'Man, I've got it in the bag Now! I mean, Got it! Got it! Wow, I'm starting to sound like Trump, repeating myself, over, and Over! But did you See that, did you Hear that? Duck Robertson, the Godfather of all things ducky, just this very minute 'endorsed' me! Holy fat cows in heaven! Can you Imagine That? Not in my wildest dreams would I have Ever dreamt such a thing as This. I am so 'thrilled'! I knew we were Pals, but this brings us to a whole new level of BFFness. And here I thought that Oral Roberts was my BFF. Not anymore he's Not! I got a whole brand new BFF! Now I Know I'm gonna win, yeaaaa, I'm gonna be President of America. And you know what, Duck is gonna be my Vice President. I can pick just about anybody I want to for That job, and I'm picking Him! We have a lot in common, that's why we're BFF's. I'm a Bible totin', pulpit whacking, Christian, and so is He. I'm not at All paronoid about stuff, and my BFF isn't either! We're just regular, everyday, kinda guys. But Boy, when we fanatical Christians are running this here America, sinners had better look out! There's no room in America for 'sinners'. We're gonna smoke'em out of their holes just like we do groundhogs, and Blam, there goes another sinner! I want the whole world to be just like my home State, Texass. I hate those sinful homosexuals, and so does He. In fact, I hate anything that's different from me, and so does He. Man, we could be Twins! Gotta check my Family Tree on That one. Wouldn't it be something if we were really Twins! What a hoot that would be. I'm not real crazy about people with skin darker than Mine, and He feels the same way. He likes Vagina's, and hates Anuses, and it just so happens that I do Too. Shoot I never even Think about some guys anus! But a good lookin' Vagina is Always on my mind. Men don't have Vaginas, and Women Do, that's why I like Women that have one. That's just more 'desirable' in my opinion. And I'm with Him when Duck says that "she's got more to offer". You know, you can do a whole lot More with a good Vagina than you can with a great Anus. Everytime I go to one of these useless debates, I look around me and realize that I'm Surrounded by Anuses! You can bet your cats whiskers on That one! Oh, and Duck doesn't have Any phobias. I don't have any Either! Not a One! We're both 'religious' zealotts. Now, some ignorants claim that I'm a bit 'racist'. Hey, I like Black people. Some times I wish I was one for a few minutes. When I'm president, I'll hire a bunch of'em to work in my WhiteHouse. They just love doing housework and stuff like That. Did I mention that I'm from Texass, the biggest darn State around here? Did you know that there are No liers or crooks in my great State of Texass? Yep, not a One, or my name ain't Ted, which you are welcome to just call me 'Teddy'. When I'm your President I'm gonna dismantle Everything that Obama has 'created', especially that stupid Health Care Act. I don't care How Many people it will screw, or How much turmoil it throws America in. I will Undo Everything he set in motion! Everything! Boy, I wish I could Spank that guy! I'd spank him like he's one of my kids! Well, I guess I better get going, Duck and I are going 'duck' hunting, that's how tight we are. I always make him stand in Front of me though. You can't be too safe! Hey, here's one for you; did you hear about the duck that flew upside down? Yeah, he had a 'quack-up'! Here's one; what does a duck like with his peanut butter? A 'quacker'!
Ok, gotta go, Duck's waiting, and the 'ducks' won't! :/:/
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Ted Cruz Gains Endorsement Of Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson
Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson speaks during a rally opposing the Iran nuclear deal outside the Capitol. The Ted Cruz campaign announced Robertson's endorsement of the Texas senator Tuesday. Susan Walsh/AP hide caption
toggle caption Susan Walsh/AP 
Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson speaks during a rally opposing the Iran nuclear deal outside the Capitol. The Ted Cruz campaign announced Robertson's endorsement of the Texas senator Tuesday.
Susan Walsh/AP "My qualifications for president of the United States are rather narrow," Robertson says in the video. "Is he or she godly, does he or she love us, can he or she do the job, and finally would they kill a duck and put him in a pot and make him a good duck gumbo? I've looked at the candidates; Ted Cruz is my man. He fits the bill. He's godly, he loves us, he's the man for the job, and he will go duck hunting — because today we're going."
At the end of the video, Robertson turns to Cruz and says: "You're one of us, my man. That's why we're voting for you."
"I am thrilled to have Phil's support for our campaign," Cruz said in a statement.
In 2013, Robertson was suspended from Duck Dynasty after making graphic comments about homosexuality that offended many people. He told GQ magazine that his mission "is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the Bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together." He also said: "It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She's got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying? But hey, sin: It's not logical, my man. It's just not logical.""The Robertsons are a strong family of great Christian faith and conservative values. Phil's story of starting off with something small and working hard to achieve the American dream is inspiring. Much like my parents, and many other Americans, who started a small business and worked hard to provide for our family. If we as conservatives come together in 2016 and fight for the values that have made this country exceptional, we will win the White House and turn this country around."
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The suspension seemed to only rally conservative Christian support for Robertson, with politicians like former Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin speaking out on Robertson's behalf. In a Facebook post, Ted Cruz called the suspension an affront to freedom of speech and religious liberty. Ultimately, the suspension was lifted in a little over a week and did not interrupt the show's filming schedule.
Robertson's endorsement of Cruz reflects his appeal to religious conservatives, particularly in Iowa, which will hold the nation's first caucus Feb. 1. Cruz has also picked up endorsements from Iowa evangelical kingmaker Bob Vander Plaats and James Dobson of Focus on the Family.
Cruz and Donald Trump are currently neck and neck for first place in the polls in Iowa. At one recent event in the state, Cruz asked audience members to spend one minute a day in prayer for him until caucus day, "When you're shaving. ... When you're having lunch. When you're tucking your kids into bed."
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