'Ok, Everyone who legally lives in our grand State of Maine, and My 'State of Confusion', today we're having our very first 'class' on how to Count using our Fingers. So, how Many fingers am I holding up here? Well....somebody, Anybody..ahhhh..come On folks, Help me Out here..How Many Fingers am I holding Up? Yeah, I don't have a Clue either. But by the time I'm finished, All of us will be able to count, and be just as 'smart' as I, myself, your great exalted 'leader' Governor Paul LePage, wishes he were.
Now that we have That out of the way, let me blab on about this little drug problem we have in our 'enlightened' State. It has recently come to my attention that there are some 'drug' users along with their drug suppliers that are actually Living, and some dying, in our little bitty sate. Yes folks, I said the 'D' word! Now seeing as how I'm about the only politician that has not been in the 'news' lately, I'll use this drug state of affairs to propel myself into the proverbial 'limelight' of Wordsmithery.
Now, I don't know why in the heck we have all these Drug problems here. There's just No respect! I mean, afterall, if you have a television you no doubt have seen that TV show, 'Maine Justice' on Saturday Night Live, where our woodsy police are practically throwing the 'book' at criminals dumb enough to get caught. So, why do we still have a problem Here, and how to we fix it, you might ask. And that's a good question, and fellow Maineiacs, I have the answer. You see, I, myself watch TV, and one night while eating a Pallet of twinkies, and Then Only because I didn't have Two pallets, I watched an old movie that was actually filmed in Real Life, on location as it happened, called 'Shadow of The Guillotine' where the Queen Marie Antoinette had her head chopped off because she was a bad person, I bet she was a drug pusher don't you. You know, I didn't even Know they had camers back then, amazing! I saw right away that she would Never be a bad person Ever again. Just like That! Amazing! This impressed me so very much that it gave me an idea; if it worked so well Then, why wouldn't it work Just as well Now. After carefully deliberating about it for a few seconds, I Always carefully 'think' things through before I make a 'sound' decision about matters that concern our great state, I decided that we should Guillotine All of our Drug Dealers, Off with their Heads, and actually, we might as well throw in a bunch of the Drug Users because most of Them are probably stealing, and killing, and selling drugs as well. I Really have No Other 'ideas' as to how we should handle this drug problem. I'm totally Stumped! I have also seen this work over in those beautiful Middle Eastern countries to great effect. And now that I've 'really' thought about it, we could include other types of criminals into the bucket of heads! Now I realize that occasionally we might lop off a few Innocent heads in the process but that's just the price of drug control. I'll build a special stadium where these executions can take place. There'll be plenty of seating for the public, and when there's no executions scheduled the stadium can be used for soccer events. A multi-use facility!
Now that I've had at least two minutes to 'think' this thing over, as you may know by now I am very 'meticulous' that way, I Do have another 'idea' as to how we can get this drug thing under control. As you all are very much aware of, in our great State of Maine, if you're big enough to hold a gun in your hand, it's legal for you to tote it around willy-nilly just as you darn well please, no questions asked. That's what makes all of us such good Maineiacs! I'm Always 'thinking' of ways to 'improve' the lives of my constituents. (Like myself, our great state is very foreward 'thinking' in matters that concern the safety and well being of our citizens) We made that snappy law so that in case we are invaded by, say...Iraq, or Syria or even those cruel barbarian ISIS people, then every last one of us can just start shooting the jeepers out of'em and make them swim right back to where they came from. This even works real well on those pesky rabid Moose around here! We are the first line of defense folks! So, What, you may ask, does This have to do with our drug dealers. Well, again, after thoughtful consideration of an important state issue, I have come up with the perfect plan; "Load Up And Get Rid Of The Drug Dealers"! That's right folks, that's what I Said, and you know exactly what I mean here. Until we get our Guillotine up and chopping, it's up to You, our 'law abiding' citizens to take matters into your Own hands in the form of your favorite idol, your own personal Gun, or 'gatts' as I like to call'em. Just load those babies up to maximum capacity, find yourself a drug dealer and have at'em, Ratta-Tat-Tat! No need to ask questions first as plenty of Those will come up later on. Remember, be sure your target is lined up in your sights, if at all possible make sure there's no 'innocent' child in your line of automatic fire, although like I said, sometimes an Innocent Person will become a victim, it is what it is, and then squeeze off thirty or forty well aimed shots. Ka-Pow, there goes another thug! Remember to reload Immediatly to be ready for the next criminal. Also, I see no reason that Drug dealers be the Only criminals that you can target. I mean afterall, a 'criminal is a criminal is a criminal.' So lets get busy all you armed to the teeth 'law Abiding' citizens of our great State of Maine, 'Lock n Load' and lets all do our fair share of cleaning out all those irritating criminals, and Even those who 'might' be!' :/ :/ :/
Maine Governor To Gun Owners: 'Load Up And Get Rid Of The Drug Dealers'
Republican Maine Gov. Paul LePage, in his latest controversial comments on how to deal with drug dealers, suggested the citizens of Maine drive them out with guns.
