'State of The Mind' Address
'Holy cows!! Did you see me!? Did you!? Did You!?? Of course you did! Hey, every person with a TV on the whole planet saw me! Great numbers! Hugely numbers! "The highest number in history". After ten billion, I lost count! No one has ever had numbers like mine! No one! No where! Me, me, me, it was all about Me! Man, I'm the greatest thing since the mechanical manure spreader! I'm a very "smart" guy. I actually passed a 'smart test'. Got a hundred on it! And these guys behind me, my little puppet men, did you see how they went, 'Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap', just as if they had been cued? What a great clutch of mindless minions! I wish I had more of'em! I'm all in for cloning! I mean, hey, look at Me. I'm so smart, I make 5th graders look like little morons.
By the way, "We have ended the war on American energy." What a terrible 'war' that was! Millions of Americans needlessly killed every year, every day, over trying to stop my oil company, and coal mining friends from destroying your environment. Disgusting! Sad, so sad! Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap! But now, with my incredible 'leadership' I have stopped that awful "war on American energy" by making it the law of the land that allows my wealthy voting friends to drill, and blast, and dig, and pollute as they need to in order to suck out nation dry of it's natural resources which they can then sell to the rest of the world, which in turn will make the rest of 'us' filthy rich in the process. Yes, my fellow American's, the "war" is over, rest in peace. 'Clap, Clap Clap!'
Borders; "For decades, open borders have allowed drugs and gangs to pour into our most vulnerable communities." Well folks I can assure you that even without my 'wall', which Mexico will, in one way or another pay for, I have stopped all drug, and people, smuggling across our borders. 'Clap, Clap!' Those illegal Mexican's will have to find another country to conduct their crime business in! No more groping, and raping our beautiful American actresses, and models! No more robbing your grandmothers as they wait in line at the foodbank! Clap! Now, there'll be more room in your unemployment lines for born in America, Americans! Soon I will singlehandidly cure the opiod epidemic that is ravaging our nation. 'Clap' Hey, who's making that stuff!?? Does that camera have my 'good' side? Can they see me way back there? What a turn-out!
Cars; Yep, those Are my "car companies". 'Clap'
Obama; Disgusting illegal! Fake birth certificate! He's outta here! Kicked his butt right out of my 'DC Swamp'! 'Clap, Clap, Clap' Great numbers! Ten million more votes than that disgusting Hillary! By the way, "We repealed the core of the disastrous Obamacare — the individual mandate is now gone." Gone! Totally gone! Wiped it off the face of the earth, and him with it! Trust me folks, especially my narrow minded base of ignorant, biased voters, by the time I'm finished and my daughter is elected as your next 'leader', I will have totally erased Obama's name from our, and the worlds, history books! 'Clap, Clap'
Gangs; "We have sent thousands and thousands and thousands of MS-13 horrible people out of this country or into our prisons." 'Clap, Clap' Now you can walk down any dark street in America without fear of being robbed by some filthy gang member. I alone have arrested millions of these illegal border jumpers. Our prisons are overflowing with them, and millions have been sent back to their mother countries where they'll no doubt figure a way to come back to America. Huge numbers! Un-believable numbers!
Coal; "We have ended the war on beautiful clean coal." 'Clap, Clap'. What a horrible "war" that was! My friends, the miners, were being murdered left and right! Some were even my personal, childhood friends that I often played in the suffacating, coal dust with. Some people see 'coal dust', I, myself, see $$'money'$$, Such Sweet memories! But I stepped in and stopped that awful "war on beautiful coal". Some thoughtless people, mostly those "fake news" organizations, used to accuse coal of being a terrible pollutent. Well, I have never seen any of my swimming pools or golf courses that were polluted by coal! They aren't even Near a coal mine or one of those remaining coal burning industries that 'supposidly' ("Fake News") foul our Earths atmosphere, and where runoff from the mines foul our rivers and streams. Disgusting "Fake News"! Our remaining scientists, the ones I haven't fired yet, all agree with me that there's absolutly, positivily, no harm in mining coal, or using it in our manufaturing industries. And that's 'science' folks, science! believe me, folks, I wouldn't lie to you about that, or anythiing else. Ever. Never. really. I'm not lieing this time. Really.
Well, that's the State of The Union as I know it. Gotta go now, time for my face tan appointment. 'Clap'.
