'Well, it's about damn time I get credit where credit is due! I mean, what's it been, a couple a hundred years that I've been ignored around here!? What am I, a myth or something? But at last, the learned Republicans of my favorite state, Texass, have finally got it right, and placed me right where I should have been all along. I am now officially named as one of America's, especially Texass, "Founding Fathers". What a gig!
Now some of you may wonder why I was not at the 'Founding Party" with all those other guys. Hey, I can't be every place at the same time. I was a pretty busy guy working as a contractor for jesus back then what with 'parting the seas', conjuring up those snappy 'Ten Commandants', helping Noah build that little 'floatboat', and then traveling on foot all around the world collecting two of every living animal, then bringing them back to Noah so he could save them from the impending 'Flood', and of course there were other things to do and places to go. Busy, busy. Didn't have 'Public Transportation' back then you know. So, as you can see, I missed that little 'Founding Fathers Party', if I could have been there, I would have been there. I actually RSVP'd their invite but 'snail-mail' service was a little sketchy in those days. But yeah, they took all of my ideas, and advice, and built America, especially Texass, around the Bible's teachings. I even told them how to eventually get rid of most of those pesky aboriginal peoples. It was only later that the Demon-crats redacted me right out of the picture. Who does that!?
But now, the 'historical' record has been set straight, and praise the good lord for giving the wonderfully enlightened people of Texass the good 'common sense' to re-write history in my favor, and at the same time put Texass back on the roadmap to Heaven. I always say, 'It's never too late to fabricate, and re-write history'. By the way, I'm busy stumping for Noah to be elected also as one of America's Founding Fathers. The 'learned' state of Texass seems to be a great place to start.'
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Now some of you may wonder why I was not at the 'Founding Party" with all those other guys. Hey, I can't be every place at the same time. I was a pretty busy guy working as a contractor for jesus back then what with 'parting the seas', conjuring up those snappy 'Ten Commandants', helping Noah build that little 'floatboat', and then traveling on foot all around the world collecting two of every living animal, then bringing them back to Noah so he could save them from the impending 'Flood', and of course there were other things to do and places to go. Busy, busy. Didn't have 'Public Transportation' back then you know. So, as you can see, I missed that little 'Founding Fathers Party', if I could have been there, I would have been there. I actually RSVP'd their invite but 'snail-mail' service was a little sketchy in those days. But yeah, they took all of my ideas, and advice, and built America, especially Texass, around the Bible's teachings. I even told them how to eventually get rid of most of those pesky aboriginal peoples. It was only later that the Demon-crats redacted me right out of the picture. Who does that!?
But now, the 'historical' record has been set straight, and praise the good lord for giving the wonderfully enlightened people of Texass the good 'common sense' to re-write history in my favor, and at the same time put Texass back on the roadmap to Heaven. I always say, 'It's never too late to fabricate, and re-write history'. By the way, I'm busy stumping for Noah to be elected also as one of America's Founding Fathers. The 'learned' state of Texass seems to be a great place to start.'
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