Thursday, March 9, 2017

'The Good Ship 'DonniePop''

'The Good Ship DonniePop'

'TWEET! TWEEEET! Captn', report to the bridge, there's ice bergs up ahead!!! We must steer a different course, the one we are on will lead us on a collision course with doom, and gloom, and future regret!
Nonsense Helmsman! You were hired to 'watch' for bergs, not give suggestions when you spot one! I'm the Captain of this scow, and there's only three people who can tell me what to do, 'Me, Myself, and I! And we all three agree that we are bigger than any berg, none are big enough to sink my ship, 'The Good Ship DonniePop'.
But Captn', this is a dangerous course we are on! This berg is bigger than this ship, it will surely rip us open, and have us swimmin' with the fishes!
Foolish man! I seldom sink a good ship! Nothing can sink this one, the biggest ship ever built, why, I've removed, and replaced every single part of this ship whether it was broken or not, and as we all 'know' I'm the best business Captain God ever sent to command one!
But Captn', what about the safety and welfare of your passengers? Most can't swim, and few have proper life preservers, and most were left out of your insurance 'policy', and there's lifeboats enough for only the 'Top Brass' of the crew.
Well, they were 'aware' of that when they purchased tickets for this voyage! Did they actually Believe everything I said about this 'cruise'!? TWEET! TWEET! TWEET! Engine room, This is your Captain, stoke the boilers, full steam ahead! Damn the bergs, ramming speed, nothing can sink this unflappable ship!
TWEET! TWEET! Steward, prepare my personal life boat for launching! Full speed ahead!
TWEET! TWEET! Steward, strike up the band, distract the passengers with placating music and tall tales about myself, use my "Alternative Facts" method of telling them the 'truth', that one always works wonders for the jittery. Full steam ahead boys!
TWEET! TWEET! Captn', this is the engine room! The hull has been ripped open from stem to stern!!! Water pouring in, I'm up to my knees in water! What are your orders?
Full speed ahead, I said! Full speed ahead! Don't panic, this is not as bad as it 'could' be. "You ain't seen nothing yet".
TWEET! TWEET! Captn', this is the steward in the dining hall, we are up to our waist, in very cold sea water, and rising, fish everywhere, sharks at our heels, what shall we do? Should I cancel breakfast for now? Soon, the passengers might become slightly concerned, not to mention hungry.
Easy steward, easy now, don't let them see you in panic mode, I just need a few more minutes to 'take care' of a few personal things. Have the band keep up the soothing music. Free drinks on the house! Keep calm, and quietly toss my 'Bug-Out' bag into my Life Yacht.
TWEET! TWEET!!!!!! Captn', this is the engine room! The water is up to my chin and rising, the engines are flooded, the lights are out, what are your instructions? Captn', what shall I do? Captn', are you there...captain..Captian!! :/

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