'Look, I'm the 'King' of America, and I can do what I want to do and no one can stop me. And what's all this whine about those disgusting cave dwelling Kurds that my BFF in Turkey is slaughtering even as we speak? I mean, what's with the cry-baby stuff? What did those camel herders ever do for Me,...errr...I mean for America? Just give me one good , not "fake news" instance where thy helped America. Now I'm no official 'historian' or 'history major', or anything like that, although I do have a very large brain, but think about this for a second; Where were they when we needed their help during the Civil War, or any other war? Remember that one? Terrible times, Mexico trying to takeover our country! I mean who does that? And where were these lazy Kurds when we needed their help? George Washington begged, and pleaded for them to help us, even offered to pay them! Who turns down money!?? I sure don't! But they did! Refused to even loan us a few tanks, and airplanes! But you know what? With the able guidance of my great grandfather we went on to win that war with just one or two casualties without their help. That's the kind of 'war' I like, no one dies!
So why should we help them now? Why should they deserve our help when they've 'never' helped America? Traitors! Good for nothing 'turn tails'! Sorry excuse for an 'ally'! How dare they abandon America when we needed them most!! Who does that!??! This will teach them a 'lesson' they'll Never forget! After this, that is if any survive, they'll come crawling on bloody knees to my throne begging for forgiveness, pleading to be 'friends' again. They should just hide in their caves until things cool down. Besides, my BFF, President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has 'pinkie promised' me that he will not harm even one innocent hair on the heads of women, children, and the elderly. He's one honest ally! I just gotta believe that guy! Great family guy! His serfs bow at the mention of his holy name, just like American's do when they hear my humble name. Great 'Dictator-In-Waiting'. He's a lot like me, myself, and I, where we 'never' tell a lie, and reject "fake news", and never repeat a rumor.
But hey, on a much more important note, how about that snappy tennis court my 'Queen' is building at my castle, and she doesn't even know how to play tennis, with tax payer dollars, with her very on hands! What a hoot! Last week I told her to find something, anything, to do with America's tax money, something that every American will 'benefit' from, something that American's will always 'remember' her by. Dont'cha just love a woman with her own simple mind? I sure 'do'. Politics and ruining...oppps...I mean running, a country, is a 'mans' job. Oh well, nobody ever said it would be easy being the 'King' of America, but I sure make it look easy, huh? Remember to vote again for me in 2020. Really. Pretty please?'
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So why should we help them now? Why should they deserve our help when they've 'never' helped America? Traitors! Good for nothing 'turn tails'! Sorry excuse for an 'ally'! How dare they abandon America when we needed them most!! Who does that!??! This will teach them a 'lesson' they'll Never forget! After this, that is if any survive, they'll come crawling on bloody knees to my throne begging for forgiveness, pleading to be 'friends' again. They should just hide in their caves until things cool down. Besides, my BFF, President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has 'pinkie promised' me that he will not harm even one innocent hair on the heads of women, children, and the elderly. He's one honest ally! I just gotta believe that guy! Great family guy! His serfs bow at the mention of his holy name, just like American's do when they hear my humble name. Great 'Dictator-In-Waiting'. He's a lot like me, myself, and I, where we 'never' tell a lie, and reject "fake news", and never repeat a rumor.
But hey, on a much more important note, how about that snappy tennis court my 'Queen' is building at my castle, and she doesn't even know how to play tennis, with tax payer dollars, with her very on hands! What a hoot! Last week I told her to find something, anything, to do with America's tax money, something that every American will 'benefit' from, something that American's will always 'remember' her by. Dont'cha just love a woman with her own simple mind? I sure 'do'. Politics and ruining...oppps...I mean running, a country, is a 'mans' job. Oh well, nobody ever said it would be easy being the 'King' of America, but I sure make it look easy, huh? Remember to vote again for me in 2020. Really. Pretty please?'
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