'Dear 'Self', after a very, very, extensive, and need I mention 'thorough', physical, and mental examination (consisting of an extremely ridged 3rd grade mental test), I hereby proclaim that, in my extensive business profession, I have never tested anyone living or not, that is as healthy, considering that you are obese in all places, lethargically challenged, overwhelmed with a fast food 'diet', and drowning in a moral vacuum, as you, yourself, and I most assuredly are. You are the very epitome of a 'healthy' carcass of humanity, bar none. Furthermore, it is my un-biased professional opinion that men 60 years your junior would not measure up to your vigor and sexual drive, a drive that leaves weaker men wanting for more, and 'women of the night' begging for less. More than that, your test results from the brain sapping 3rd grade 'Mental Exam', shows that you scored way, way off the chart, even above and beyond what would be expected of an eight year old child. Incredible numbers! Un-believable! Huge!
This quasi 'medical' report written in my own hand, will convince the whole world of your manly stature, your un-tiring vigor, your mighty 'woman "pussy" grabbing' strength, your capacity to outsmart those of lesser intellect, your ability to conjure up a story and the ability to stick to it even in the overwhelming face of the truth. You, Mr. 'Self' are 'The Man', and women are glad of it. Now, go forth with this self authored 'swagger stick', and flail the hell out of your detractors, and un-believers alike!
Signed, Me, Myself, and I.'
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This quasi 'medical' report written in my own hand, will convince the whole world of your manly stature, your un-tiring vigor, your mighty 'woman "pussy" grabbing' strength, your capacity to outsmart those of lesser intellect, your ability to conjure up a story and the ability to stick to it even in the overwhelming face of the truth. You, Mr. 'Self' are 'The Man', and women are glad of it. Now, go forth with this self authored 'swagger stick', and flail the hell out of your detractors, and un-believers alike!
Signed, Me, Myself, and I.'
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