'Of course, as we all 'know', and I'll just keep saying it until the 'truth' actually comes out, "Nobody briefed or told me, @VP Pence, or Chief of Staff @MarkMeadows about the so-called attacks on our troops in Afghanistan by Russians," really, I'm not kidding! Remember when I said that, "I try to be truthful when I can"? Trust me on this one folks, I'm pretty sure that I'm telling the 'truth', as I know it, this time. Sure, there's been one or two times in the last four years where I've had to lie, mostly in the name of 'national security' of course, but those don't really count, do they? This time though, it's different! 'Really' different.
"Everybody denying it"! 'Everybody, I tell you, "everybody"! My BFF Vlad, 'The Nation Builder', great family guy, loved by all his subjects, tells me that it's all one big "hoax", nothing to worry about. I gotta believe him! He's never lied to me, much, before. Really. If he say's it ain't so, then that's good enough for me. And there's other 'everybody's' too. VP pence say's it's a lie. Barr say's it's a lie. McConnell say's it's a lie. Every Republican say's so. All my cult followers say so, and boy do they ever know a lie when they hear one! And, lets see now, there's Jarrod, my hottie wife, my whole family actually, well, except for my niece that's trying to ruin me with her lying book. See ya in court, blabber mouth!
Anyway, I didn't ever know about this bounty thing. Why didn't someone tell me!??? How could I 'possibly' not ever know about this? I mean how?? I'm the 'president, right!? Shouldn't I be aware of these things? Isn't that my sworn duty as 'president'? Can you believe it? Of all the people to not know of something as serious as this! I'm the 'last' to know. What are the chances of that? I mean, really!? Unbelievable! I bet every American is just as 'surprised' as I, myself am. Right? Right?' :/
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"Everybody denying it"! 'Everybody, I tell you, "everybody"! My BFF Vlad, 'The Nation Builder', great family guy, loved by all his subjects, tells me that it's all one big "hoax", nothing to worry about. I gotta believe him! He's never lied to me, much, before. Really. If he say's it ain't so, then that's good enough for me. And there's other 'everybody's' too. VP pence say's it's a lie. Barr say's it's a lie. McConnell say's it's a lie. Every Republican say's so. All my cult followers say so, and boy do they ever know a lie when they hear one! And, lets see now, there's Jarrod, my hottie wife, my whole family actually, well, except for my niece that's trying to ruin me with her lying book. See ya in court, blabber mouth!
Anyway, I didn't ever know about this bounty thing. Why didn't someone tell me!??? How could I 'possibly' not ever know about this? I mean how?? I'm the 'president, right!? Shouldn't I be aware of these things? Isn't that my sworn duty as 'president'? Can you believe it? Of all the people to not know of something as serious as this! I'm the 'last' to know. What are the chances of that? I mean, really!? Unbelievable! I bet every American is just as 'surprised' as I, myself am. Right? Right?' :/
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