'Dear Teddy, my Lying friend, you 'know' how very much I 'like' you, in Fact I Love you as I would love any of my pet spiders, and it really Hurts me to have to write this Cease-and-Desist letter. But Write I must.
Anyone who knows me, knows it is not my nature, it's not even in any of my fabulous Bones, to give people, or even Animals for that matter, especially Women, I love them Too, a hard time or disparage them in Any fashion. It's just not Me Teddy. Not me! But You on the other hand cannot claim that position. Look Teddy, it's not My fault that you are Unstable as you certifiably are. It might not even be Your fault. Genes have a lot to do with that sort of thing. But I really don't know Anything about your families 'gene pool', shallow as it must be. I don't know, but it does make me wonder. My advice is for you to Not Dive off the deep end of your wading 'pool', you'll probably just quickly hit your head there. Only You know.
Now you, unlike my wonderful, faultless self towards You, have been telling horrible lies about Me. Horrible! A really Big lie you have spread is that I'm Pro-Choice. What's With that Teddy? I mean What!? Where did you learn to Lie like that?? I mean I'm pretty Sure I'm Not Pro Choice...right now. Why'd you go and Say that? Such a Lie! Oh sure, you have a taped interview I gave ten, twenty years ago where I 'said' that I'm Pro Choice. Big Deal Teddy! Big deal! Old 'news'! Just because I said it, and I'm not saying I Did say it, doesn't mean that I really Am Pro Choice! Don't you Ever listen to Anything I say?? MG, Teddy, if I Meant Everything I say on this campaign trail I'd have to be Jesus! You can't just go out there and tell the 'truth' all the time! People don't want to hear the 'truth' about Anything! Their empty minds are already made up way before something slithers out of My mouth. Americans are Stupid Teddy! Don't you Know That? Look how many follow me around like baby ducks for cryin' out loud! Geeez! They 'think' I'm gonna 'feed' them! I just Know what they are Thinking, and what they Want to hear, and Then I Say it, and they 'think' I thought of it For them. You see how it Works? Get a Life Teddy! But here your are, believing everything you hear, just like Them, and then broadcasting stupidity all over the place trying to make me 'look' bad. Well, ya gotta try harder than That! Just how long have you been a Politician Teddy? Have you been Sleeping at the 'wheel'?Oh, and that video clip you refer to, that guy doesn't even Look like me. Might not Be! I'm not sayin' it's Not...I'm just saying.
What I'm saying Now Teddy, it that you are Still Such a big fat lier! Still! I bet you got a lot of whippings when you were a child. I bet you Still get'em! I'd give you one myself if you were My child, which I'm pretty Sure your Not, although I have had a lot of Hispanic women as employees in the past. Wonderful 'workers'. You should Stop lying about me Right Now Teddy! I don't get angry easily, as you know, but This one really ticked me Off! I don't show emotions often, unlike crybaby you, but I just gotta say, and it hurts like the dickens to say it, but I'm gonna Sue you all the way back to your Home country Canada, unless you apologize to me In Person, down on your scabby little crybaby knees, hands clasped under your boney chin, like your sucking up to the Pope, and beg my forgiveness. Until Then Teddy, consider this your notice to Cease and Desist from spreading Any more lies, no matter How 'truthfull they might actually Be, about me. You should model yourself after Me, that's why I'm Presidential material. You're not even allowed to Even Think bad thoughts about me anymore. So don't Do it Teddy. Be Nice, just like I am! Or I will toast you like a Cuban breakfast muffin! My 'thought' police will be watching you. I know how to 'deal' with people, and when I'm President I can Really get in the groove 'dealing' with people like you. I see you. I can Still see you Teddy. Lier, lier, your pants on fire!
Your ever faithful and forever BFF, His Highness, and Royal Majesty, Donald T'. ;) ;)
Ted Cruz Can’t Wait for Donald Trump to Sue Him
Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images
SENECA, South Carolina—In a hastily arranged press conference Wednesday morning, Ted Cruz, lawyer, brought with him a letter he’d gotten in the mail on Tuesday to share with the assembled national media. It was, in Cruz’s words, “one of the most remarkable letters I have ever read.”
Jim Newell
It was a cease-and-desist letter from Donald Trump’s counsel demanding that the Cruz campaign take down its latest campaign ad. For those people who were “hoping for a boring campaign,” Cruz began, “this cycle has not complied in that regard.”
Which brought Cruz to describe the latest “adventure,” in which Trump is “apparently very unhappy with a television ad we’ve run.” Cruz’s team played the ad, “Supreme Trust,” on a projector screen. The ad notes that after the death of Antonin Scalia, control of the Supreme Court “hangs in the balance,” and then cuts to a now oft-shown clip of Trump on Meet the Press in 1999 saying “I am pro-choice in every respect” and adding that he would not ban partial-birth abortion.
“So, in response to that ad, yesterday, Donald’s lawyer sent our campaign and cease-and-desist letter,” Cruz went on. The letter, according to Cruz, argued that the ad “is an attempt to materially mislead the public” and “not only completely disingenuous, but replete with lies, false, defamatory and destructive statements, and downright fabrications.” It “blatantly misrepresents to the public that Mr. Trump is pro-choice, and nothing could be further from the truth.” The letter closes with a threat of “immediate legal action to prevent the continued broadcast of this ad, and to hold [Cruz] jointly and severally liable to the fullest extent of the law for any damages resulting therefrom.”
It doesn’t take much of a lawyer to recognize that there’s not much of a case here. The ad just replays a clip of Trump saying something on national television in the 1990s, before he decided that it was more politically useful to be pro-life. But Cruz happens to be one of the best lawyers in the country, and so he delighted in taking the threat apart.
“I have to say, Mr. Trump, you have been threatening frivolous lawsuits your entire adult life,” Cruz said. “Even in the annals of frivolous lawsuits, this takes the cake. So Donald, I would encourage you, if you want to file a lawsuit—challenging this ad, claiming it is defamation—file the lawsuit.” Cruz added that if Trump files the suit, it will “result in both Donald Trump and any lawyer that signs his name to the pleadings being sanctioned in court for filing frivolous litigation.”
Cruz admitted that he looked forward to the lawsuit because of the opportunities it would afford him. “One of the things I look forward to most of all is deposing Donald Trump. For that particular endeavor, I may well not use outside counsel, I may take the deposition myself.”
Trump later responded that "time will tell, Teddy," whether he files suit over the ad or Cruz's Canadian birth.
Cruz used the rest of the press conference to equate Trump’s strategy of calling him a “liar” every time some uncomfortable information is leveled his way to Sen. Marco Rubio’s similar strategy.
Cruz and Rubio have been tangling for some months now. But Cruz didn’t start attacking Trump until a month or so ago, and it’s not because he didn’t have any material. At just this press conference, Cruz cited Trump’s support for Planned Parenthood; his previous “pro-choice” position; the pro-choice record of his sister, federal appeals court Judge Maryanne Trump Barry; and the long list of Trump’s donations to both Democratic candidates and Democratic fundraising committees over the past decade. Cruz is only now trying to define Trump as a loose-gasket, extremely liberal, lifelong Democratic fraud. Had Cruz started this earlier instead of “bear-hugging” Trump for six months, perhaps the situation for Trump opponents in the Republican Party wouldn’t be quite as dire.
