'NEWS' ALERT! 'NEWS' ALERT!
Trump 'Reveals' Secret PARDON Plan!
This hot and steamy 'News' alert is brought to you by your ever ready, global 'News' station 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews) where if you didn't hear it here, it just hasn't happened yet.
And now, we turn you over to our hot on the spot 'newsboy' BuddyBlack (BB) who again by some twist of magic has been able to finagle a person to person 'interview' with President Trump (PT), the master of surprises extraordinaire, about a 'news' tip Buddy had received from a 'source' known only as 'Jim'. Let's go there now as Buddy once again tempts fate by dumpster diving into the abyss, also known, as Washington, D.C.
BB: Ah, Mr. President, thanks in advance for allowing me to dive your dumpster. Seems like it was only yesterday that we chatted together.
PT: I'm not sure, but I guess you're welcome. What's on your sleuthy mind today?
BB: I'll get right to it your majesty. A confidential 'source', whom I'll identify only as 'Jim', tells me that you may be considering a Presidential Pardon for all of your minions invloved in the ongoing 'TrumpGate' affair. Can you actually Do that? Can you tell the American public about your intentions?
PT: What!!!?? How'd you know that...I mean, who told you that..., that is, why would I do such a thing as that..., what I mean is, "fake news"! Is that the same 'Jim' that I know!? Why in the world would I do such a thing? But of Course, I 'could' do that, if I wanted to. After all, I'm the President and I can do anything I wish. Anything! I'm actually above the law, the Ethics Law does not pertain to me as President, and the President can do no wrong. Remember that time I said, "I Could Stand In the Middle Of Fifth Avenue And Shoot Somebody And I Wouldn't Lose Any Voters"? Well, that's how much power I have. I have more power than Jesus Christ himself. Jesus! In fact, he sent me here to save America from itself.
BB: But, wouldn't you be afraid that you'd loose credibility among the American public if you pardoned everyone, and wouldn't it make you look like you're guilty, and trying to hide something?
PT: Nobody cares Buddy! Nobody cares!! Where have you been!? I don't need the American public! All I need is enough ignorant Republican voters behind me. It's easier to get 'forgiveness', than to get 'permission', that's why I could do it, and not one soul that matters would even blink. Wake up Buddy, this is like a real 'reality' show! I'm the writer, producer, chorographer, and the star 'actor'. Me, me, me! The show's all about ME! But why would I want to pardon them in the first place?
BB: Well, for one thing, if you issued a 'pardon' to everyone involved, then you wouldn't have to worry about any more 'secrets' being divulged that could get you in more trouble than you're already in. Your butt's nearly in the frying pan as it is. Just think, no more subpoena's to worry about, no one giving you up.
PT: No, not My butt! Perhaps the butts of my foolish son, son-in-law, and those other fools, but not mine. And besides, they'll still have their jobs here, just like that. That's how easy it would be. You see, that's why I'm President, and they're not. I control the 'fire', they take the heat. I'll be here for the duration of my term because I'm made of Presidential teflon, and for four years after that, unless my daughter wants to be President, or my VP, which could happen, I don't know, just sayin'. But she is Presidential material, a chip right off the ol' block.
Now I must go Buddy, thanks for the great 'press', gotta get busy making "America great again", thanks for the great idea though. Keep up the good work Buddy, you should write a blog or something, you're my favorite 'non-fake 'news' reporter. I can always trust you to tell it like I see it.
And so once again, our intrepid 'reporter' dives to depths where others fear to even swim. Ferrating out the 'news' from sources that other 'reporters' shy away from, our 'reporter' gets the scoop by the shovels full as he scours the bottom of the White House dumpster where the real 'politicians' feed.
Be sure to tune in again, and who knows when for sure, when your 'reliable' news station, 'BBSN' will surely bring more 'Breaking News' right to your hungry eyeballs.
Trump 'Reveals' Secret PARDON Plan!
This hot and steamy 'News' alert is brought to you by your ever ready, global 'News' station 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews) where if you didn't hear it here, it just hasn't happened yet.
And now, we turn you over to our hot on the spot 'newsboy' BuddyBlack (BB) who again by some twist of magic has been able to finagle a person to person 'interview' with President Trump (PT), the master of surprises extraordinaire, about a 'news' tip Buddy had received from a 'source' known only as 'Jim'. Let's go there now as Buddy once again tempts fate by dumpster diving into the abyss, also known, as Washington, D.C.
BB: Ah, Mr. President, thanks in advance for allowing me to dive your dumpster. Seems like it was only yesterday that we chatted together.
PT: I'm not sure, but I guess you're welcome. What's on your sleuthy mind today?
BB: I'll get right to it your majesty. A confidential 'source', whom I'll identify only as 'Jim', tells me that you may be considering a Presidential Pardon for all of your minions invloved in the ongoing 'TrumpGate' affair. Can you actually Do that? Can you tell the American public about your intentions?
PT: What!!!?? How'd you know that...I mean, who told you that..., that is, why would I do such a thing as that..., what I mean is, "fake news"! Is that the same 'Jim' that I know!? Why in the world would I do such a thing? But of Course, I 'could' do that, if I wanted to. After all, I'm the President and I can do anything I wish. Anything! I'm actually above the law, the Ethics Law does not pertain to me as President, and the President can do no wrong. Remember that time I said, "I Could Stand In the Middle Of Fifth Avenue And Shoot Somebody And I Wouldn't Lose Any Voters"? Well, that's how much power I have. I have more power than Jesus Christ himself. Jesus! In fact, he sent me here to save America from itself.
BB: But, wouldn't you be afraid that you'd loose credibility among the American public if you pardoned everyone, and wouldn't it make you look like you're guilty, and trying to hide something?
PT: Nobody cares Buddy! Nobody cares!! Where have you been!? I don't need the American public! All I need is enough ignorant Republican voters behind me. It's easier to get 'forgiveness', than to get 'permission', that's why I could do it, and not one soul that matters would even blink. Wake up Buddy, this is like a real 'reality' show! I'm the writer, producer, chorographer, and the star 'actor'. Me, me, me! The show's all about ME! But why would I want to pardon them in the first place?
BB: Well, for one thing, if you issued a 'pardon' to everyone involved, then you wouldn't have to worry about any more 'secrets' being divulged that could get you in more trouble than you're already in. Your butt's nearly in the frying pan as it is. Just think, no more subpoena's to worry about, no one giving you up.
PT: No, not My butt! Perhaps the butts of my foolish son, son-in-law, and those other fools, but not mine. And besides, they'll still have their jobs here, just like that. That's how easy it would be. You see, that's why I'm President, and they're not. I control the 'fire', they take the heat. I'll be here for the duration of my term because I'm made of Presidential teflon, and for four years after that, unless my daughter wants to be President, or my VP, which could happen, I don't know, just sayin'. But she is Presidential material, a chip right off the ol' block.
Now I must go Buddy, thanks for the great 'press', gotta get busy making "America great again", thanks for the great idea though. Keep up the good work Buddy, you should write a blog or something, you're my favorite 'non-fake 'news' reporter. I can always trust you to tell it like I see it.
And so once again, our intrepid 'reporter' dives to depths where others fear to even swim. Ferrating out the 'news' from sources that other 'reporters' shy away from, our 'reporter' gets the scoop by the shovels full as he scours the bottom of the White House dumpster where the real 'politicians' feed.
Be sure to tune in again, and who knows when for sure, when your 'reliable' news station, 'BBSN' will surely bring more 'Breaking News' right to your hungry eyeballs.
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