Dear Teddy, yes, by all means, you should quarantine yourself, mostly for the protection of the rest of America. Here's a sure fire method of virus protection that will work for you and your other trump-cult followers.
First, you must line your secret closet, you 'know' the one Teddy, with heavy duty aluminum foil, even the floor. Be sure to install a Ten Bolt Safe Door in lieu of that flimsy wooden door. You can never be too safe Teddy.
Next, you must destroy all of your tele-communication devices, such as mobile phones, land-line phones, lap-tops, I-pads, and yes Teddy, even your video player, you know, the one used for those 'special' movies when you're all alone in your little closet. Did you know that jesus can see everything you do in there? He sure can Teddy. And no Teddy, you do Not look like jesus just because you grew that scruffy 'man-beard', more like a convert to Taliban. Remember to remove all light bulbs, flashlights and such prior to entering your closet. This 'quarantine' method works best if practiced in total darkness, you know, just like you do when at work. Speaking of 'work', you should take at least five of your closest republican co-horts with you. Group quarantine really works wonders for the soul.
First, you must line your secret closet, you 'know' the one Teddy, with heavy duty aluminum foil, even the floor. Be sure to install a Ten Bolt Safe Door in lieu of that flimsy wooden door. You can never be too safe Teddy.
Next, you must destroy all of your tele-communication devices, such as mobile phones, land-line phones, lap-tops, I-pads, and yes Teddy, even your video player, you know, the one used for those 'special' movies when you're all alone in your little closet. Did you know that jesus can see everything you do in there? He sure can Teddy. And no Teddy, you do Not look like jesus just because you grew that scruffy 'man-beard', more like a convert to Taliban. Remember to remove all light bulbs, flashlights and such prior to entering your closet. This 'quarantine' method works best if practiced in total darkness, you know, just like you do when at work. Speaking of 'work', you should take at least five of your closest republican co-horts with you. Group quarantine really works wonders for the soul.
Next, do Not tell Anyone where you have hidden yourself. That means NO ONE Teddy! This will only work if you tell no one about where you will be until it's safe, if ever, to come out. Speaking of 'coming out' Teddy, have you ever considered that one?
Next, ensure that the military grade Safe Door of your closet can only be 'un-locked' from the exterior side, and latches securely when you enter and pull the door closed.
So, hop right in there Teddy, we'll knock the 'special knock' on your door when it's safe for you to come out. Luck, Teddy.
See MoreNext, ensure that the military grade Safe Door of your closet can only be 'un-locked' from the exterior side, and latches securely when you enter and pull the door closed.
So, hop right in there Teddy, we'll knock the 'special knock' on your door when it's safe for you to come out. Luck, Teddy.
No comments:
Post a Comment