Wednesday, May 16, 2018

"Wickedness", Says Pat

'Yes, I said 'wicked, wicked, wicked'! And I'm not talking about just myself here. There's more "wickedness" out there than me, myself, and I! "We live in a world of wickedness", and the devil is lurking around every corner with atheists tucked in his back pocket just waiting to be hurled at some innocent, god fearing, unsuspecting christian! Oh dear lord in that 10 carat gold plated heaven, I wish I could say it ain't so, but we faithful evangelicals 'know' it is so. I've seen the devil lurking even in my own foil lined closet many times, and just as many times I've cast him out. And I can say this to all those pitiful, grieving moms out there who have carelessly lost a child to our dear lords ultimate wrath, 'prayers'. Moms, did you know that our dear god in heaven has a 'plan'? He does! And you know what? Praise the lord, He has a 'plan' for killing your children. He does! And oh, what a 'plan' it is! You see, there's a great big need for cherubs in heaven. That's because when they graduate from cherub school, they go on to being angels, and those angel fly down to Earth where they are on a scouting mission for god, looking for suitable candidates to be killed and taken up to heaven. "These things happen. We live in a world of wickedness. And God does not necessarily spare us from these things." God has his wiley ways. Remember when he said, 'Vengence is mine..'? Well, there you have it, that explains it all in a nut shell, that's all you need to know, ask no more silly questions. You don't want him to put you on his 'donor' list do you?
Now, to that mom with the 15 year old son that god lovingly smited, stop the whining already, go get yourself another son, and get over it! God took him away from you to prevent him from becoming one of those horrible unbelieving Atheists. And now he's happy in heaven attending angel school. Maybe you'll see him floating around here on Earth someday. Remember to look both ways before you cross those tracks! What a joy that will be for you! That's right! Now would you be able to live with yourself if your son grew up to be one of those god hating atheist creatures? No, you surely wouldn't. I've seen it happen! Not a pretty sight. Wouldn't you rather he be happy being an angel? Sure you would, because you're a good mom, and you love the good lord, don't you. And you 'know' better than to question his reasons don't you? I bet you have some other children you'd like to keep around for a while, don't you. Just let this little insignificant incident be a learning lesson. Now get out there and be a good christian, and a good mom, just like god wants you to be. Praise the lord and pass the plate!'. ;)




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Christian love: Televangelist Pat Robertson tells a grieving mother that God let her teen son die to prevent him from becoming an atheist.
patheos.com


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