'OMG! WaaaaaWaaaaaWaa! Nobody likes me, nobody loves me, I'm gonna go eat a frog! Meanies, meanieweenies everywhere just pick on me all the doggone time. Why do they do this? Why do people "treat" me "worse" than dirt!? I mean, what have I 'done' to be "treated" so "unfairly"? Was it 'something' I said? Am I 'really' so bad? Waaaaaa! Did I treat someone badly? Do I deserve such meanness? I'm a nice guy, a 'great' guy if you believe my Almost lover, BFF Vlad, 'the nation builder', Putin. 'Nobody' in Russia, that lives to tell, talks bad things about Him. Honest guy, Vlad. Wonderful 'Statesman', Russians just adore him. They shower him with love and 'respect'. I get none of that from Americans! Terrible people! Disgusting! Vlad's gonna bail me out of this little 'secret sharing' thing that the dems are trying to railroad me with. He has the tapes from our meeting. Hey, I didn't know he was actually 'taping' it! Smart guy! Guess what! Now I have a new BFF in Turkey! I just love despotic dictators! We have so much in common! I still can't figure out why people, especially those lying, disgusting, sorry excuses for humans, 'reporters', treat me so badly. Waaaaaa! Why are they 'allowed' to print anything they want to about me? What kind of Country 'is' this? My 'bunkie' Stevie, and I are gonna re-write this so-called Constitution! It's a broken antique! It's gotta go! Poorly written! 'My' name's not even mentioned in it! Waaaa! Should be a law against saying 'bad' things about me! Must make a list of 'laws' to protect myself from 'truth' seekers. Horrible people! Fake news 'reporters'! Especially the Women ones! Liars! I just don't get it! Why can't people leave me alone! No politician "has been treated worse or more unfairly than me"! Waaaa! What's with that? WaaaWaaaaaa!' 
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