' For cryin' out loud, we didn't even get to go on a 'honeymoon! Trump, my almost lover, what happened to us? You 'promised' me so much, you gave all the right 'signals' I thought we would be BFF-FWB's forever! And now look! I can't even call you in the wee hours of the morn anymore. Remember all those good time we used to share. The calls, the secret meetings, the smell of your cheap 'Dollar Store' cologne on my collar, the way your hottie wifey would sneak side glances at my buffed abs, your spoiled, wormy little son calling me all the time trying to set up secret squirrel stuff. Remember that time we shook manly (mine) hands, my big ones crushing your girlie little fingers like potato chips. Remember that time I looked into your stupid, empty, lying eyes and made you blink first. Oh, those were the good ol' days for sure! How honored you must have felt in my manly presence. Remember how I brushed up against your hottie wife that time when you weren't looking. Ha! Didn't know about that one did you?
And here I thought you had learned something from me about being a good 'dictator'. Wrong! You are more like the 'first three' letters of that word. You just didn't pay attention did you? You never will Donnie boy! Never will. As long as you only pay attention to yourself, there's no much hope for you. You wanted to be so much like me, your hero, and yet you simply don't have what it takes. And now we're mad at one another all because you don't play with others well. An 'almost lovers' spat. You can't even control your own "Fake News" media. And now you have your Own "Fake News" station you are calling "REAL News". Funny guy. I tried to show you how to muzzle the "Fake News" media, but no, you didn't listen to my instructions. They push your little girlie self around like an unwanted stepchild.
You have served your pathetic service to me Donnie boy, and now I must 'divorce' you from me. Now, I'll have to go it alone."Sad, so sad" as you like to mutter. America has let me down! Way down! I mean, so down that down looks like up to me. And to think that I was prepared to offer you honorary citizen of Ruska! It's your loss goldilocks. By the way, as part of our 'divorce' decree I'm kicking 560 of your 'spies' out of my country, and I am filing for huge monetary settlement so that I can continue living the high life that your 'business', and companionship afforded me. You, you, looser you!'
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And here I thought you had learned something from me about being a good 'dictator'. Wrong! You are more like the 'first three' letters of that word. You just didn't pay attention did you? You never will Donnie boy! Never will. As long as you only pay attention to yourself, there's no much hope for you. You wanted to be so much like me, your hero, and yet you simply don't have what it takes. And now we're mad at one another all because you don't play with others well. An 'almost lovers' spat. You can't even control your own "Fake News" media. And now you have your Own "Fake News" station you are calling "REAL News". Funny guy. I tried to show you how to muzzle the "Fake News" media, but no, you didn't listen to my instructions. They push your little girlie self around like an unwanted stepchild.
You have served your pathetic service to me Donnie boy, and now I must 'divorce' you from me. Now, I'll have to go it alone."Sad, so sad" as you like to mutter. America has let me down! Way down! I mean, so down that down looks like up to me. And to think that I was prepared to offer you honorary citizen of Ruska! It's your loss goldilocks. By the way, as part of our 'divorce' decree I'm kicking 560 of your 'spies' out of my country, and I am filing for huge monetary settlement so that I can continue living the high life that your 'business', and companionship afforded me. You, you, looser you!'
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