Thursday, May 28, 2020

'Ask Buddy' Installment Number 4

'Ask Buddy' Installment Number 4

Dear Buddy,
 I know you can help me. Your 'reputation' as a 'self-help' guru is known far and wide, more or less, well, sorta.
Due to this overblown coronavirus flu, which as we all 'know' is no worse than a head cold, I was laid off from my job at a 'fast food' chain. I probably should have taken advantage of the chains offer at 'fast-tracking' to a management position but who needs that 'stuffed shirt' corporate stuff? Right?
Anyway, the franchise that laid me off called and wants me to come back to work. (!?) Right now I get twice the 'take home' money from un-employment payments than I was getting paid at work. Sweet!! What's the point in going back to work! Right Buddy? With that money I bought a really nice pair of 'Jet Skies' but they came without a towing trailer! Is that crazy or what!? Anyway, I need a new 'boat' trailer, a great deal at only 5g's that I can pull with my new SUV.
My question is, could you please advance me enough dough for the trailer, oh, and a few extra bucks for the insurance, tags, and such. Please hurry, boating season is here already!
Thanking you in advance,
'Lazy in Miami'


Dear Lazy In Miami,
  Your plea has plucked my 'heart strings' like no other request could possibly do.
Shame on your employer to have the gall to ask you to return to work at times like this! Have they no empathy for your plight?
But lucky you! You have caught me in a pensive, and 'giving' mood.
Yes, 'Lazy', I certainly can 'help' you in your financial straits.
Here's what I will do.
Unfortunately, all I have right now is a $10,000 'money order' which I will send to you right away, as I can see that 'time is of the essence'. Just as soon as you have it in your greedy little, lazy, hands, run right down to your bank and deposit it in your checking account. Then, immediately withdraw $4,600 in cash, and simply mail that portion, in cash, back to me so that I can balance my 'books'. You of course can keep the 5.4g's that are left which should cover the price of your new trailer, and unforeseen incidentals.
I'm really happy that you thought of me as your personal checkbook! I'm sure that we 'both', or at least one of us, will 'profit' from our 'business' relationship. P.S. you might want to keep your employers phone number handy.
Good luck, 'Lazy'!  ;)

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