!Breaking 'News'! 'News' Alert! 'Active' Shooter Alert!
Breaking 'News', brought straight to you by 'BBSN' (BuddyBlack'sSatiricalNews), the 'News' source you can always 'trust', right from the scene of an 'accidental' shOOting incident happening right now in 'BullsEye', Texas.
Let's take you right to the scene where our always 'Johnny-on-the-spot' 'news' guy, BuddyBlack, has the latest 'news' on a horrific, yet not un-common shooting incident.
Yes, good evening folks. I'm here in 'BullsEye',Texas, now also known as the 'gunslinger' state since recent NRA sponsored legislation was passed that allows everyone with even a slightly recordable heart beat to carry their favorite firearm sans a permit.
Totally, and by fortuitous coincidence, I just happen to have been in the check-out line of the states largest foodchain, 'FoodScrapes R Totally Us', where just moments ago I actually witnessed, and survived, a horrific, terrifying shoot-out that would rival the incident at the 'OK Corral', inside this very grocery store.
There I was folks, minding my own business, thinking of nothing in particular, when of a sudden a deafening shot rang out only three isles to my right! That shot was quickly followed by a seemingly endless volley of more shots that rang out through-out the store. Bullets were indiscriminately tearing through merchandise and shoppers alike, bullets that seemed destined to find more living targets than not, and did.
Then, all was quiet but for the moaning, and wailing of the wounded, and crying of those victims still living. The sweet, acrid smell of burnt gunpowder wafted across the isles, and a blue haze hung in the air like morning fog.
Almost as quickly, the store was flooded with frantic, yet determined police officers, guns drawn, intent on capturing the 'bad guys' who perpetrated this ghastly bloody event. Then, more shots rang out which reverberated through-out the store, this time emitting from the officers guns as the officers encountered numerous, and to 'them' what 'appeared' to be 'bad guys' with guns still in hand through-out the store. According to a police spokesman, the current count of those shot during the initial incident is approximately twenty-three, with an additional six shot as a result of police gunfire, with what right now stands at about nine confirmed as deceased. The toll will no doubt go higher as the scene has not been totally cleared yet.
What a horrible sight folks! Sometimes when we hear news of someone 'wounded' by gunfire, we think of not much more than a little hole that a band-aide will fix, or maybe just a 'wing' shot. But let me put that notion to sleep once and for all folks! Bullets are simply missiles straight from hell! I saw shredded, and severed limbs, bodies blown open with guts laying on the floor, heads exploded, and brains scattered about like mush. Women, and children dead, and dying! The term 'wounded by gunfire' takes on a whole new 'meaning' when seen in real 'life and death' incidents. There's no such thing as a John Wayne 'fleshwound' from 'real' bullets! The NRA claims that "Guns do not 'kill' people", but 'Bullets' certainly do!
I have just now spoken with my source who tells me the following; It appears that initially, a happy gun totting customer accidentally dropped his pistol while retrieving his wallet in the check-out line, the pistol discharged upon hitting the floor, the bullet of which struck the customer in front of this particular gun totter. As he picked up his gun, the wounded customer, who thought this was a 'robbery' in progress, drew his Own gun firing at the owner of that gun striking a customer behind him. This initiated even more customers to draw their own guns who began firing at anyone else holding a gun that they suspected of being a 'bad guy'. Then, when the police arrived, they not then knowing the circumstances of the initial shooting, they encountered numerous individuals with guns in hand, and whom the police could only suppose were 'bad guys' with guns, in a still fluid situation, where-upon in defence of themselves, and to rescue innocent victims, they took immediate lethal action to end threats posed by these armed and dangerous, seemingly 'bad guys' with guns, which inadvertently added to the carnage, and casualty toll.
This was a horrible, and avoidable, and totally senseless tragedy that certainly won't be the last, in our newly expanded gun loving, gun totting society where the NRA is firmly in control of Congress, and of misguided Republicans across America who have convinced otherwise sane Americans that the best way to 'stop a good guy with a gun, is a 'good guy' with a gun'.
