'My fellow misguided Mississippians, as your esteemed Governor, Remember, You 'elected' Me, And as the official spokesperson of your most sacred, and inner thoughts, I hereby declare the month of April as 'Confederate History Month'. Yessirree folks, I know that I speak for Every single man, woman, and child, mostly you lilly white ones, who are lucky enough to call Mississippi, Home Sweet Racist Home. Now I Know, because I actually looked it up a few minutes ago, that our fine state, actually Illegally and Traitorously by the way, attempted to seceed from the Union in January 1861, Not April the month I have picked to celebrate our defeat. But doggone it, I didn't even Think of Doing this back in January, and I just Knew y'all wouldn't want to wait a whole Year to celebrate, so April it is. And boy do we have a lot of cool things to celebrate and be darn Proud of. Almost brings a tear to my colorblind eyes. I'll just mention a Few things, and I'm sure that each and every one of you proud white southerners have a few worthy things of your own to yahoo about.
But first, let's hear a big shout-out for our spiffy and ever flapping State flag still sporting that good ol' boy symbol of Southern Pride and Racism the 'Battle Cross', our wonderful symbol of our undying love of racism and brotherly love of all things white! So, here's just Some of the memorable things that make up the contents of our 'confederate history heritage', of which each and every one of us Caucasian citizens can be So proud of, and thank our good Lord and savior for;
1718/19- The first SLAVE shipments arrive in Mississippi.
1724- The 'Black Code' act is proposed but rejected.
1795-1810- Cotton replaces Tobacco as the main cash crop which placed a demand for more SLAVES.
1817- Congress admits Mississippi to the Union.
January 9, 1861 - Mississippi Secedes from the Union. Mississippi becomes the second state to secede when the Mississippi Secession Convention passes a secession ordinance 84-15. The Declaration of Secession for Mississippi states, "Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery-the greatest material interest of the world. Its labor supplies the product which constitutes by far the largest and most important portions of commerce of the earth."
1861- There were 436,631 SLAVES in Mississippi, owned by 30,943 SLAVE Holders. 49% of White citizens of Mississippi owned SLAVES.
1866- the kkk was organized in Mississippi.
1868- Mississippi voters Rejected the bi-racial constitution at the "Black and Tan Convention" which would have Protected the Rights of ex-SLAVES.
1862-1865- Mississippi was responsible, along with the Other Treacherous Secessionist states, for the unnecessary Deaths of more than 620,000 soldiers, North and South, of which nearly 10,000 were confederate soldiers of Mississippi, this from a total of approx. 80,000 that served in the secessionist army of Mississippi.
Now folks, you Know that I could just go on, and on, and on, with the Many things that we as Proud Mississippians can look back on in our wonderous State history with the utmost 'moral' pride, and be Thankful that we were born White instead of that Other colour. We each and Every one of us should dust off our snappy 'Battle Cross' symbols and fly them high and proud for all the world to see, and be in particular awe of. Plant them on your lawns, and if you know of a 'special' lawn that could use a little reminder, plant one there as well. Fly it from your favorite truck so that Everyone can see, and know for Sure, that you are a throw-back of the good ol' days when we Mississippians had the 'moral' 'right' to Purchase, Own, Sell, and Trade other HUMAN Beings in the grand institution of SLAVERY, just like we do with cows, and pigs, and other farm animals. Stand Up fellow citizens, just like I'm proud to do, and be counted among Americans who would love nothing better than to regress back to those good ol' days of yor when we could exercise our 'States Rights, our 'Property Rights', without interferance from some lacky federal crybabies.
Next, I will introduce legislation that will require that All citizens of our learned state get a full color Tattoo of our symbol of 'confederate heritage' on your butts. I'm even gonna have our local toilet paper company, 'Poop n Scoot', issue a special run of TP emblazend with our wonderful 'confederate heritage' symbol. So, my satisfied, and pround brethern, stand up and lets give our 'confederate heritage' a big one finger salute as it does the Porcelain swirl!' :/ :/
Society
Mississippi Declares April 'Confederate History Month'
In February, Republican Gov. Phil Bryant of Mississippi quietly declared April to be Confederate History Month.
The proclamation was not included on the state's official website but was posted on the website of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, an organization known for pushing a revisionist history of the Civil War, the Jackson Free Press reports.
The proclamation explained that April would be the appropriate month to honor Confederate heritage because it "is the month in which the Confederate States began and ended a four-year struggle." April 25th is Confederate Memorial Day.
The legacy of the Confederacy has been a point of controversy of late, following the mass shooting at an African-American church in Charleston, South Carolina, in June 2015. Days after the shooting, the Mississippi House Speaker, Republican State Rep. Philip Gun called for the state flag to be redesigned, the Associated Press reports.
Currently, the flag features a Confederate battle emblem. Gunn deemed the rebel cross "a point of offense that needs to be removed."
However, the Mississippi legislature failed to come to consensus on how to change the flag on Feb. 23, and so the flag will remain as it is for the rest of 2016.
Gunn, however, said the fight to change the flag was not over.
"The flag is going to change," he said in a statement, according to the AP. "We can deal with it now or leave for future generations to address."
The proclamation was not included on the state's official website but was posted on the website of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, an organization known for pushing a revisionist history of the Civil War, the Jackson Free Press reports.
The proclamation explained that April would be the appropriate month to honor Confederate heritage because it "is the month in which the Confederate States began and ended a four-year struggle." April 25th is Confederate Memorial Day.
The legacy of the Confederacy has been a point of controversy of late, following the mass shooting at an African-American church in Charleston, South Carolina, in June 2015. Days after the shooting, the Mississippi House Speaker, Republican State Rep. Philip Gun called for the state flag to be redesigned, the Associated Press reports.
However, the Mississippi legislature failed to come to consensus on how to change the flag on Feb. 23, and so the flag will remain as it is for the rest of 2016.
Gunn, however, said the fight to change the flag was not over.
"The flag is going to change," he said in a statement, according to the AP. "We can deal with it now or leave for future generations to address."
Sources: Jackson Free Press, AP via CSN News / Photo credit: Trip Burns/Jackson Free Press, USDA/Wikipedia
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