No Naked Statues For Mr.Rouhani

Attention! 'NewsFlash' Attention!
Coming straight to you from 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews) Where you will always find the 'straight Scoop' on WhatEver.
Well, by now even if the only news you get is when your Border Collie reads the news to you while you humor him with gobbs of 'GoodBoy,GoodBoy', you would know that Hassan Rouhani, (HR) President of Iran, You Know, that Tourist Friendly Vacation hotspot of the world, actually vacationed in Italy, the land of the GodFathers. Now That was a pretty long and laborious sentence, one your English Teacher would advise Against, so catch your breath while we fill you in on the particulars of Irans own GodFathers vacation.
Our globe trotting 'Reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) somehow managed to get wind of this little sojourn and sensing a hot 'scoop' of 'news', not to be confused with those little 'presents' your doggie leaves for you on the sidewalk, jetted off into the wild blue yonder. While safely snuggled into the luggage hold, BB was quick to take pen to paper to document every step of his 'fact' finding mission. Tune your radios for clear reception, grab a hotty totty and lets all become a better 'informed' populace while BB thrills us with his report.
BB: One of my overworked, and underpaid (if at All) snitches dropped a bombshell of a 'news' story on my busy desk. I shooed the chickens out of the way and could barely comprehend the magnitude of what I was reading. It struck me that the phrase 'It's a shrinking world out there' counts only when you're tucked in the nose of a Titan Missile as it hurtles at breakneck speed towards the far side of the Galaxy. But here I was sitting behind my cardboard box desk while seven thousand miles away on the Other side of the World, exciting 'news' was about to break. I had to go there. And fast! With my close connection to the 'higher-ups' in the Airlines Industry I was able to score a spot on a Clipper Jet to Italy. Until Now I never realized just how Small the unheated luggage compartments actually Are! My goal was to corner HR, and get his take on what it's like to be a dictator of a dustbowl. Upon arrival, and after thawing out in a tanning salon, I met with a confidential source who claimed to have close ties to HR. It appeared that HR's little 'trip' was More than just a 'vacation', and more of a suck-up visit to the Italian Government in order to score some lucrative business deals, and of course the Italians would be rolling in big bucks from a country of human rights violations extraordinaire. Unfortunatly, I arrived on the very day of HR's visit, and sadly I was unable to get a one on one with his Excellency, which was just as well because I assumed that as well as speaking Farsi, he would also know the Italian language. But Not! To prepare for that event I became fluent in the Italian lingo while traveling in the luggage hold. 'Buonigiorno a tutti!' 'Una sola lingua non e mai abbastanza.'  Had I known, I would have learned Farsi as well, But it was not to be. But oh, what I Did discover while there! It seems that HR had told the Italians that there were certain conditions they would have to Meet if they wanted his 'business'. They were as follows; All businesses in Rome, where he was to visit, that operate Sex Shops must be closed during his visit. All Women must wear the Burka, no skin can be seen, all women must be accompained by a male relative when outdoors, all pigs must be taken from the city, no men can have a prettier Beard than he himself, no one can show signs of being Happy, no Music can be played, no Movies can be viewed, and all citizens of Rome must convert from Cathalic to Muslim. And of course the Italian Government couldn't sign fast enough such was their greed for blood money from a ruthless regime. Two days prior to HR's visit he shipped in squads of Female Burka Enforcement goons, yes, they are All Females, who of course were dressed in the traditional Burkas complete with an AK-47 and camel Whips. They freely roamed the streets of Rome metting out punishment as prescribed, to those women who were caught without their Burkas or who showed even the slightest of head hair or body skin. It appears that more than a Few unfortunates were either whipped, shot or beheaded where they were 'caught'. Someone who claimed to be a 'spokesperson' for HR, but who later was determined to simply be a Writer of Satirical Ramblings, told the Italian Government that HR would be gravely offended were he to see Any Naked Statues, in the form of Men Or Women, as he considers the naked body to be a 'sin', never mind that it is 'rumored' that he has a harem of one thousand who All are Naked under all their clothing, and that all businesses that sell Alcoholic beverage must be closed. Hearing This brought a shiver to the Italians, What, No Wine!? But not wanting to offend such an honored guest they ordered that all statues in Rome, especially those in the world famous Museum of Rome where HR hinted that he might tour, be covered up or destroyed. So off they went, hammer and saws in hand feverishly building wooden box's around all of Romes Naked Statues, they even covered Animal statues that showed their 'private parts'. The Italian authorities warned Everyone to clean up their Speech and to Not use words like, Testical, Breast, Sex, and all slang words that are sometimes used in stead of. To enforce this warning they said that Violators would be Deported, and Exiled for life to Southern Italy. This would be akin to an American being threatened to be exiled to South Carolina in the States. Not to be under done with all These conditions, the Italian went one step, or maybe two or more, further, in order to make his greatness HR feel at home during his, And Their own, suck-up visit. They ordered three thousand Camels and Donkeys to be shipped to Rome. All motor vehicles were banned from the street and these animals were turned loose to roam the street at will. All building were draped with sand colored cloth to resemble..., well, Sanddunes. Apparenty, the Italian Government is so hard up for money that they were willing to prostitute themselves and their country for a handfull of dirty oil money. Strange bedbug bedfellows indeed. In the end, as HR was mounting his favorite camel, to Ride it of course, to head back to his Own desert he was heard to remark to one of his aides; 'These stupid Italians are strange indeed. They have no Artistic imagination at all. They build Wooden Boxes but Carve Nothing at all, their Street are filthy and knee deep in camal dung, all these Animals running around Loose! This place is just one big Dirt bowl, I couldn't even get a decent Martini here!'
And then all he left was a trail of dust as he rode off into the sunset, wondering, Who Are these people? And the Italians stood there eating HR's dust, wondering, Yes, just Who the Hell Are we?  :/ :/