“Everybody in Maine, we have Constitutional Carry,” LePage told reporters on Jan. 27, according to WGME. “Load up and get rid of the drug dealers. Because folks, they’re killing our kids.”
The governor has had many colorful ideas for how to cleanse his state of narcotics dealers, including public executions. Maine abolished the death penalty in 1887, notes WGME.
“What I think we ought to do is bring the guillotine back,” LePage told WVOM on Jan. 26.
“We could have public executions and have, you know, we could even have guessing which hole it falls in.”
LePage is currently pushing for legislation to have drug dealers whose product leads to death be sentenced to 20 years to life in prison.
“We’ve got to go 20 years, we’ve got to keep them here until they die,” the governor said. “If you want my honest opinion, we should give them an injection of the stuff they sell.”
LePage was accused of conflating “drug traffickers” with African-Americans during a Jan. 6 town hall meeting, when he discussed his disdain for people who sell drugs, according to CNN.
LePage said:
“I made one slip-up,” the governor said. “I may have many slip-ups … Instead of saying, ‘Maine women,’ I said, ‘White women.’ I’m not going to apologize to the Maine women for that because if you go to Maine you will see we are essentially 95 percent white.”
Now the governor has suggested that the people of Maine rise up and drive narcotics peddlers out of the state.
“Where’s the outrage?” he asked, according to WGME. “Let’s get mad. Let’s stop it.”
He denied encouraging acts of vigilante justice but repeated that he would like drug dealers to face the death penalty.
“If you don’t try, you never get anywhere,” LePage concluded.
“Everybody in Maine, we have Constitutional Carry,” LePage told reporters on Jan. 27, according to WGME. “Load up and get rid of the drug dealers. Because folks, they’re killing our kids.”
The governor has had many colorful ideas for how to cleanse his state of narcotics dealers, including public executions. Maine abolished the death penalty in 1887, notes WGME.
“What I think we ought to do is bring the guillotine back,” LePage told WVOM on Jan. 26.
LePage is currently pushing for legislation to have drug dealers whose product leads to death be sentenced to 20 years to life in prison.
“We’ve got to go 20 years, we’ve got to keep them here until they die,” the governor said. “If you want my honest opinion, we should give them an injection of the stuff they sell.”
LePage was accused of conflating “drug traffickers” with African-Americans during a Jan. 6 town hall meeting, when he discussed his disdain for people who sell drugs, according to CNN.
LePage said:
"These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty. These type of guys. They come from Connecticut and New York, they come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we've got to deal with down the road."LePage gave a half-hearted apology for his remarks two days later.
“I made one slip-up,” the governor said. “I may have many slip-ups … Instead of saying, ‘Maine women,’ I said, ‘White women.’ I’m not going to apologize to the Maine women for that because if you go to Maine you will see we are essentially 95 percent white.”
Now the governor has suggested that the people of Maine rise up and drive narcotics peddlers out of the state.
“Where’s the outrage?” he asked, according to WGME. “Let’s get mad. Let’s stop it.”
He denied encouraging acts of vigilante justice but repeated that he would like drug dealers to face the death penalty.
“If you don’t try, you never get anywhere,” LePage concluded.
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