'Ask Buddy', Installation Number 14
Dear, Buddy,
I am in a total state of confusion! You are my only hope of saving my relationship with my 'best friend', whose name, coincidentally is also 'Buddy', no doubt purely 'coincidental'.
Here, let me start at the beginning....
Recently, during a crushing loss at a Chess game, the last of a long series of humiliating losses, and through keen observation, but mostly luck, I discovered that my Border Collie, 'Buddy', was cheating in order to win! Somehow, no doubt through slight of paw, he always had two (2) Queens on the board.!!
One, the usual Queen, and the other disguised as a lowly Pawn! Can you believe that!? My 'best friend' already! And now, I'm quite certain that he won by 'cheat' all the other games where I was crushed and devastated each time, and all the while, he 'howled' with delight. I have little doubt now that had he not cheated, I could have won at least half of those games!
Now, I pretended to not notice, and did not call my discovery to his attention. Yet. As you well know, Border Collies can be very demanding, and much bossy with the, 'go this way, go that way, stop it, enough already, close the gate, yap, yap, yap', all the time. Thus, one should not raise their hackle by chastising them out of hand. The bottom line though is I'd like to at least win a 'few' games without being cheated on! I think that's not too much to ask. Right Buddy? I mean, come on!, he should throw 'me' a boner once in a while! I'm almost sorry I allowed him to teach me how to play in the first place!
My question is; how should I breech the subject with 'Buddy', and still remain 'best friends?
'Throw Me A Bone', In L.A.
Dear, Buddy,
I am in a total state of confusion! You are my only hope of saving my relationship with my 'best friend', whose name, coincidentally is also 'Buddy', no doubt purely 'coincidental'.
Here, let me start at the beginning....
Recently, during a crushing loss at a Chess game, the last of a long series of humiliating losses, and through keen observation, but mostly luck, I discovered that my Border Collie, 'Buddy', was cheating in order to win! Somehow, no doubt through slight of paw, he always had two (2) Queens on the board.!!
One, the usual Queen, and the other disguised as a lowly Pawn! Can you believe that!? My 'best friend' already! And now, I'm quite certain that he won by 'cheat' all the other games where I was crushed and devastated each time, and all the while, he 'howled' with delight. I have little doubt now that had he not cheated, I could have won at least half of those games! Now, I pretended to not notice, and did not call my discovery to his attention. Yet. As you well know, Border Collies can be very demanding, and much bossy with the, 'go this way, go that way, stop it, enough already, close the gate, yap, yap, yap', all the time. Thus, one should not raise their hackle by chastising them out of hand. The bottom line though is I'd like to at least win a 'few' games without being cheated on! I think that's not too much to ask. Right Buddy? I mean, come on!, he should throw 'me' a boner once in a while! I'm almost sorry I allowed him to teach me how to play in the first place!
My question is; how should I breech the subject with 'Buddy', and still remain 'best friends?
'Throw Me A Bone', In L.A.
Dear 'Boner',
Oh dear! Tread lightly here! You have entered 'no mans land' where doggie 'mines' could appear underfoot in less than a moments notice. Many a favorite shoe has been rendered totally useless because of such carelessness.
First, get down on the floor with 'Buddy', but caution, do not engage in a losing 'stare down' contest with him. Then, in his own Scottish dialect, explain how you appreciate yours and his friendship status, compliment him on his shiny coat, his pearly whites, offer a few favorite treats, lick his paws but don't over-do it, and tell him what a 'good boy' he is.
Then, last but not least, hug him up, throw some tennis balls, take him for a car ride, but Do Not accuse him of cheating! Don't dare go there! Let it go, it's just a Border Collie thing.
Lastly, 'up' your chess game. If you must cheat to win, by all means do not let him catch you at it!! They might 'forgive', but they never 'forget'. No matter what you do though, know that your pitiful cause is a lost one from the beginning.
Above all, remember that the 'Border Collie' is always in charge, and he simply allows 'you' to be a 'best friend' bystander in their bossy little world. Adapt, and move along.
Good luck, and may the dog spirits be with you.
Oh dear! Tread lightly here! You have entered 'no mans land' where doggie 'mines' could appear underfoot in less than a moments notice. Many a favorite shoe has been rendered totally useless because of such carelessness.
First, get down on the floor with 'Buddy', but caution, do not engage in a losing 'stare down' contest with him. Then, in his own Scottish dialect, explain how you appreciate yours and his friendship status, compliment him on his shiny coat, his pearly whites, offer a few favorite treats, lick his paws but don't over-do it, and tell him what a 'good boy' he is.
Then, last but not least, hug him up, throw some tennis balls, take him for a car ride, but Do Not accuse him of cheating! Don't dare go there! Let it go, it's just a Border Collie thing.
Lastly, 'up' your chess game. If you must cheat to win, by all means do not let him catch you at it!! They might 'forgive', but they never 'forget'. No matter what you do though, know that your pitiful cause is a lost one from the beginning.
Above all, remember that the 'Border Collie' is always in charge, and he simply allows 'you' to be a 'best friend' bystander in their bossy little world. Adapt, and move along.
Good luck, and may the dog spirits be with you.
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