'My Lord! I have never seen such a thing in my Life! And you know, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't Seen it with my very own eyes myself. I'm not just a great spiritial 'leader' of lost souls folks, the good Lord has given Me, Pat Robertson, and Only me, the special power to 'see' the things that ordinary mortals can only Hope to see. Most folks just 'look' but they do not See, most folks 'hear' but they do not Listen, most folks 'touch' but they do not Feel. Well, let me asure you, That is Not one of My problems. I hover way above regular mortal beings. I fly higher than the perverbial Eagles, I am in a sense, 'Gods right hand man'. He has given me the Power, the Wonder working power of the Lord, Jesus Christ almighty. Oh, and I can also See Demons on donated clothing. Yes, folks, on Donated Clothing! Actually, this is a pretty cOOl power I got here. Actually, I didn't realize that I even possessed this nifty nack until one day I was in a Goodwill store checking out donated suits. Here, I'll let you in on a little known secret, sometimes people are stupid enough to not clean out the Pockets of their suits when they donate them. Oh my Holy Saints in Heaven, they sometimes leave Money, Jewelery, Bearer Bonds and all Kinds of treasure in those things! Praise the Lord, and pass the 'Plate'!! Well anyway, here I was turning pockets inside out, 'flipping' as I like to call it, when all of a Sudden out of the corner of my eye I see some movement amongst the suits. Being a spirituial person my First thought was that an Angel had caught me flipping pockets, but much to my relief I saw that was not the case. What I saw was actually little bitty Demons jumping around on those suits. They weren't even trying to hide from me, almost as if they Wanted me to See them. Well praise the Lord, it worked, because I Did see them. I think they were daring me to give them a Godly swat back to where they came from! They were up to No good! You see, demons are like that, they have never been Known to do gOOd. Always looking for trouble, or to cause trouble. Now I know you're gonna ask Why did the good Lord even invent demons in the first place, and you know what folks, that's a real good question, but look, we're talking about demons in donated clothing right now. So then, I looked around the store, just casual like, not wanting to cause a scene or a wild stampeed of frightened shoppers, so I was pretty cool and low key about it. But Lord all Mighty, just about everywhere I looked I saw more and more and more demons. Right away I Knew that the good Lord was testing me. He does that a Lot it seems. I bet he tests a lot of people, but myself in particular. Well, I headed for the exit. But it was too late. Those demons had attached themselves to my own clothing, and no matter how I tried, I could not for the life of me, brush them all off! They were like Sticktights! Like cowburrs on a cows tail! Like a booger you can't get off your finger! I rushed myself home and threw my clothes, after checking my pockets of course, into the washer, filled it with Demon-Buster Bleach that I keep on hand just in case, and turned that thing on Heavenly Duty! Let me assure you that those pesky demons went right down the drain, right back to where they came from! So folks, Yes, in case you have Ever wondered, Demons Can, and most certainly Do attach themselves to Donated clothing, and like fleas on a junkyard dog, they will jump off those things right onto you and next thing you know, they'll be causing trouble. My advice is that you look very closely with Godlike vision at clothing, or Anything, in a second hand store for these demons. If you would like to have the 'power' that I, myself, have, that enables me to See these secondhand demons, just say my Name Six Times, spin around three times, and place your hand on my picture right here on the screen, and say out loud, I Believe, I Believe I can See Demons! Or just send a small donation, or just call me at 555-555-1234. Praise the Lord, and pass the 'Plate'! ;);)
--Pat Robertson Says Demons Could Attach Themselves to Clothes from Goodwill. --On the Bonus Show: Professor caught watching porn in class,…
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