'My fellow subjects, my loyal minions, my faithful cult followers, especially a big shout out to 'christian' gun owners nation wide, especially those who know how to vote, after 'careful' consideration, and a lengthy, very private, very "perfect" phone call with my friends at the NRA, as you 'know' one of my largest 'under the table' contributors, I have all by my very self decided that the best antidote, the only cure, the only reliable 'medicine' for this coronavirus, or whatever the hell it really is, no one knows, it's called so many things, who knows, is god fearing American's with a gun in each hand in order to fend off this monster that "prayers and thoughts" have absolutely no effect on. It's in serious life threatening times such as this that all American's must protect themselves, and save millions and millions, and millions of innocent lives any way they can. And of course, as any hospital critical care unit can attest to, firearms are a sure way to 'save' lives.
So, as I am want to do when I need a really good distraction, I'm issuing a 'presidential' decree, effective immediately; All “Workers supporting the operation of firearm or ammunition product manufacturers, retailers, importers,
distributors, and shooting ranges.” are deemed as critical in the fight against this invisible enemy. An American without a gun in his hand is a defenseless American! We must shoot our way out of this pandemic!
I would like to personally thank in advance, all my wealthy friends at the NRA, every American that owns a firearm, every armed christian, every member of my 'cult', for your upcoming vote in November.
Remember folks, I'm the only candidate that was willing to put a gun in your hands so that you could defend yourselves when that ugly Chinese flu came knocking at your door.
Well, I must go now, very important, perfect phone calls to make, 'presidential' decisions to conjure up, finger puppets to manipulate, busy, busy me, your self appointed, holy anointed, 'king for a day.'
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So, as I am want to do when I need a really good distraction, I'm issuing a 'presidential' decree, effective immediately; All “Workers supporting the operation of firearm or ammunition product manufacturers, retailers, importers,
distributors, and shooting ranges.” are deemed as critical in the fight against this invisible enemy. An American without a gun in his hand is a defenseless American! We must shoot our way out of this pandemic!
I would like to personally thank in advance, all my wealthy friends at the NRA, every American that owns a firearm, every armed christian, every member of my 'cult', for your upcoming vote in November.
Remember folks, I'm the only candidate that was willing to put a gun in your hands so that you could defend yourselves when that ugly Chinese flu came knocking at your door.
Well, I must go now, very important, perfect phone calls to make, 'presidential' decisions to conjure up, finger puppets to manipulate, busy, busy me, your self appointed, holy anointed, 'king for a day.'
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