'Obama Did It'
'I tell you I Saw it with my own eyes! This is Not "Fake News" like you would get with that disgusting CNN. Disgusting People! There I was, sailing by in one of my Mega Yachts when out of the corner of one of my squinty eyes I noticed a commotion on the wharf of Gitmo Bay. I instructed my subservient employee to steer closer so that I could spy more effectively, and lo and behold, What did I spy but that sorry Obama doing 'man hugs' with a bunch, 600 by my own... personal count, of Gitmo's most awful Muslim terrorists. He then loaded them onto his personal yacht, which by the way is Much, much, much, smaller than mine, and you 'know' what they say about a man with a 'small' yacht, you 'know', small yacht, small..well, You 'know'. Suffice it to say that Mine, is much 'bigger' than His little one. Then, I followed him and his band of 'brothers' to News Jersey where thousands of criminal terrorists muslims were standing on rooftops flying muslim terrorists flags, cheering, and clapping, and yelling 'Praise be Allah our beloved Inman Obama'. Disgusting sight! I turned to my good friend New Jersey Governor Christie, and saw humiliating tears just popping out of his chubby little eyes. Sad. Terrible! Then, traitor Obama gave each of his terrorist Gitmo pals Full parden, and official US Citizenship to boot! Right there in front of God, Country, and Me. What's With that? I wish I hadn't seen it with My eyes! Haven't slept well since then. Can't. Thank goodness for my own special Twitter whacking machine! Keeps me out of trouble in the wee hours of the morn when I'm most likely to go whacking. Gonna order a special congressional investigation! Not the 'regular' kind, but the 'Special Trump Induced' Republican fueled kind. I wish he was still President so we could have him impeached! You're Fired, you illegal immigrant, you! Then, he gave all of them a new house, new cars, and new names so no one would suspect they are terrorists. Since then every single one of'em have returned to doing "bad hombre" acts, mostely in Chicago. Terrible thing! Vicious, Terrible, just terrible, almost melts my make-up. Almost. A day that has lived in my receding mind ever since!
Now, I hear from 'reliable' sources who will remain unnamed for now, but I will reveal more next week, or maybe the one after that, that Obama is still running our government from 'underground'. I thought I 'kicked' him out of here! Seems there's some sort of 'war room' a half mile deep beneath the White House where he's holed up pulling political strings like some grand puppeteer. That's My job! How dare he 'pull my strings' without my consent!! So, He's the person making me do those God awful Tweets at night! His fault! Disgusting! Leave me alone! Stop it already! Go away! Get out of my paronoid mind..you...you, string puller you!'
;)
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'I tell you I Saw it with my own eyes! This is Not "Fake News" like you would get with that disgusting CNN. Disgusting People! There I was, sailing by in one of my Mega Yachts when out of the corner of one of my squinty eyes I noticed a commotion on the wharf of Gitmo Bay. I instructed my subservient employee to steer closer so that I could spy more effectively, and lo and behold, What did I spy but that sorry Obama doing 'man hugs' with a bunch, 600 by my own... personal count, of Gitmo's most awful Muslim terrorists. He then loaded them onto his personal yacht, which by the way is Much, much, much, smaller than mine, and you 'know' what they say about a man with a 'small' yacht, you 'know', small yacht, small..well, You 'know'. Suffice it to say that Mine, is much 'bigger' than His little one. Then, I followed him and his band of 'brothers' to News Jersey where thousands of criminal terrorists muslims were standing on rooftops flying muslim terrorists flags, cheering, and clapping, and yelling 'Praise be Allah our beloved Inman Obama'. Disgusting sight! I turned to my good friend New Jersey Governor Christie, and saw humiliating tears just popping out of his chubby little eyes. Sad. Terrible! Then, traitor Obama gave each of his terrorist Gitmo pals Full parden, and official US Citizenship to boot! Right there in front of God, Country, and Me. What's With that? I wish I hadn't seen it with My eyes! Haven't slept well since then. Can't. Thank goodness for my own special Twitter whacking machine! Keeps me out of trouble in the wee hours of the morn when I'm most likely to go whacking. Gonna order a special congressional investigation! Not the 'regular' kind, but the 'Special Trump Induced' Republican fueled kind. I wish he was still President so we could have him impeached! You're Fired, you illegal immigrant, you! Then, he gave all of them a new house, new cars, and new names so no one would suspect they are terrorists. Since then every single one of'em have returned to doing "bad hombre" acts, mostely in Chicago. Terrible thing! Vicious, Terrible, just terrible, almost melts my make-up. Almost. A day that has lived in my receding mind ever since!
Now, I hear from 'reliable' sources who will remain unnamed for now, but I will reveal more next week, or maybe the one after that, that Obama is still running our government from 'underground'. I thought I 'kicked' him out of here! Seems there's some sort of 'war room' a half mile deep beneath the White House where he's holed up pulling political strings like some grand puppeteer. That's My job! How dare he 'pull my strings' without my consent!! So, He's the person making me do those God awful Tweets at night! His fault! Disgusting! Leave me alone! Stop it already! Go away! Get out of my paronoid mind..you...you, string puller you!'
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