'Dear 'Erd',
Hey bro, I thought we were like 'fist-bump' pals. What happened? What went wrong? What have You done that now makes us now so estranged? Sad. Just the other I was praising your incredible 'leadership', your ability to know what your people want, your 'humanity' towards your citizens, your compassion, your willingness to allow your people to freely express themselves in all matters. Was I wrong? Did I "read" you wrong in our "first minute" of meeting"?
I thought you and I were so much alike that I was ready to name my next boy man-child after you. Remember when we walked arm in arm telling jokes, and sharing military secrets, well, actually that was mostly me. Remember how I promised to sell you a bunch of my brand new top secret F-35 Figher Jets? Remember how we chuckled when I invited you over for a sleep over in my castle? But boy, did we have fun! And now look at us. Obviously you have done something to ruin our close friendship to the point that now I must threaten, and bully you into doing things my way. For instance, you are holding a very nice Christian man against his, and his Gods, will. That makes me angry Erd, because if you don't let him go free I will lose millions of Evangelical voters who believed me when I told them that I would make you let him come home. Come on Erd!! Give me a friggin' break here already! They believed me Erd! Do you have any idea what that means!? Yeah, yeah, I know that people aren't allowed to actually vote in your country, which would be pretty cool here, but right now I get, well, in theory anyway, 'elected' by votes. And if people 'think' that I lie to them, which I would never, ever, do because I am very Christian, they will refuse to vote for me. Of course as soon as I have made laws that will make it so that I am a lifetime ruler of America, I wont have to worry about 'votes' because I'll already be there. Soon, "We'll see".
I had hoped to learn so much from you Erd, I admired your heavy handed leadership, the way you made your people bow at the sound of your very name, the way you suppressed those who dislike you, and so much more. You really know how to get 'respect'. I admire that in a dictator Erd, and I strive to be more like that myself.
I wanted to be your BFF, but now, I must return to being what I really am, a big hateful bully, and force you to do what I want you to do. At first thought I could catch more flies with my sweet honey tongue, but now I must revert to my real self and beat you down with my hateful self, just as I do to my own people.
As soon as you are ready to grovel before my throne just let me knw Erd, and I will consider what I shall do with you.
Until then I will make you so sorry that you have rebuffed my lies. Oh, guess what looser, Vlad Putin is now my FWB-BFF! HaHa! You're not half the 'man' he is! Eat your heart out looser!
Disrespectfully yours, Donald Trump, 'The Incompetent'.'
Hey bro, I thought we were like 'fist-bump' pals. What happened? What went wrong? What have You done that now makes us now so estranged? Sad. Just the other I was praising your incredible 'leadership', your ability to know what your people want, your 'humanity' towards your citizens, your compassion, your willingness to allow your people to freely express themselves in all matters. Was I wrong? Did I "read" you wrong in our "first minute" of meeting"?
I thought you and I were so much alike that I was ready to name my next boy man-child after you. Remember when we walked arm in arm telling jokes, and sharing military secrets, well, actually that was mostly me. Remember how I promised to sell you a bunch of my brand new top secret F-35 Figher Jets? Remember how we chuckled when I invited you over for a sleep over in my castle? But boy, did we have fun! And now look at us. Obviously you have done something to ruin our close friendship to the point that now I must threaten, and bully you into doing things my way. For instance, you are holding a very nice Christian man against his, and his Gods, will. That makes me angry Erd, because if you don't let him go free I will lose millions of Evangelical voters who believed me when I told them that I would make you let him come home. Come on Erd!! Give me a friggin' break here already! They believed me Erd! Do you have any idea what that means!? Yeah, yeah, I know that people aren't allowed to actually vote in your country, which would be pretty cool here, but right now I get, well, in theory anyway, 'elected' by votes. And if people 'think' that I lie to them, which I would never, ever, do because I am very Christian, they will refuse to vote for me. Of course as soon as I have made laws that will make it so that I am a lifetime ruler of America, I wont have to worry about 'votes' because I'll already be there. Soon, "We'll see".
I had hoped to learn so much from you Erd, I admired your heavy handed leadership, the way you made your people bow at the sound of your very name, the way you suppressed those who dislike you, and so much more. You really know how to get 'respect'. I admire that in a dictator Erd, and I strive to be more like that myself.
I wanted to be your BFF, but now, I must return to being what I really am, a big hateful bully, and force you to do what I want you to do. At first thought I could catch more flies with my sweet honey tongue, but now I must revert to my real self and beat you down with my hateful self, just as I do to my own people.
As soon as you are ready to grovel before my throne just let me knw Erd, and I will consider what I shall do with you.
Until then I will make you so sorry that you have rebuffed my lies. Oh, guess what looser, Vlad Putin is now my FWB-BFF! HaHa! You're not half the 'man' he is! Eat your heart out looser!
Disrespectfully yours, Donald Trump, 'The Incompetent'.'
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