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Welcome to yet Another Breaking 'News' story brought straight to your living rooms by none other than 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatirical'News') Station!
'A Tree Fell, But No One Heard It'
If you Still live in the 'Tar Heel' State of North Carolina, which was recently purchased for 'chicken feed' by Tyson Foods (as in Poultry), which shares the border with the state of 'The Price of Doing 'Business', then you have no doubt heard or read, or perhaps your Turkey flock has Warned you of a 'snitch' in their midst, about that spiffy new 'AG-Gag' law, that the N.C. Senate passed, and which was rammed through their chicken grinders by their very Own, Ag Guru Senator Brent Jackson (BJ). Jackson, a mega farmer himself has it seems, 'close' ties to just about everything, and Everyone, that involves N.C. Agriculture so it is no big surprise that he would foot an 'Ag-Gag' law for the state that the Agricultural Industry now 'owns'. Well, and wouldn't you Know, our intreprid, and fearless 'Reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) has leaped into the chicken poo fray with both feet, and as if by magic found the good senator up to his knees in poo of his own making. Let's listen in and see what excrement Buddy can squeeze out of the king of chicken poo (AKA 'liquid fertilizer).
BB: Senator Jackson (BJ), you seem to have your fingers in just about everything Agricultural in the state of North Carolina, and of course including Being a farmer, owning a huge Liquid Fertilizer company among other interests. Do you ever feel that perhaps you have more than a little 'Conflict of Interest' sponsoring an 'Ag-gag' law that not only 'protects' Other farmers, but including yourself as well?
BJ: I think I'll plead the 5th Amendment on that one, Buddyboy.
BB: So, you sponsored a 'law' that protects you Yourself, and now you hide behind the 5th Amendment to protect yourself from a question?
BJ: You got my 'answer' to your question, Next.
BB: Did Tyson Foods have any input as to your decision to proffer this Ag-Gag bill?
BJ: You'd have to ask Them. I only speak for All the citizens of North Carolina.
BB: Do you mean Every single person in North Carolina, or perhaps just the Poultry and Meat Industry?
BJ: I speak for Every person here, chickens don't vote, people do, and they voted me into office.
BB: Was there a referendom where the citizens of North Carolina had a chance to Actually Vote for or against your Ag-Gag bill?
BJ: They don't Need to Vote on it, I 'know' what they 'want' already.
BB: But how can you "know" what Every citizen might "want", unless they have a chance to 'voice' their opinion by voting on an issue that could affect them adversly?
BJ: There's nothing adverse about my Bill. It protects Any business from snoops that would try to make them look bad. Business owners can look after themselves and 'police' themselves better With this law. We don't need snitches, and snoops with camers taking pictures of private industry as they go about their honest days work.
BB: Oh, I see. So, if we put the 'Fox' in charge of the 'hen house' that makes it better than having a 'guard' to keep the fox out? And when you say "business owners" aren't you referring to the Poultry and Meat Industry as a whole?
BJ: I'm talking about Any business owner in the state. Even the Better Business Bureau is happy with my Bill.
BB: Why are 'business owners', particullary the commercial poultry and other Commercial animal growers so afraid of the public finding out how they might operate, good or bad, on their 'farms'?
BJ: It's Their private property, and what they do or don't do there is no ones business but their Own. These snooping 'animal rights' fanatics sneak in there pretending to be employees, then they start videoing everything that goes on. They give the industry a bad name. My Bill now prevents them from doing it.
BB: If they're not doing anything Wrong, and if they're operating within the law, it seems they would have nothing to Hide from the public in the First place. After all, it's the 'Public' that buys their products. Shouldn't the Public have the right to know how their 'product' is 'produced', and under what conditions?
BJ: They all Are within the law. They have Nothing to hide.
BB: I guess you've seen some of the incredible undercover videos of some of these businesses? Are the actions depicted in those videos what you would consider 'with-in the law'? And how would Anyone Ever know what actually often occurs if not for the evidence shown in the videos, and for someone to step foreward to disclose those actions? Isn't this Now sorta like 'outta sight-Outta-mind'. Like that tree that falls in the forest does it make a sound if no one's around to 'hear' it?
BJ: Those 'videos' were done illegally, and can't be used as evidence. If a producer finds out that an employee breaks the law they'll be fired. If a snooper now takes a videos 'undercover', he gets sued, it's that simple. The industry will police ThemSelves and they will clean up their act. But we gotta keep these snoopers out.
