Let The 'War' begin
'Oh craps! Man, I'm catching hell at every turn around here! Nobody said it'd be like This! That disgusting Mueller is about to set my butt on fire, can't even call my almost lover Vlad, he's not answering my calls from my underwear phone, no clue what to do about anything arund here, must think of a cool diversion. What to do, what to do. All my 'trusted' lemmings have jumped off their own inept cliffs. Can't trust anyone, not even that disgusting Kushner! Everyones declaring war on me. War....hmmm.. wait! That's it!! Why didn't I think of this before! A 'war', hmmm....not a real war, you know, where people really get whacked, and blood, and guts, and stuff. A really good 'make believe' kind, make believe, just like the world I actually live in. How can I really piss off my enemies, and make enemies of our friends..hmmm, and take attention away from my smouldering arse at the same time. Man, I'd trade my 24 karat toilet for..wait, that's it, 'trade', that's it! I've got it! A 'trade' war!!! A good ol' fashion 'Tariff' War!!!! Everyone loves trade wars, Everyone! Wow, they're so much fun, everybody will get to join in and play with me. No blood, nobody gets hurt, no damage, we win, they lose, and during the excitement, everyone forgets about 'me'! This will be 'great' for America! Our economy will bust right through the roof, industry will flourish, CEO's will become filthy rich overnight, consumer prices will fall to unheard of levels, unbelieveable, every American will have lots of extra spending cash in every one of their Obama empty pockets! No one has ever seen something as 'great' as this! Why hasn't someone thought of this before? That's why I'm President, and they aren't. All my faithfuls will praise my name, and speaking of 'names', they'll even name their children after me. Of course I have a patent on it, and I'll make so much money from it. I'm whatcha might call a, 'businessman'. Sure, I'm famous now, but just wait until the whole world gets a load of This idea! They ain't seen nothing yet. Nope, nothing. The whole world will prostrate itself before my throne, kissing my manicured toes, and begging me to forgive them of their sins. Move over Pope, I'm moving in! Welcome to my new 'religion', Republicanism. Yeah, trade wars are good for everyone, everyone loves trade wars! And if any disgusting country doesn't like it, we'll just write them of as loosers. Yeah, we don't need anyone. Disgusting whiners! America can do it all alone! With me at the helm of this TitanicAmerica luxury liner there's no way we can fail. Absolutely no way! Really. Full steam ahead boys, damn the 'iceburgs'. Ramming speed ahead! Let the 'war' begin!'
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'Oh craps! Man, I'm catching hell at every turn around here! Nobody said it'd be like This! That disgusting Mueller is about to set my butt on fire, can't even call my almost lover Vlad, he's not answering my calls from my underwear phone, no clue what to do about anything arund here, must think of a cool diversion. What to do, what to do. All my 'trusted' lemmings have jumped off their own inept cliffs. Can't trust anyone, not even that disgusting Kushner! Everyones declaring war on me. War....hmmm.. wait! That's it!! Why didn't I think of this before! A 'war', hmmm....not a real war, you know, where people really get whacked, and blood, and guts, and stuff. A really good 'make believe' kind, make believe, just like the world I actually live in. How can I really piss off my enemies, and make enemies of our friends..hmmm, and take attention away from my smouldering arse at the same time. Man, I'd trade my 24 karat toilet for..wait, that's it, 'trade', that's it! I've got it! A 'trade' war!!! A good ol' fashion 'Tariff' War!!!! Everyone loves trade wars, Everyone! Wow, they're so much fun, everybody will get to join in and play with me. No blood, nobody gets hurt, no damage, we win, they lose, and during the excitement, everyone forgets about 'me'! This will be 'great' for America! Our economy will bust right through the roof, industry will flourish, CEO's will become filthy rich overnight, consumer prices will fall to unheard of levels, unbelieveable, every American will have lots of extra spending cash in every one of their Obama empty pockets! No one has ever seen something as 'great' as this! Why hasn't someone thought of this before? That's why I'm President, and they aren't. All my faithfuls will praise my name, and speaking of 'names', they'll even name their children after me. Of course I have a patent on it, and I'll make so much money from it. I'm whatcha might call a, 'businessman'. Sure, I'm famous now, but just wait until the whole world gets a load of This idea! They ain't seen nothing yet. Nope, nothing. The whole world will prostrate itself before my throne, kissing my manicured toes, and begging me to forgive them of their sins. Move over Pope, I'm moving in! Welcome to my new 'religion', Republicanism. Yeah, trade wars are good for everyone, everyone loves trade wars! And if any disgusting country doesn't like it, we'll just write them of as loosers. Yeah, we don't need anyone. Disgusting whiners! America can do it all alone! With me at the helm of this TitanicAmerica luxury liner there's no way we can fail. Absolutely no way! Really. Full steam ahead boys, damn the 'iceburgs'. Ramming speed ahead! Let the 'war' begin!'
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