:/ :/
Breaking 'News', brought straight to you by 'BBSN' (BuddyBlack'sSatiricalNews), the 'News' source you can always 'trust', right from the scene of an 'accidental' shOOting incident happening right now in 'BullsEye', Texas.
Let's take you right to the scene where our always 'Johnny-on-the-spot' 'news' guy, BuddyBlack, has the latest 'news' on a horrific, yet not un-common shooting incident.
Yes, good evening folks. I'm here in 'BullsEye',Texas, now also known as the 'gunslinger' state since recent NRA sponsored legislation was passed that allows everyone with even a slightly recordable heart beat to carry their favorite firearm sans a permit.
Totally, and by fortuitous coincidence, I just happen to have been in the check-out line of the states largest foodchain, 'FoodScrapes R Totally Us', where just moments ago I actually witnessed, and survived, a horrific, terrifying shoot-out that would rival the incident at the 'OK Corral', inside this very grocery store.
There I was folks, minding my own business, thinking of nothing in particular, when of a sudden a deafening shot rang out only three isles to my right! That shot was quickly followed by a seemingly endless volley of more shots that rang out through-out the store. Bullets were indiscriminately tearing through merchandise and shoppers alike, bullets that seemed destined to find more living targets than not, and did.
Then, all was quiet but for the moaning, and wailing of the wounded, and crying of those victims still living. The sweet, acrid smell of burnt gunpowder wafted across the isles, and a blue haze hung in the air like morning fog.
Almost as quickly, the store was flooded with frantic, yet determined police officers, guns drawn, intent on capturing the 'bad guys' who perpetrated this ghastly bloody event. Then, more shots rang out which reverberated through-out the store, this time emitting from the officers guns as the officers encountered numerous, and to 'them' what 'appeared' to be 'bad guys' with guns still in hand through-out the store. According to a police spokesman, the current count of those shot during the initial incident is approximately twenty-three, with an additional six shot as a result of police gunfire, with what right now stands at about nine confirmed as deceased. The toll will no doubt go higher as the scene has not been totally cleared yet.
What a horrible sight folks! Sometimes when we hear news of someone 'wounded' by gunfire, we think of not much more than a little hole that a band-aide will fix, or maybe just a 'wing' shot. But let me put that notion to sleep once and for all folks! Bullets are simply missiles straight from hell! I saw shredded, and severed limbs, bodies blown open with guts laying on the floor, heads exploded, and brains scattered about like mush. Women, and children dead, and dying! The term 'wounded by gunfire' takes on a whole new 'meaning' when seen in real 'life and death' incidents. There's no such thing as a John Wayne 'fleshwound' from 'real' bullets! The NRA claims that "Guns do not 'kill' people", but 'Bullets' certainly do!
I have just now spoken with my source who tells me the following; It appears that initially, a happy gun totting customer accidentally dropped his pistol while retrieving his wallet in the check-out line, the pistol discharged upon hitting the floor, the bullet of which struck the customer in front of this particular gun totter. As he picked up his gun, the wounded customer, who thought this was a 'robbery' in progress, drew his Own gun firing at the owner of that gun striking a customer behind him. This initiated even more customers to draw their own guns who began firing at anyone else holding a gun that they suspected of being a 'bad guy'. Then, when the police arrived, they not then knowing the circumstances of the initial shooting, they encountered numerous individuals with guns in hand, and whom the police could only suppose were 'bad guys' with guns, in a still fluid situation, where-upon in defence of themselves, and to rescue innocent victims, they took immediate lethal action to end threats posed by these armed and dangerous, seemingly 'bad guys' with guns, which inadvertently added to the carnage, and casualty toll.
This was a horrible, and avoidable, and totally senseless tragedy that certainly won't be the last, in our newly expanded gun loving, gun totting society where the NRA is firmly in control of Congress, and of misguided Republicans across America who have convinced otherwise sane Americans that the best way to 'stop a good guy with a gun, is a 'good guy' with a gun'.
:/ :/
So, you’re a good guy with a gun. I get it. I’ve seen the bumper sticker, heard the slogan a million times, and I even used to be one of you. I’m retired military, was an expert marksman, and was even awarded the Bronze Schützenschnur by the German army.
patheos.com|By Benjamin L. Corey
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