BB: So, it sounds like the "snoopers" cause the problems by videoing the things they see going on...and Now without the "snoopers' being Able to video these violations, those violations will cease to happen???
BJ: Exactly.
BB: Hmmm....goes right back to the 'tree in the forest' thing. And, If no one can See evil, or Hear evil, they certainly cannot Speak of the evil.
BJ: (kicking at a pile of turkey poo, scratching his head, no comment)
BB: Well, now lets imagine that a bonified Employee of one of these Animal Producers actually Wittnesses a violation of law. Who does he tell about it?
BJ: He tells the management about it, not some stupid newspaper.
BB: Would it be wise for that incredibly Brave, or just as dumb, employee to already have another Job lined up? Do you think he would still be employeed there after that little stunt, And not be Blackballed from any Other industry afterwards?
BJ: (silence....more silence...looking around...)
BB: Hmmm...I think I just heard a 'Tree fall'.
BJ: What...I didn't hear a thing.
BB: Senator, I believe you. Now, as I understand it, your Ag-Gag Bill also covers businesses that actually have little or No connection to the Agriculture Industry, such as Nursing Homes for the Elderly, Automobile Repair Shops, Bakeries, Hotels, and, well, just about every business that has Nothing to Do with the Ag Industry, even Grocery Stores. How did That happen?
BJ: The way I see it, Every business has the right to operate unmolested by snooping reporters or undercover snitches or whistleblowers. My Bill protects them.
BB: Some might 'say' that you have broadened your Voter base with this what seems like a personal crusade on your part, not to mention a Vested interest. What would you say to those people?
BJ: Mind your Own business.
BB: Wouldn't you 'think' that the public would want to Know what goes on in, say, a Nursing Home, which as you Know is rife with unsavorey practices? With your Ag-Gag bill, how will we know about abuses with-in that Industry when their Employees who are already being paid a minimum or less wage, are afraid to speak up if they witness violations?
BJ: I would say to them, don't be afraid, speak up, complain to the management, They will correct the 'problem'. These places will be better able to police themselves without having to worry about whistleblowers running to the news media and making the business look bad.
BB: So, you're not concerned that the "management" in that case would simply see the concerned Employee as their "problem", and so just get rid of the employee, and "problem" solved. I think we're back to the 'See no Evil, Hear no evil' thing. What protects the concerned employee here?
BJ: The management will protect the employee and correct the problems himself.
BB: Ahhhh....don't look Now, but there's a 'Fox in your Henhouse' Senator. Have you Always had this seemingly Disconnect with Reality? Do you Really have more concern about the 'Industry', yet little or None about the Employee, who without, the 'Industry' would be for naught?
BJ: I care about Everyone, Every Voter, that's my Job. If I 'protect' the Industry, That 'protects' the employee in turn. It's very simple. Even I understand it.
BB: Allllright then. It looks like your snappy little Ag-Gag Bill is being challenged by a lot of groups that feel this Bill is overbroad, far reaching, and not a little arbitrary. What do you say to those groups?
BJ: They're a bunch of crybaby, bleeding heart animal rights fanatics! They don't stand a chance against Me. I have more Power in the Senate that God himself. I didn't work my way into being in charge of all these Agricultural Commities for Nothing you know. These whiney groups will get Nowhere, go Nowhere, and will look stupid in the end. The North Carolina Senate 'works' for Me, they know that without Me, They would not be where they are today. I AM the Senate, they don't 'vote' on, or even Think about, Anything that concerns Agreculture in This State, unless they talk to Me first. Look, I gotta go now, I'm up to my butt in poop.
BB: Yep, I'd have to agree with you on That one Senator, the 'poop' Is getting pretty Deep in here. Thank you for the 'enlightenment', and you might want to look into that little 'Conflict Of Interest' thing.
And so it goes. We have waded deep into the poop world of this fine selfless Senator, who's Only concern is Not for himself or his Own mega Ag Business, but the safety and welfare of his happy voters...er.. Citizens that is, of the State of North Carolina, a state it seems, bought and paid for by the various agricultural industries who happily call This state their Own.
Where this poop saga ends no one knows, but it Is clear just exactly who this Ag-Gag bill benifits, and those who will 'profit' from it's passing in the Senate, 'owned' by none other than his Rightious Highness, the Ag Guru of North Carolina, Senator Brent Jackson.
Join us again, somewhere in the near future no doubt, when our nerves of steel, boundless of energy, wise beyond description, 'News' Reporter Extraordinar', BuddyBlack brings our attention to Another 'Tree, falling in the woods'.
