat crap crazy to illegally trespass on your heathonistic crust of an island, but you know what, I don't give a cats smelly butt about what other people say, because my good lord will look after, and protect me from all evils. Really. He will. I am safe in his arms. Really.
Now, if I may, I'll turn to some very cool, soul saving scripture in my little waterproof bible where I'll be able to show all you sinfully naked, especially your naked women which will take some one on one private sessions, heathens the path to the cross, where you'll be anointed with the blood of....Ouch!..Ouch!..Ouch! Damn, that hurts! Stop shooting me with those pointy little arrows already! I came here to 'save' you, and now you're trying to kill me! Oh dear god, I don't want to die! Sure, I want to go to 'heaven', but holy craps, I don't want to die to do it! Whoa! That's My blood! Ouch! Stop it already! No fair! Now I lay me down to sleeee.....'
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Now, if I may, I'll turn to some very cool, soul saving scripture in my little waterproof bible where I'll be able to show all you sinfully naked, especially your naked women which will take some one on one private sessions, heathens the path to the cross, where you'll be anointed with the blood of....Ouch!..Ouch!..Ouch! Damn, that hurts! Stop shooting me with those pointy little arrows already! I came here to 'save' you, and now you're trying to kill me! Oh dear god, I don't want to die! Sure, I want to go to 'heaven', but holy craps, I don't want to die to do it! Whoa! That's My blood! Ouch! Stop it already! No fair! Now I lay me down to sleeee.....'
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