'OH man! Would you look at that! 50%! For those of you with smaller brains than mine,That's 'Fifty' percent already! That means that over half of all Americans love me, respect me, believe everything I say, and 'approve' of every single thing I tweet! You can't beat that folks! Great numbers! Huge numbers! You can't argue with a rating of 75%! Next week it'll be even bigger! No President in history has had those 'unbelievable' numbers! Never! Not even Lincoln! Not even my hero Robert E Lee! But then they weren't Me, were they?
Hey, did you spy me at Bush's funeral? I tried to just blend into the crowd. They had begged me to give him a 'fitting' eulogy, in fact they offered to vote for me next time. But, I'm a humble kind of a guy, and after all, his funeral wasn't even about me, me, me, was it? So I told them, thanks, but no thanks, just try and make it without a great speech from me. They cried, and pleaded like the weak people they are, but being the stronger man-child, I demurred, preferring to be the last, but hardly the least, to enter, to walk the royal strut with my 'queen' slightly to my rear as we made our grand entrance. And Then! To my utter disgust, discovered that we were forced to actually sit right next to that illegal refugee Obama! If I find out who arraigned the seating I will fire them so fast!! But did you see me, well how could you not, as I sat, well, actually 'slouched' in my best 'pouting' posture, right up front of everyone else in the world! Oh, I sang songs, read scripture, tapped my toes, fidgeted with my fingers, tried to look interested and awake, yet Presidentially 'sad' as decorum would dictate, and had one great time of it all. Really. I did. Not. Great funeral, just glad it wasn't my own. My approval rating will hit the sky after this! I really know how to work a crowd! That whole crowd had their eyes on me. Huge approval! Of course my own funeral will draw crowds a thousand times the numbers as this little meager event managed to do. The whole world will stop for weeks on end celebrating, dancing, singing, 'pretending' to be happy. But, that's just me, me, me. Whoaaa! Look at that! Already 85%! Where will it end!?'
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Hey, did you spy me at Bush's funeral? I tried to just blend into the crowd. They had begged me to give him a 'fitting' eulogy, in fact they offered to vote for me next time. But, I'm a humble kind of a guy, and after all, his funeral wasn't even about me, me, me, was it? So I told them, thanks, but no thanks, just try and make it without a great speech from me. They cried, and pleaded like the weak people they are, but being the stronger man-child, I demurred, preferring to be the last, but hardly the least, to enter, to walk the royal strut with my 'queen' slightly to my rear as we made our grand entrance. And Then! To my utter disgust, discovered that we were forced to actually sit right next to that illegal refugee Obama! If I find out who arraigned the seating I will fire them so fast!! But did you see me, well how could you not, as I sat, well, actually 'slouched' in my best 'pouting' posture, right up front of everyone else in the world! Oh, I sang songs, read scripture, tapped my toes, fidgeted with my fingers, tried to look interested and awake, yet Presidentially 'sad' as decorum would dictate, and had one great time of it all. Really. I did. Not. Great funeral, just glad it wasn't my own. My approval rating will hit the sky after this! I really know how to work a crowd! That whole crowd had their eyes on me. Huge approval! Of course my own funeral will draw crowds a thousand times the numbers as this little meager event managed to do. The whole world will stop for weeks on end celebrating, dancing, singing, 'pretending' to be happy. But, that's just me, me, me. Whoaaa! Look at that! Already 85%! Where will it end!?'
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