Welcome to yet Another Breaking 'News' story brought straight to your living rooms by none other than 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatirical'News') Station!
'A Tree Fell, But No One Heard It'
If you Still live in the 'Tar Heel' State of North Carolina, which was recently purchased for 'chicken feed' by Tyson Foods (as in Poultry), which shares the border with the state of 'The Price of Doing 'Business', then you have no doubt heard or read, or perhaps your Turkey flock has Warned you of a 'snitch' in their midst, about that spiffy new 'AG-Gag' law, that the N.C. Senate passed, and which was rammed through their chicken grinders by their very Own, Ag Guru Senator Brent Jackson (BJ). Jackson, a mega farmer himself has it seems, 'close' ties to just about everything, and Everyone, that involves N.C. Agriculture so it is no big surprise that he would foot an 'Ag-Gag' law for the state that the Agricultural Industry now 'owns'. Well, and wouldn't you Know, our intreprid, and fearless 'Reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) has leaped into the chicken poo fray with both feet, and as if by magic found the good senator up to his knees in poo of his own making. Let's listen in and see what excrement Buddy can squeeze out of the king of chicken poo (AKA 'liquid fertilizer).
BB: Senator Jackson (BJ), you seem to have your fingers in just about everything Agricultural in the state of North Carolina, and of course including Being a farmer, owning a huge Liquid Fertilizer company among other interests. Do you ever feel that perhaps you have more than a little 'Conflict of Interest' sponsoring an 'Ag-gag' law that not only 'protects' Other farmers, but including yourself as well?
BJ: I think I'll plead the 5th Amendment on that one, Buddyboy.
BB: So, you sponsored a 'law' that protects you Yourself, and now you hide behind the 5th Amendment to protect yourself from a question?
BJ: You got my 'answer' to your question, Next.
BB: Did Tyson Foods have any input as to your decision to proffer this Ag-Gag bill?
BJ: You'd have to ask Them. I only speak for All the citizens of North Carolina.
BB: Do you mean Every single person in North Carolina, or perhaps just the Poultry and Meat Industry?
BJ: I speak for Every person here, chickens don't vote, people do, and they voted me into office.
BB: Was there a referendom where the citizens of North Carolina had a chance to Actually Vote for or against your Ag-Gag bill?
BJ: They don't Need to Vote on it, I 'know' what they 'want' already.
BB: But how can you "know" what Every citizen might "want", unless they have a chance to 'voice' their opinion by voting on an issue that could affect them adversly?
BJ: There's nothing adverse about my Bill. It protects Any business from snoops that would try to make them look bad. Business owners can look after themselves and 'police' themselves better With this law. We don't need snitches, and snoops with camers taking pictures of private industry as they go about their honest days work.
BB: Oh, I see. So, if we put the 'Fox' in charge of the 'hen house' that makes it better than having a 'guard' to keep the fox out? And when you say "business owners" aren't you referring to the Poultry and Meat Industry as a whole?
BJ: I'm talking about Any business owner in the state. Even the Better Business Bureau is happy with my Bill.
BB: Why are 'business owners', particullary the commercial poultry and other Commercial animal growers so afraid of the public finding out how they might operate, good or bad, on their 'farms'?
BJ: It's Their private property, and what they do or don't do there is no ones business but their Own. These snooping 'animal rights' fanatics sneak in there pretending to be employees, then they start videoing everything that goes on. They give the industry a bad name. My Bill now prevents them from doing it.
BB: If they're not doing anything Wrong, and if they're operating within the law, it seems they would have nothing to Hide from the public in the First place. After all, it's the 'Public' that buys their products. Shouldn't the Public have the right to know how their 'product' is 'produced', and under what conditions?
BJ: They all Are within the law. They have Nothing to hide.
BB: I guess you've seen some of the incredible undercover videos of some of these businesses? Are the actions depicted in those videos what you would consider 'with-in the law'? And how would Anyone Ever know what actually often occurs if not for the evidence shown in the videos, and for someone to step foreward to disclose those actions? Isn't this Now sorta like 'outta sight-Outta-mind'. Like that tree that falls in the forest does it make a sound if no one's around to 'hear' it?
BJ: Those 'videos' were done illegally, and can't be used as evidence. If a producer finds out that an employee breaks the law they'll be fired. If a snooper now takes a videos 'undercover', he gets sued, it's that simple. The industry will police ThemSelves and they will clean up their act. But we gotta keep these snoopers out.
