BREAKING 'NEWS', BREAKING 'NEWS'!
This just in, Hot off the 'Press'!
Brought to you by the only 'news' source you can nearly trust, 'BBSN'(BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews).
Our ever diligent, always on the 'job', with Border Collie like nose to the ground, 'news reporter' Buddy Black has been on this story since day one, and has incredibly, unbelievable, astounding, and hardly verifiable 'news' that will blow this story right out of the cess pool of life. But we get ahead of ourselves here. Let's let BuddyBlack(BB) tell it as only he can, Shhhh....here he is now.
Greetings, readers of the 'truth' as we know it. As you know, I've been 'investigating' this sordid case of money in, money out for moments on end, and have discovered, by digging even deeper than necessary, what may be more 'news' than the average 'newshound' is able to digest in one sitting. Luckily, a real 'newshound' has evolved to have more than one stomach with which to properly, and not a little safely, digest Any 'news' which spews forth from the Trump White House, specifically, the bearer of all that is "fake news", Trump himself. Incredible as it may seem, I, in my own wily ways, was able to trick President Trump(PT) into a one on one interview in his personal 'bug-out' cave at Mar A Lago, in that not a little pretentious, Glitter Town, Palm Beach. But I needlessly delay. Let's move on to the story.
BB: Hi There President Trump! May I just call you Donald?
PT: No you may not! This is My 'cave', my rules. That's why I'm President and you're not.
BB: Ok, how about just Don, or even Donnie, Donald is just...so Formal.
PT: Still No. I'm the President, that's what you'll call me.
BB: President, you have said, and it's on Real video and audio by the way, that you 'negotiated' with the maker of the F-35 to lower the cost because it costs just too much to build as it stands right now.
PT: Yes, true. Very true. Big numbers, and I'm not just talking about how I won, and She lost.
BB: There's word from Russia that they have offered to build the F-35, and even our new Aircraft Carriers for up to one half the cost now projected by American builders. And, it seems they are willing to throw in a spiffy brand new made in Russia, never used, right out of the box, Anti-Hacking program for the Pentagon, all members of our government, including the White House, but wait, there's more, if you order Now, they'll double the order and we pay just for cost of shipping. How do you respond to that unbelievable offer?
PT: Yes, That's 'true' as anything you've ever heard from Me, Or Russia. As I said after the G-20 meet with my BFF-FWB Vlad, "we must go forward with Russia". I have determined beyond a reasonable doubt that my pal Vlad is a truth teller. Big time. Great guy. Love'em. Promised with a needle in my eye, that he didn't hack our voting system. Gotta believe the guy. Honest guy. Hot looking wife by the way! Could be a model on my show.
BB: So, it's 'true' that they'll build America's new Top Secret F-35?
PT: Look, a promise is a promise. We'll get two for the price of one! Now that's a deal! Am I a great negotiator or what!? I mean, just look at 'Me'!! By the way, this will open up a spot for one of my flashy golf clubs in Moscow. Nice deal. Great negotiator.
BB: But, President, doesn't that mean giving up all the Top Secret info about our war machine.
PT: Don't worry, the instructions are in English, they all speak Russian over there. Vlad promised they'd just read it in Russian, and they won't peek at the secret stuff that's in English. They have been pretty 'trustworthy' in the past. Nice guy, my hands are bigger than his. I think He's afraid of me. Look, I gotta go now, it's nearly my 'Tweet' time, must show my 'leadership' skills to my hundreds of minions.
BB: Right, President, good luck with that thought. Thanks for the eye opener, it's always 'refreshing' to see the real you.
And so once again our intrepid 'reporter' BuddyBlack tempts fate and goes dumpster diving in Palm Beach, digging out the 'news' that a news starving public deserves. Tune in again, no particular schedule, when BBSN will bring you the latest 'news' that's barely fit to print, and barely fit to read.
This just in, Hot off the 'Press'!
Brought to you by the only 'news' source you can nearly trust, 'BBSN'(BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews).
Our ever diligent, always on the 'job', with Border Collie like nose to the ground, 'news reporter' Buddy Black has been on this story since day one, and has incredibly, unbelievable, astounding, and hardly verifiable 'news' that will blow this story right out of the cess pool of life. But we get ahead of ourselves here. Let's let BuddyBlack(BB) tell it as only he can, Shhhh....here he is now.
Greetings, readers of the 'truth' as we know it. As you know, I've been 'investigating' this sordid case of money in, money out for moments on end, and have discovered, by digging even deeper than necessary, what may be more 'news' than the average 'newshound' is able to digest in one sitting. Luckily, a real 'newshound' has evolved to have more than one stomach with which to properly, and not a little safely, digest Any 'news' which spews forth from the Trump White House, specifically, the bearer of all that is "fake news", Trump himself. Incredible as it may seem, I, in my own wily ways, was able to trick President Trump(PT) into a one on one interview in his personal 'bug-out' cave at Mar A Lago, in that not a little pretentious, Glitter Town, Palm Beach. But I needlessly delay. Let's move on to the story.
BB: Hi There President Trump! May I just call you Donald?
PT: No you may not! This is My 'cave', my rules. That's why I'm President and you're not.
BB: Ok, how about just Don, or even Donnie, Donald is just...so Formal.
PT: Still No. I'm the President, that's what you'll call me.
BB: President, you have said, and it's on Real video and audio by the way, that you 'negotiated' with the maker of the F-35 to lower the cost because it costs just too much to build as it stands right now.
PT: Yes, true. Very true. Big numbers, and I'm not just talking about how I won, and She lost.
BB: There's word from Russia that they have offered to build the F-35, and even our new Aircraft Carriers for up to one half the cost now projected by American builders. And, it seems they are willing to throw in a spiffy brand new made in Russia, never used, right out of the box, Anti-Hacking program for the Pentagon, all members of our government, including the White House, but wait, there's more, if you order Now, they'll double the order and we pay just for cost of shipping. How do you respond to that unbelievable offer?
PT: Yes, That's 'true' as anything you've ever heard from Me, Or Russia. As I said after the G-20 meet with my BFF-FWB Vlad, "we must go forward with Russia". I have determined beyond a reasonable doubt that my pal Vlad is a truth teller. Big time. Great guy. Love'em. Promised with a needle in my eye, that he didn't hack our voting system. Gotta believe the guy. Honest guy. Hot looking wife by the way! Could be a model on my show.
BB: So, it's 'true' that they'll build America's new Top Secret F-35?
PT: Look, a promise is a promise. We'll get two for the price of one! Now that's a deal! Am I a great negotiator or what!? I mean, just look at 'Me'!! By the way, this will open up a spot for one of my flashy golf clubs in Moscow. Nice deal. Great negotiator.
BB: But, President, doesn't that mean giving up all the Top Secret info about our war machine.
PT: Don't worry, the instructions are in English, they all speak Russian over there. Vlad promised they'd just read it in Russian, and they won't peek at the secret stuff that's in English. They have been pretty 'trustworthy' in the past. Nice guy, my hands are bigger than his. I think He's afraid of me. Look, I gotta go now, it's nearly my 'Tweet' time, must show my 'leadership' skills to my hundreds of minions.
BB: Right, President, good luck with that thought. Thanks for the eye opener, it's always 'refreshing' to see the real you.
And so once again our intrepid 'reporter' BuddyBlack tempts fate and goes dumpster diving in Palm Beach, digging out the 'news' that a news starving public deserves. Tune in again, no particular schedule, when BBSN will bring you the latest 'news' that's barely fit to print, and barely fit to read.
No comments:
Post a Comment