Too Easily "Impressed"
' Oh man! Am I "impressed" or what!? I mean I'm talking "IMPRESSED" here!! That president Trump really knows how to look a cop in the face and actually 'tell the truth' for once! I remember him telling us that he was gonna arrest and deport all of the criminal illegal aliens in America, and you know what, that's exactly what he has done. Hey, I'm not kidding here folks! Shoot, there's no criminals in my county to arrest now! I'm the sheriff! Would I lie to you? Would I? No kidding, would I?? Hey, you're looking at a totally un-biased, Non-political, no hidden agenda, no dog in the fight sheriff here! Some folks might think that I love the 'lime light' in all this. Oh sure, my pretty face is plastered all over the world, and my name is as famous as my hero Trump, 'The Incompetent's', but that's not even near why I support my hero, who by the way, is totally without fault in all things presidential. I just love all the 'great' things my hero has done to...er..for, that is, America. Very 'impressive'! I just wish I had time to enumerate all those great things that I might otherwise allude to. Well, actually, I guess I could spell out a few things while I've got the microphone and camera in my man-face. How about that 'Clean Water Act' that my hero has deregulated so that big business, which by the way, no doubt helps fund my run for the sheriffs position, can now pollute your waterways as they very well please. You see, that silly regulation was stifling big business like crazy! My good Ag Business friends were being chocked near to death by these useless regulations! Now they can just run rampant like they need to in order to make those big profits so that they can contribute to the Republican cause, which by the way, I'm so much a part of. And how about that dreadful, illegal EPA, I mean who needs some picky assed Environmental Protection Agency telling farmers, and big Ag Business what to do, and what not to do, you know like 'don't use poison on your fields, it kills wildlife and poisons water', I mean, who needs that kind of bureaucratic bullcrap? So you see, I'm what you might call, a backward leaning, forward thinker. You see these 'stars' on my collar? That means I'm one 'smart' guy. Just like our 'smart' President who was able to pass a really tough 'brain test', except I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get a hundred percent score like he did. He's a regular 'genius', just like he said he is. Oh wait, did I mention how "impressed" I am with the way our esteemed President treats women? And immigrants? And minorities? And how about the way he's able to garner the votes of the Evangelicals simply by playing up to their narrow minded taliban mindset? And I'm really "impressed" with the way he 'always' tells the 'truth'. He 'never' lies, or makes things up just to hear himself talk. He never spreads "fake news", or "alternative facts" like those disgusting "fake new" media whores always do.
So to say that I am "impressed" with my hero President Trump, is an understatement, which I don't usually do, as I am known far and wide of being more of an 'overstatementer' sorta guy. Actually, I, myself, am rather 'impressive'. But that's just me, one "impressed" guy.
' Oh man! Am I "impressed" or what!? I mean I'm talking "IMPRESSED" here!! That president Trump really knows how to look a cop in the face and actually 'tell the truth' for once! I remember him telling us that he was gonna arrest and deport all of the criminal illegal aliens in America, and you know what, that's exactly what he has done. Hey, I'm not kidding here folks! Shoot, there's no criminals in my county to arrest now! I'm the sheriff! Would I lie to you? Would I? No kidding, would I?? Hey, you're looking at a totally un-biased, Non-political, no hidden agenda, no dog in the fight sheriff here! Some folks might think that I love the 'lime light' in all this. Oh sure, my pretty face is plastered all over the world, and my name is as famous as my hero Trump, 'The Incompetent's', but that's not even near why I support my hero, who by the way, is totally without fault in all things presidential. I just love all the 'great' things my hero has done to...er..for, that is, America. Very 'impressive'! I just wish I had time to enumerate all those great things that I might otherwise allude to. Well, actually, I guess I could spell out a few things while I've got the microphone and camera in my man-face. How about that 'Clean Water Act' that my hero has deregulated so that big business, which by the way, no doubt helps fund my run for the sheriffs position, can now pollute your waterways as they very well please. You see, that silly regulation was stifling big business like crazy! My good Ag Business friends were being chocked near to death by these useless regulations! Now they can just run rampant like they need to in order to make those big profits so that they can contribute to the Republican cause, which by the way, I'm so much a part of. And how about that dreadful, illegal EPA, I mean who needs some picky assed Environmental Protection Agency telling farmers, and big Ag Business what to do, and what not to do, you know like 'don't use poison on your fields, it kills wildlife and poisons water', I mean, who needs that kind of bureaucratic bullcrap? So you see, I'm what you might call, a backward leaning, forward thinker. You see these 'stars' on my collar? That means I'm one 'smart' guy. Just like our 'smart' President who was able to pass a really tough 'brain test', except I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get a hundred percent score like he did. He's a regular 'genius', just like he said he is. Oh wait, did I mention how "impressed" I am with the way our esteemed President treats women? And immigrants? And minorities? And how about the way he's able to garner the votes of the Evangelicals simply by playing up to their narrow minded taliban mindset? And I'm really "impressed" with the way he 'always' tells the 'truth'. He 'never' lies, or makes things up just to hear himself talk. He never spreads "fake news", or "alternative facts" like those disgusting "fake new" media whores always do.
So to say that I am "impressed" with my hero President Trump, is an understatement, which I don't usually do, as I am known far and wide of being more of an 'overstatementer' sorta guy. Actually, I, myself, am rather 'impressive'. But that's just me, one "impressed" guy.
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