BB: So, it sounds like the "snoopers" cause the problems by videoing the things they see going on...and Now without the "snoopers' being Able to video these violations, those violations will cease to happen???
BJ: Exactly.
BB: Hmmm....goes right back to the 'tree in the forest' thing. And, If no one can See evil, or Hear evil, they certainly cannot Speak of the evil.
BJ: (kicking at a pile of turkey poo, scratching his head, no comment)
BB: Well, now lets imagine that a bonified Employee of one of these Animal Producers actually Wittnesses a violation of law. Who does he tell about it?
BJ: He tells the management about it, not some stupid newspaper.
BB: Would it be wise for that incredibly Brave, or just as dumb, employee to already have another Job lined up? Do you think he would still be employeed there after that little stunt, And not be Blackballed from any Other industry afterwards?
BJ: (silence....more silence...looking around...)
BB: Hmmm...I think I just heard a 'Tree fall'.
BJ: What...I didn't hear a thing.
BB: Senator, I believe you. Now, as I understand it, your Ag-Gag Bill also covers businesses that actually have little or No connection to the Agriculture Industry, such as Nursing Homes for the Elderly, Automobile Repair Shops, Bakeries, Hotels, and, well, just about every business that has Nothing to Do with the Ag Industry, even Grocery Stores. How did That happen?
BJ: The way I see it, Every business has the right to operate unmolested by snooping reporters or undercover snitches or whistleblowers. My Bill protects them.
BB: Some might 'say' that you have broadened your Voter base with this what seems like a personal crusade on your part, not to mention a Vested interest. What would you say to those people?
BJ: Mind your Own business.
BB: Wouldn't you 'think' that the public would want to Know what goes on in, say, a Nursing Home, which as you Know is rife with unsavorey practices? With your Ag-Gag bill, how will we know about abuses with-in that Industry when their Employees who are already being paid a minimum or less wage, are afraid to speak up if they witness violations?
BJ: I would say to them, don't be afraid, speak up, complain to the management, They will correct the 'problem'. These places will be better able to police themselves without having to worry about whistleblowers running to the news media and making the business look bad.
BB: So, you're not concerned that the "management" in that case would simply see the concerned Employee as their "problem", and so just get rid of the employee, and "problem" solved. I think we're back to the 'See no Evil, Hear no evil' thing. What protects the concerned employee here?
BJ: The management will protect the employee and correct the problems himself.
BB: Ahhhh....don't look Now, but there's a 'Fox in your Henhouse' Senator. Have you Always had this seemingly Disconnect with Reality? Do you Really have more concern about the 'Industry', yet little or None about the Employee, who without, the 'Industry' would be for naught?
BJ: I care about Everyone, Every Voter, that's my Job. If I 'protect' the Industry, That 'protects' the employee in turn. It's very simple. Even I understand it.
BB: Allllright then. It looks like your snappy little Ag-Gag Bill is being challenged by a lot of groups that feel this Bill is overbroad, far reaching, and not a little arbitrary. What do you say to those groups?
BJ: They're a bunch of crybaby, bleeding heart animal rights fanatics! They don't stand a chance against Me. I have more Power in the Senate that God himself. I didn't work my way into being in charge of all these Agricultural Commities for Nothing you know. These whiney groups will get Nowhere, go Nowhere, and will look stupid in the end. The North Carolina Senate 'works' for Me, they know that without Me, They would not be where they are today. I AM the Senate, they don't 'vote' on, or even Think about, Anything that concerns Agreculture in This State, unless they talk to Me first. Look, I gotta go now, I'm up to my butt in poop.
BB: Yep, I'd have to agree with you on That one Senator, the 'poop' Is getting pretty Deep in here. Thank you for the 'enlightenment', and you might want to look into that little 'Conflict Of Interest' thing.
And so it goes. We have waded deep into the poop world of this fine selfless Senator, who's Only concern is Not for himself or his Own mega Ag Business, but the safety and welfare of his happy voters...er.. Citizens that is, of the State of North Carolina, a state it seems, bought and paid for by the various agricultural industries who happily call This state their Own.
Where this poop saga ends no one knows, but it Is clear just exactly who this Ag-Gag bill benifits, and those who will 'profit' from it's passing in the Senate, 'owned' by none other than his Rightious Highness, the Ag Guru of North Carolina, Senator Brent Jackson.
Join us again, somewhere in the near future no doubt, when our nerves of steel, boundless of energy, wise beyond description, 'News' Reporter Extraordinar', BuddyBlack brings our attention to Another 'Tree, falling in the woods'.
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