'Hey look, I almost know what I'm talking about here because as everyone 'knows', I almost served in the military myself one time, you know...back 'then'. But unfortunately, a horribly serious medical condition with my 'spine' prevented my serving my country. So as an 'almost', I can truthfully lay claim to knowing more about military stuff than all my generals combined. They only wish they knew as much as I do. In fact, I've Forgotten more about military stuff than they even currently think they know. But that's just me and my 'big brain'. I'm a pretty fart, errr..'smart' guy, that is. That's why I'm President, and they aren't.
Now, about these boats that have airplanes on them. Actually, I have absolutely no clue as to how they get those airplanes in the air in the first place. But I guess they do, they gotta get them off somehow. Apparently they use a lot of steam to make them just fly right off those big boats. And here, I always thought they had jet motors like my really big airplane that America gave me to use for my golfing trips. Man, those things are loud! But now, as I 'understand' it, they use 'steam motors' on military planes. How about that!! I bet they are real quite. But get this, I was talking, on the sly, with a navy guy that works on one of those airplane boats. Not sure what his job is there, something about cafeteria manager, or something, actually I don't even know his name, whatever, it doesn't matter because he told me he's a really big expert on 'steamy stuff', and how to get airplanes off those boats. Anyway, "You know, they were saying — one of the folks said, 'No, the electric works faster. But, sir, we can only get the plane there every couple of minutes,' " "So, really, what they did was wrong." So, according to my expert 'source', now they want to use some sort of 'electric' motors instead of 'steam' motors on those planes. Can't they just leave well enough alone!? If 'steam' motors have always worked really good, then why change horses in the middle of the ocean?? I'm glad I had a chat with that navy guy, whoever he was, no notes were taken, he was a 'real' person, not someone I made up. Who does That?? Like I said, I don't know 'who' he was, subpoena me if you want to but I'm sticking to my story. Well, guess what I'm gonna do about that! "I think I’m going to put an order," "When we build a new aircraft carrier, we’re going to use steam. I’m going to just put out an order: We’re going to use steam. We don’t need — we don’t need that extra speed." "Steam’s only worked for about 65 years perfectly", we don't need no stinkin' 'electric' motors! Besides all that, 'steam' is cheaper than 'electric anyway. All you need is really hot water to make steam. Lots of water in the ocean, all around those boats, everywhere! Can't do that with electricity! No electricity out on the ocean. So you see, you have to admit that I make 'perfectly' good sense here, actually, I always do but you can be sure that there's 'someone' out there that will try and make a really big deal out of this, and claim that I have no idea what I'm talking about. Come on folks! Who in their right mind would actually 'believe' that crap? I mean, is that totally bat crap crazy, or is it just me?'
;) ;)
