'WaaaaaaaaaaaWaaaaaaa, please don't put in jail where I actually belong, your Honor. Waaaaa! If I'm in jail how will I get fresh 'pull-ups' every day? And would I be able to take my grape flavored pacifiers with me? Waaaaa!
Your Honor, Waaaaa!, here are the reasons that I became a ruthless hard core gang leader, often called the "Godfather".
It all started when I was born, Waaaaa!, at a very young age. You see, until I was around four years old I had very few close intimate friends to hang with. No older pals to properly guide me in the art of criminality, Waaaaa!, and this set me back untold years in my street gang development.
Then, in kindergarten, I was influenced by an older friend who had been living on the streets. He put me on the path of thuggery which I was unable, due to my extreme youth, Waaaaaa!, to escape. Crazy me! If only I knew then what I know now. WaaaaWaaa!
In elementary school I discovered that a lot of kids were bigger, and meaner than myself. This forced me to excel at fighting, mayhem, and proper leadership of weaker minds.
Then in 'high school I became interested in music, you know, 'rap' music, and boy did I ever love that music that denigrates women, and praises the gang 'hood' life of illegal drugs, prostitution, robbery, you know, harmless stuff like that that children often do by mistake.
Speaking of 'children', your Honor did you know I have two of my own...somewhere out there. But I've always been a great 'father' and role model for them to follow. And boy, are they ever 'proud' of my accomplishments in life, especially my 'gangster' music, and my 'criminal street gang' leadership abilities! Please don't make them to continue living without me. Waaaaa!
I was always so young and dumb your Honor. Waaaa! Now, as and adult at 38 years old I'm pretty 'sure' I've learned my 'lesson', and practically promise to go on the straight and narrow if only, Waaaa!, you will show mercy on my sorry, pathetic, criminal soul. Waaaa!
In short your Honor, I'm almost 'sorry' for all the crimes I have committed, if any at all. I think you will agree that my life has been really screwed up by the criminal path my 'friends' 'forced' me to take. WaaaaWaa!
I hope your Honor is having a pleasant day doing stuff that judges do, while I sit in this bed bug infested jail waiting for you to feel sorry for me, Waaaaa!, and give me a very light punishment, you know, something like doing my very short sentence in the comfort of my 'hood' where I will do things like helping old ladies cross the street, picking up trash, and even telling my fellow gang members that crime is really a low paying profession.
Please your Honor, WaaaWaaaaaa!, please don't send me to jail, please, please, pretty please, won't you please feel sorry for me, just this once...please, WaaaWaaaWaaaaaa!' ;)
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Your Honor, Waaaaa!, here are the reasons that I became a ruthless hard core gang leader, often called the "Godfather".
It all started when I was born, Waaaaa!, at a very young age. You see, until I was around four years old I had very few close intimate friends to hang with. No older pals to properly guide me in the art of criminality, Waaaaa!, and this set me back untold years in my street gang development.
Then, in kindergarten, I was influenced by an older friend who had been living on the streets. He put me on the path of thuggery which I was unable, due to my extreme youth, Waaaaaa!, to escape. Crazy me! If only I knew then what I know now. WaaaaWaaa!
In elementary school I discovered that a lot of kids were bigger, and meaner than myself. This forced me to excel at fighting, mayhem, and proper leadership of weaker minds.
Then in 'high school I became interested in music, you know, 'rap' music, and boy did I ever love that music that denigrates women, and praises the gang 'hood' life of illegal drugs, prostitution, robbery, you know, harmless stuff like that that children often do by mistake.
Speaking of 'children', your Honor did you know I have two of my own...somewhere out there. But I've always been a great 'father' and role model for them to follow. And boy, are they ever 'proud' of my accomplishments in life, especially my 'gangster' music, and my 'criminal street gang' leadership abilities! Please don't make them to continue living without me. Waaaaa!
I was always so young and dumb your Honor. Waaaa! Now, as and adult at 38 years old I'm pretty 'sure' I've learned my 'lesson', and practically promise to go on the straight and narrow if only, Waaaa!, you will show mercy on my sorry, pathetic, criminal soul. Waaaa!
In short your Honor, I'm almost 'sorry' for all the crimes I have committed, if any at all. I think you will agree that my life has been really screwed up by the criminal path my 'friends' 'forced' me to take. WaaaaWaa!
I hope your Honor is having a pleasant day doing stuff that judges do, while I sit in this bed bug infested jail waiting for you to feel sorry for me, Waaaaa!, and give me a very light punishment, you know, something like doing my very short sentence in the comfort of my 'hood' where I will do things like helping old ladies cross the street, picking up trash, and even telling my fellow gang members that crime is really a low paying profession.
Please your Honor, WaaaWaaaaaa!, please don't send me to jail, please, please, pretty please, won't you please feel sorry for me, just this once...please, WaaaWaaaWaaaaaa!' ;)
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