'Ask Buddy'
Installment Number 2, of 'Ask Buddy'
Well believe it or not, at least one more quizzical reader with way too much time on his hands, has begged for an answer to a question, that for some reason known only to him, he does not actually 'know' the answer to, and as such, I will attempt to sooth his answer-less mind.
Installment Number 2, of 'Ask Buddy'
Well believe it or not, at least one more quizzical reader with way too much time on his hands, has begged for an answer to a question, that for some reason known only to him, he does not actually 'know' the answer to, and as such, I will attempt to sooth his answer-less mind.
Dear Buddy, A 'friend' of mine saw a TV commercial the other day where a couple of Woodchucks were tossing, or 'chucking', some poor guys firewood right into a pond! I, my 'friend' that is, remembers a little ditty from grade school, the few times 'he' actually attended, that went something like; 'If a Woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck'. My 'friend' is pretty sure that they can actually do that. 'His' question is; 'Do Woodchucks really chuck wood?'
Asking for a 'friend' in Ohio
Dear Asking for your 'friend', (wink, wink)
You'd be surprised at how many people don't ask 'that' question. But you, or rather, your 'friend', has, and so now I must help, as only I can. You came to the right person!
First off, your 'friend' 'does' realize that the commercial in question is just that, a made for TV 'commercial', and that woodchucks don't have opposable thumbs, right? Right? Anyway, here we are, so listen closely.
The best person to ask this question to is none other than a 'Woodchuck' itself. Yep. A doggone woodchuck! Who would have guessed!
And here's how you, or your 'friend', should go about it, I'll type r-e-a-l s l o w so that you can keep up.
First thing, run right out, and find a fresh Woodchuck hole. Look for one that does Not have a sign at the entrance that reads, 'Go Away, Don't Bother Me, That means YOU!' They always post that sign when they don't want to be bothered. Otherwise, when there's 'no sign', it means you're good to go.
Then, load up on a pocket full of Band-Aids, disinfectant, and wound suturing equipment.
Next, light a real smoky tree limb and poke it into the woodchucks hole.
Then, stick your head into the hole just as far as you possibly can, you know, just like when you have your head in your own rear end wondering about stupid stuff like 'woodchucking', and yell, 'FIRE'! FIRE!! This always gets a Woodchucks attention, and they'll come running to investigate. Oh, and be real fast with your question, you'll have only about three seconds to ask about the mystery of 'Woodchucks chucking wood'. Call me at my special private number, 555-555-5555, and let me know how you're doing.
And there you have it, another satisfied 'customer'. Tune in next time when 'Ask Buddy', fields, and solves another one of life's little mysteries for the wondering public.
Asking for a 'friend' in Ohio
Dear Asking for your 'friend', (wink, wink)
You'd be surprised at how many people don't ask 'that' question. But you, or rather, your 'friend', has, and so now I must help, as only I can. You came to the right person!
First off, your 'friend' 'does' realize that the commercial in question is just that, a made for TV 'commercial', and that woodchucks don't have opposable thumbs, right? Right? Anyway, here we are, so listen closely.
The best person to ask this question to is none other than a 'Woodchuck' itself. Yep. A doggone woodchuck! Who would have guessed!
And here's how you, or your 'friend', should go about it, I'll type r-e-a-l s l o w so that you can keep up.
First thing, run right out, and find a fresh Woodchuck hole. Look for one that does Not have a sign at the entrance that reads, 'Go Away, Don't Bother Me, That means YOU!' They always post that sign when they don't want to be bothered. Otherwise, when there's 'no sign', it means you're good to go.
Then, load up on a pocket full of Band-Aids, disinfectant, and wound suturing equipment.
Next, light a real smoky tree limb and poke it into the woodchucks hole.
Then, stick your head into the hole just as far as you possibly can, you know, just like when you have your head in your own rear end wondering about stupid stuff like 'woodchucking', and yell, 'FIRE'! FIRE!! This always gets a Woodchucks attention, and they'll come running to investigate. Oh, and be real fast with your question, you'll have only about three seconds to ask about the mystery of 'Woodchucks chucking wood'. Call me at my special private number, 555-555-5555, and let me know how you're doing.
And there you have it, another satisfied 'customer'. Tune in next time when 'Ask Buddy', fields, and solves another one of life's little mysteries for the wondering public.
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