'Fake News"! Everything is fake news I tell you, fake news! How do they get away with this crap!? I am the only person that Americans and the whole world can trust! 'My' news is the real 'news'. Don't listen to anyone but Me, Myself, and I! No one is as honest, and open, and transparent as I am. I mean, just look at me! You can see right through me! As your 'King', my rule is supreme, and as such it is against my very own rules that I not tell a lie to my subjects...that is unless I have to, which I have to a whole lot, but only because I must protect my loyal subjects from the 'truth' in order to save them from themselves. So, everything else you might hear is "fake news".
In order to destroy the "fake news" media outlets which always make me look very, very bad, which by the way is My job, I will be hosting a really big 'social media event' at my castle where I will be sucked up to, patted on my sumptuous back, and praised as the best democratic, quasi dictator, the world has ever known. “A big subject today at the White House Social Media Summit will be the tremendous dishonesty, bias, discrimination and suppression practiced by certain companies. We will not let them get away with it much longer. The Fake News Media will also be there, but for a limited period.” I have invited only those whom I can trust to tell the 'truth', the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Don't you just hate the lying 'press'? Well, I sure do! And you know what? I'm gonna make sure they are stopped from publishing bad stuff, most of it true of course, about me and my entitled royal family. “When I ultimately leave office in six years, or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding), they will quickly go out of business for lack of credibility, or approval, from the public. That’s why they will all be Endorsing me at some point, one way or the other.”
Everyone in America just loves to love me. Millions of people line up at my events to praise and idolize me. They know greatness when they see it, and I am the 'greatest' president America has ever had the good fortune to have elected as their 'King'. My dynasty will 'rule' America for decades, and decades to come. How very 'lucky' for America, which as you can plainly 'see', I am making "great again". Remember, 'honesty' is my personal policy. Really. I'm not kidding. I'm telling the 'truth' now. Honest.'
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In order to destroy the "fake news" media outlets which always make me look very, very bad, which by the way is My job, I will be hosting a really big 'social media event' at my castle where I will be sucked up to, patted on my sumptuous back, and praised as the best democratic, quasi dictator, the world has ever known. “A big subject today at the White House Social Media Summit will be the tremendous dishonesty, bias, discrimination and suppression practiced by certain companies. We will not let them get away with it much longer. The Fake News Media will also be there, but for a limited period.” I have invited only those whom I can trust to tell the 'truth', the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Don't you just hate the lying 'press'? Well, I sure do! And you know what? I'm gonna make sure they are stopped from publishing bad stuff, most of it true of course, about me and my entitled royal family. “When I ultimately leave office in six years, or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding), they will quickly go out of business for lack of credibility, or approval, from the public. That’s why they will all be Endorsing me at some point, one way or the other.”
Everyone in America just loves to love me. Millions of people line up at my events to praise and idolize me. They know greatness when they see it, and I am the 'greatest' president America has ever had the good fortune to have elected as their 'King'. My dynasty will 'rule' America for decades, and decades to come. How very 'lucky' for America, which as you can plainly 'see', I am making "great again". Remember, 'honesty' is my personal policy. Really. I'm not kidding. I'm telling the 'truth' now. Honest.'
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