'Ask Buddy', Installment Number 6
Looks like another 'needy' is needing my able assistance. Looks like he is in dire straits, so Let's get right to it.
Dear 'Bud',
I'm a 59 year old male who still lives with my parents. I really like people named 'Buddy', by the way. Currently, I have no hobbies or particular interests that might keep me occupied. I've never held a job, well, I did shovel snow from a neighbors driveway for three dollars once when I was about 12 years old, but my Father tells me 'better late than never', whatever that means. By the way 'Bud', do you have a drivers license and a car? Have you ever heard of Alaska?
I used to have friends but they all have decided to 'un-friend' me, something about because, 'allegedly', I lie all the time, and tried to have sex with their girlfriends or wives. I'm pretty 'sure' I really don't recall doing hardly any of that, that I know of. Oh, do you like to shoot cats?
Well, I have a very important question to ask you Buddy.
Will you be my BFF? Let me know soon as possible but give me time to pack an overnight bag. Thanks 'Bud', see you soon!
'Friendless in Point Barrow, Alaska'
Looks like another 'needy' is needing my able assistance. Looks like he is in dire straits, so Let's get right to it.
Dear 'Bud',
I'm a 59 year old male who still lives with my parents. I really like people named 'Buddy', by the way. Currently, I have no hobbies or particular interests that might keep me occupied. I've never held a job, well, I did shovel snow from a neighbors driveway for three dollars once when I was about 12 years old, but my Father tells me 'better late than never', whatever that means. By the way 'Bud', do you have a drivers license and a car? Have you ever heard of Alaska?
I used to have friends but they all have decided to 'un-friend' me, something about because, 'allegedly', I lie all the time, and tried to have sex with their girlfriends or wives. I'm pretty 'sure' I really don't recall doing hardly any of that, that I know of. Oh, do you like to shoot cats?
Well, I have a very important question to ask you Buddy.
Will you be my BFF? Let me know soon as possible but give me time to pack an overnight bag. Thanks 'Bud', see you soon!
'Friendless in Point Barrow, Alaska'
Dear 'Friendless',
Ahhhh...Oh 'sure'! Be 'glad' to be your 'friend', 'Friendless'.
Here's my very special 'friend' phone number; 123-456-7899. Do not, give this number to anyone! It's just for you. I use a special 'secret' code when 'friends' call me. Just dial my special number, let it ring seven (7) times, remember, only 'seven' times. Then hang up. Then dial it again letting it ring only five (5) times then hang up and call again letting it ring two (2) times, and hang up. After that, go down to your local Shopping Center, Ice Berg, or wherever lots of people hang out, and talk to 12 people. Remember, don't lie to them or try to 'screw' their significant others.
Then, stay by your phone, I'll call you back, using the same 'code' as above but be sure to answer on that last set of 'rings', early morning of the 2nd Tuesday, or 2nd Wednesday, of next week, whichever comes first.
Good luck, "Bud"!
Ahhhh...Oh 'sure'! Be 'glad' to be your 'friend', 'Friendless'.
Here's my very special 'friend' phone number; 123-456-7899. Do not, give this number to anyone! It's just for you. I use a special 'secret' code when 'friends' call me. Just dial my special number, let it ring seven (7) times, remember, only 'seven' times. Then hang up. Then dial it again letting it ring only five (5) times then hang up and call again letting it ring two (2) times, and hang up. After that, go down to your local Shopping Center, Ice Berg, or wherever lots of people hang out, and talk to 12 people. Remember, don't lie to them or try to 'screw' their significant others.
Then, stay by your phone, I'll call you back, using the same 'code' as above but be sure to answer on that last set of 'rings', early morning of the 2nd Tuesday, or 2nd Wednesday, of next week, whichever comes first.
Good luck, "Bud"!
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