Friday, May 18, 2018

What!? I Was Suppose To Report A Payoff To A Whore!?

'Oh craps! Was I supposed to report this minute sum of 'pocket change', last year? Really? Unbelievable! Well, we all know that in addition to being a very busy President, I'm also a very busy behind the scenes 'businessman'. And as such, I have a horde of book keepers, managers, lawyers, and wait staff taking care of my financial matters. Obviously someone had dropped the ball here and made a small error by not taking care of this extremely unimportant payment to my very personal attorney. This of course was a simple reimbursement to my then trusted personal attorney turned traitor. Nothing more. Really. Nothing to see here, move along folks, move along. This is a personal matter that does not concern the rest of America. I did not tell a lie. I never had 'real' sex with that woman. I don't even 'know' her. Whoever 'her' is. This is really no big deal folks, this happens to wealthy people all the time. I'm surprised that anyone is even paying attention to this at all. But in the interest of 'transparency', something that I strive to practice religiously, I will take the heat for this no nothing mistake. As for my earlier protestation of any knowledge about this small matter, I was simply sure that it had been taken care of my one of my army of minders. Just found out about this little mistake very recently, and as soon as I was made aware of it I immediately mitigated it. My bad. My mistake for trusting people who get paid big bucks to look out for me, and keep me out of trouble. I can assure you they will hear the words 'you're fired' before the sun sets in sunny Florida. Well, that should settle this go nowhere bookkeeping mistake. Now I must get busy doing great Presidential stuff as usual, so that I can win that snappy Nobel Peace Prize. It's in the bag! Obama, eat your immigrant heart out! Hey Hillary, check out my 'numbers'! Huge! Incredible! Un-heard of! Hard to believe! But "that's why I'm President and you're not"! My base still loves me no matter what crime I commit. I'm above the law! Can't be indicted! Hall pass! I'm whatcha might call 'un-touchable'!'



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Mr. Trump’s financial disclosure included a payment made to his personal attorney, Michael D. Cohen, who has said he paid a porn star who claimed an affair with Mr.…
nytimes.com

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