'Holy cows!! Did you see me!? Did you!? Did You!?? Of course you did! Hey, every person with a TV on the whole planet saw me! Great numbers! Hugely numbers! "The highest number in history". After ten billion, I lost count! No one has ever had numbers like mine! No one! No where! Me, me, me, it was all about Me! Man, I'm the greatest thing since the mechanical manure spreader! I'm a very "smart" guy. I actually passed a 'smart test'. Got a hundred on it! And these guys behind me, my little puppet men, did you see how they went, 'Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap', just as if they had been cued? What a great clutch of mindless minions! I wish I had more of'em! I'm all in for cloning! I mean, hey, look at Me. I'm so smart, I make 5th graders look like little morons.
By the way, "We have ended the war on American energy." What a terrible 'war' that was! Millions of Americans needlessly killed every year, every day, over trying to stop my oil company, and coal mining friends from destroying your environment. Disgusting! Sad, so sad! Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap! But now, with my incredible 'leadership' I have stopped that awful "war on American energy" by making it the law of the land that allows my wealthy voting friends to drill, and blast, and dig, and pollute as they need to in order to suck out nation dry of it's natural resources which they can then sell to the rest of the world, which in turn will make the rest of 'us' filthy rich in the process. Yes, my fellow American's, the "war" is over, rest in peace. 'Clap, Clap Clap!'
Borders; "For decades, open borders have allowed drugs and gangs to pour into our most vulnerable communities." Well folks I can assure you that even without my 'wall', which Mexico will, in one way or another pay for, I have stopped all drug, and people, smuggling across our borders. 'Clap, Clap!' Those illegal Mexican's will have to find another country to conduct their crime business in! No more groping, and raping our beautiful American actresses, and models! No more robbing your grandmothers as they wait in line at the foodbank! Clap! Now, there'll be more room in your unemployment lines for born in America, Americans! Soon I will singlehandidly cure the opiod epidemic that is ravaging our nation. 'Clap' Hey, who's making that stuff!?? Does that camera have my 'good' side? Can they see me way back there? What a turn-out!
Cars; Yep, those Are my "car companies". 'Clap'
Obama; Disgusting illegal! Fake birth certificate! He's outta here! Kicked his butt right out of my 'DC Swamp'! 'Clap, Clap, Clap' Great numbers! Ten million more votes than that disgusting Hillary! By the way, "We repealed the core of the disastrous Obamacare — the individual mandate is now gone." Gone! Totally gone! Wiped it off the face of the earth, and him with it! Trust me folks, especially my narrow minded base of ignorant, biased voters, by the time I'm finished and my daughter is elected as your next 'leader', I will have totally erased Obama's name from our, and the worlds, history books! 'Clap, Clap'
Gangs; "We have sent thousands and thousands and thousands of MS-13 horrible people out of this country or into our prisons." 'Clap, Clap' Now you can walk down any dark street in America without fear of being robbed by some filthy gang member. I alone have arrested millions of these illegal border jumpers. Our prisons are overflowing with them, and millions have been sent back to their mother countries where they'll no doubt figure a way to come back to America. Huge numbers! Un-believable numbers!
Coal; "We have ended the war on beautiful clean coal." 'Clap, Clap'. What a horrible "war" that was! My friends, the miners, were being murdered left and right! Some were even my personal, childhood friends that I often played in the suffacating, coal dust with. Some people see 'coal dust', I, myself, see $$'money'$$, Such Sweet memories! But I stepped in and stopped that awful "war on beautiful coal". Some thoughtless people, mostly those "fake news" organizations, used to accuse coal of being a terrible pollutent. Well, I have never seen any of my swimming pools or golf courses that were polluted by coal! They aren't even Near a coal mine or one of those remaining coal burning industries that 'supposidly' ("Fake News") foul our Earths atmosphere, and where runoff from the mines foul our rivers and streams. Disgusting "Fake News"! Our remaining scientists, the ones I haven't fired yet, all agree with me that there's absolutly, positivily, no harm in mining coal, or using it in our manufaturing industries. And that's 'science' folks, science! believe me, folks, I wouldn't lie to you about that, or anythiing else. Ever. Never. really. I'm not lieing this time. Really.
Well, that's the State of The Union as I know it. Gotta go now, time for my face tan appointment. 'Clap'.
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