'I'll explain. It seems that lately I've been having to explain away a lot of "fake news" generated by these "enemy of the people" 'news' reporters. Frankly, I'm tired of these guys trying to ruin our America with their constant attacks against me. That's My job! How dare they do my job for me! Oooo, how I hate them! Just about as much as I hate that disgusting Obama! Always telling the truth to make me look like a liar! These unwarranted attacks are making America look bad in the eyes of the whole world. People are talking. A lot of bad rumors about me. All "fake new"! No truth to it. Big "witch hunt". Should be a law that controls what they can print, and say, especially about Me. Good idea. I'll start with barring them from White House functions, especially if they continue to ask me questions that piss me off. Especially that filthy CNN! Just where do they think they are? Don't they realize that I'm the ruler of America, ruler of all things worth ruling? Disgusting trolls! I am the most powerful man on this planet! I'm very smart. I can use America's Constitution to hide behind while I chip away at the foundation of its Democratic institutions until at last I have deconstructed everything that made America great. My power is undisputed even if, uncontrolable, and not a little, out of control. Whatever. Call it what you like, but it remains that I am omnipotent, untouchable, invincible, indestructible, and, oh, did I mention, above the 'Law of The Land' that controls everyone else, but me? Don't you just love that snappy Constitution!? But hey, enough already, this isn't about Me, is it? What do you think of me so far?
Hey, did you see how I suckered those disgusting veterns into voting for me. Easy as pie. Even if only a few of them come out hating the 'news' media, they'll go out and convince a bunch more, and there you go, more voters for Trump! These people have no clue what's going on around them. I told them, “Just remember, what you are seeing and what you are reading is not what's happening.” That's called "alternative reality". Now you see it, now you don't. I could sell snake oil to a snake! If you want to 'know' the 'truth', and what's really happening, just ask Me. I'll tell you the 'honest truth', I cross my heart of stone that I'll always be 'truthful' no matter what it's about. Really. No kidding, I really will. I wouldn't lie to anyone, no matter how much I would want to. I've 'never' told a lie in my whole miserable life, and that's no lie. Honest. Do I 'look' like a liar? Huh? Well, do I??'
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Hey, did you see how I suckered those disgusting veterns into voting for me. Easy as pie. Even if only a few of them come out hating the 'news' media, they'll go out and convince a bunch more, and there you go, more voters for Trump! These people have no clue what's going on around them. I told them, “Just remember, what you are seeing and what you are reading is not what's happening.” That's called "alternative reality". Now you see it, now you don't. I could sell snake oil to a snake! If you want to 'know' the 'truth', and what's really happening, just ask Me. I'll tell you the 'honest truth', I cross my heart of stone that I'll always be 'truthful' no matter what it's about. Really. No kidding, I really will. I wouldn't lie to anyone, no matter how much I would want to. I've 'never' told a lie in my whole miserable life, and that's no lie. Honest. Do I 'look' like a liar? Huh? Well, do I??'
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