Buddy's Satirical Ramblings: Stop Her! Stop That Sacrilegious Woman!

'Stop her! Stop that sacrilegious female Woman! OMG! Someone throw a suit coat over her! Quickly before she contaminates the whole damn room! How dare a female human come in here showing skin! Here, in our scared House of Representatives, the most holy institution, well, next to the Vatican anyway, in this whole Jesus loving, Christian, God fearing land! What in the world was she thinking!? Or Was she even thinking in the first place. And if she 'was' thinking', who gave her permission in the first place? How do they make a dress without sleeves!? There will be No 'skin' shows in these hallowed halls of Godliness, not on My watch! Men make the rules here, sure they may not be 'written' rules, but you better believe that the rules exist anyway. My Godly head is crammed full of 'control women rules'! Why do we even let Women in here in the first place? We gotta work on that one! And another thing, from now on there will be a 'shoe' inspection at the door. Women who stupidly show up wearing 'open toed' shoes will be banned from entering our 'man cave'. For Christ's sake, why do they want us to be subjected to the their toes!?? I don't care if they bring their toes 'with' them, but somewhere in the Bible, toes are forbidden to be flaunted in public, and they are not going to flaunt them in here! Not now, not ever! The next thing we gotta work on is their 'hair'! Why do we have to see their hair? Why? In some countries women are required to cover their hair in public places. And in case they haven't noticed, this is a public, well, sorta, place. And I have noticed with my very critical 'fashion' eye that some females are wearing their dresses a bit short where if you look closely enough as I like to do, in my capacity as 'Chief of The Modesty Police' of course, you can actually see their knees! What's with that!? Another thing, 'make-up'. The Bible says, somewhere in there, that Women shall not paint their faces! That's good enough for Me! Oh, and how about those nearly 'see through' blouses some of these women are wearing now days. If you stare closely enough, as I, the 'modesty police', the protector of public decency must do, scientifically speaking of course, you can actually see their nipples! Temptresses!! Trying to entice, and agitate our leering minds! Now, I love a good firm nipple, speaking of my spouse's of course, as much as any man, married in the name of God of course, does, but we should not be subjected to Tit-tillation here in the house of Gods government while we are doing serious work looking out for America and our eligible minion voters out there. These seductresses should be required to wear a 'cloak' of some sort that covers their sexually enticing female forms! Something that would also cover their hair and those, painted in vain, faces. I remember reading about some very religious countries like ours where women are required to wear some sort of 'covering' that does that very thing. If it works there, it 'should' work here as well. Must put that on my 'to do' list. Boy! It's tough being the boss around here, but as we all 'know', it's a 'mans world', and a man's gotta do, what a mans gotta do, and part of that is controlling women. You see, women aren't able to control themselves. That's why God made men, and then he took a little piece of our 'rib' and made these women with it, you remember that little Bible 'story'. We are their 'adult' supervision. It works at home, and it will work in our 'good ol' boy' man cave. You can be sure that from now on I'll have my leering, roving, fashion eye 'searching' every woman who dares enter our 'Mans World'. Bare arms, nipples, and toes will not pass my 'work' gate! Grrrr!' :/