'Ooooooo..I'm gonna do some really "dastardly things" to Iran. And they know exactly what I'm talking about, even if I, myself, don't. I don't know. We'll see. Maybe. Maybe I'll just call them dastardly names. Or, maybe I'll just never speak to them again. I know that will piss them off to no end, but what's a guy to do when some petty, rogue, terroristic country holds the whole world hostage because everyone's scared to death that they'll do really mean things. And as you can plainly see, for me, myself, and I, we're already suffering from, among other serious mental issues, the infamous 'Stockholm Syndrome', to the point that now, I think, I'm pretty sure, probably, that Iran probably had some 'good' reason in bombing the Saudi oil fields. I don't know. We'll see. And, they did it without killing even one single person, not even a camel. You gotta admire that! That's the kind of 'war' I like, one where no one gets hurt. You know, sorta like my 'harmless', little 'tariff war' where not one single American has been injured. Right?
But seriously folks, Iran is really a pretty mean place. I didn't know they have those 'drones', and missile stuff. Who would have guessed? Nobody told me. I've fired most all of my Intel people, and any that's left wont talk to me. Really, I was left in the dark about that. And now look. Ka-Boom! They probably have some more of those things! Wow! I better be careful. I really like my job as 'King Scaredy Pants'. You know what happens when you stir up a hornets nest. Right? But look, they aren't 'bothering' America, right? So what's the matter? I've got more important stuff to worry about, you know, stuff like calling people "dastardly" names, belittling friends, firing 'great' people, ruining lives, polluting America's environment, telling lie after lie, after lie, after lie, you know, important stuff like that. But that's just me, regular big brained me, myself, and I. Honest. It's ok to believe me. Really.'
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But seriously folks, Iran is really a pretty mean place. I didn't know they have those 'drones', and missile stuff. Who would have guessed? Nobody told me. I've fired most all of my Intel people, and any that's left wont talk to me. Really, I was left in the dark about that. And now look. Ka-Boom! They probably have some more of those things! Wow! I better be careful. I really like my job as 'King Scaredy Pants'. You know what happens when you stir up a hornets nest. Right? But look, they aren't 'bothering' America, right? So what's the matter? I've got more important stuff to worry about, you know, stuff like calling people "dastardly" names, belittling friends, firing 'great' people, ruining lives, polluting America's environment, telling lie after lie, after lie, after lie, you know, important stuff like that. But that's just me, regular big brained me, myself, and I. Honest. It's ok to believe me. Really.'
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