'Welllll! Would you lOOk at me! I said look at me!!! I'm whatcha might call a "wartime president"! A 'Warrior-In-Chief'! I really am! No kidding folks! Now some of you, mostly democrats, will say, 'what war'? What country did we attack now?' But, no, no, no, not 'that' kind of 'war' silly, and besides, who's keeping score anyway. Look folks, I'm a 'warrior'. My personal spiritual advisor, Paula, 'The Crystal Ball Reader', has told me that god sent me here on a special mission to save the whole world from itself. And now look! Just in the nick of time, I tell you! I have my special 'war suit' on, my flaxen doo all sprayed stiff as my upper lip, I'm surrounded by my hand picked, head nodding finger puppets, and I'm ready for 'war'. Or, well, something like that anyway. Oh, does my raccoon eye tan make my ass look big, or is it just me?
Anyway, I must run along now, 'reality' is looking me in the face so I must be off to fight the good war. The "hoax" that I first thought was a hoax has turned into a 'not hoax', and I must, and this is no hoax, place blame where blame is due, make up excuses while I can, be as opaquely 'clear' as my mind allows, create incredible distractions and division, insult my subjects, be a good and powerful king, cause pain whenever possible, and to always tell the truth, when I can.
Remember, I have the situation under control, very controlled, all is well, huge brain, I suggest that everyone head for Florida's beaches and party like there's no tomorrow, or next week, or next year...we'll see. I'll ask Paula.
Did I mention that on a scale of 1-100, for saving millions of American lives and having the situation well in hand, being 'truthful', and being the best president America has ever, and will ever have, that I have given myself a 100+ score. No president can ever top that score! Really. Honest. Believe me. This time. Pretty please.'
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Anyway, I must run along now, 'reality' is looking me in the face so I must be off to fight the good war. The "hoax" that I first thought was a hoax has turned into a 'not hoax', and I must, and this is no hoax, place blame where blame is due, make up excuses while I can, be as opaquely 'clear' as my mind allows, create incredible distractions and division, insult my subjects, be a good and powerful king, cause pain whenever possible, and to always tell the truth, when I can.
Remember, I have the situation under control, very controlled, all is well, huge brain, I suggest that everyone head for Florida's beaches and party like there's no tomorrow, or next week, or next year...we'll see. I'll ask Paula.
Did I mention that on a scale of 1-100, for saving millions of American lives and having the situation well in hand, being 'truthful', and being the best president America has ever, and will ever have, that I have given myself a 100+ score. No president can ever top that score! Really. Honest. Believe me. This time. Pretty please.'
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