And so ended my sojourn back in time, still dissapointed that I could not corner this elusive camal driver, but happy to return home. What was 'learned' here? Did the Italian government prostitute themselves and their country in order to favor their supposed new BFF at the expense of their self esteem? Time will tell. Is HR up to new tricks now that sanctions have been lifted? Time will tell.
But you can Bet that BuddyBlack will keep nose to the grindstone, and when 'news' breaks you'll be the first, or somewhere in line, to know the 'facts', as we 'know' them to be.
And so ends yet another exciting and revealing 'news'cast brought to you by our daring and dashing 'Reporter' of the moment, and BBSN station!  Tune in again boys and girls. Where there's 'news', There, we shall Be. ;) ;)

Italy covers up naked statues and bans wine for visit of Iranian President Hassan Rouhani

Ancient marbles exhibited at Musei Capitolini hid behind white panels for official visit.

ibtimes.co.uk|By Umberto Bacchi

Lock 'n Load In Maine

'Ok, Everyone who legally lives in our grand State of Maine, and My 'State of Confusion', today we're having our very first 'class' on how to Count using our Fingers. So, how Many fingers am I holding up here? Well....somebody, Anybody..ahhhh..come On folks, Help me Out here..How Many Fingers am I holding Up? Yeah, I don't have a Clue either. But by the time I'm finished, All of us will be able to count, and be just as 'smart' as I, myself, your great exalted 'leader' Governor Paul LePage, wishes he were.
Now that we have That out of the way, let me blab on about this little drug problem we have in our 'enlightened' State. It has recently come to my attention that there are some 'drug' users along with their drug suppliers that are actually Living, and some dying, in our little bitty sate. Yes folks, I said the 'D' word! Now seeing as how I'm about the only politician that has not been in the 'news' lately, I'll use this drug state of affairs to propel myself into the proverbial 'limelight' of Wordsmithery.
Now, I don't know why in the heck we have all these Drug problems here. There's just No respect! I mean, afterall, if you have a television you no doubt have seen that TV show, 'Maine Justice' on Saturday Night Live, where our woodsy police are practically throwing the 'book' at criminals dumb enough to get caught. So, why do we still have a problem Here, and how to we fix it, you might ask. And that's a good question, and fellow Maineiacs, I have the answer. You see, I, myself watch TV, and one night while eating a Pallet of twinkies, and Then Only because I didn't have Two pallets, I watched an old movie that was actually filmed in Real Life, on location as it happened, called 'Shadow of The Guillotine' where the Queen Marie Antoinette had her head chopped off because she was a bad person, I bet she was a drug pusher don't you. You know, I didn't even Know they had camers back then, amazing! I saw right away that she would Never be a bad person Ever again. Just like That! Amazing! This impressed me so very much that it gave me an idea; if it worked so well Then, why wouldn't it work Just as well Now. After carefully deliberating about it for a few seconds, I Always carefully 'think' things through before I make a 'sound' decision about matters that concern our great state, I decided that we should Guillotine All of our Drug Dealers, Off with their Heads, and actually, we might as well throw in a bunch of the Drug Users because most of Them are probably stealing, and killing, and selling drugs as well. I Really have No Other 'ideas' as to how we should handle this drug problem. I'm totally Stumped! I have also seen this work over in those beautiful Middle Eastern countries to great effect. And now that I've 'really' thought about it, we could include other types of criminals into the bucket of heads! Now I realize that occasionally we might lop off a few Innocent heads in the process but that's just the price of drug control. I'll build a special stadium where these executions can take place. There'll be plenty of seating for the public, and when there's no executions scheduled the stadium can be used for soccer events. A multi-use facility!
Now that I've had at least two minutes to 'think' this thing over, as you may know by now I am very 'meticulous' that way, I Do have another 'idea' as to how we can get this drug thing under control. As you all are very much aware of, in our great State of Maine, if you're big enough to hold a gun in your hand, it's legal for you to tote it around willy-nilly just as you darn well please, no questions asked. That's what makes all of us such good Maineiacs!  I'm Always 'thinking' of ways to 'improve' the lives of my constituents. (Like myself, our great state is very foreward 'thinking' in matters that concern the safety and well being of our citizens) We made that snappy law so that in case we are invaded by, say...Iraq, or Syria or even those cruel barbarian ISIS people, then every last one of us can just start shooting the jeepers out of'em and make them swim right back to where they came from. This even works real well on those pesky rabid Moose around here! We are the first line of defense folks! So, What, you may ask, does This have to do with our drug dealers. Well, again, after thoughtful consideration of an important state issue, I have come up with the perfect plan; "Load Up And Get Rid Of The Drug Dealers"! That's right folks, that's what I Said, and you know exactly what I mean here. Until we get our Guillotine up and chopping, it's up to You, our 'law abiding' citizens to take matters into your Own hands in the form of your favorite idol, your own personal Gun, or 'gatts' as I like to call'em. Just load those babies up to maximum capacity, find yourself a drug dealer and have at'em, Ratta-Tat-Tat! No need to ask questions first as plenty of Those will come up later on. Remember, be sure your target is lined up in your sights, if at all possible make sure there's no 'innocent' child in your line of automatic fire, although like I said, sometimes an Innocent Person will become a victim, it is what it is, and then squeeze off thirty or forty well aimed shots. Ka-Pow, there goes another thug! Remember to reload Immediatly to be ready for the next criminal. Also, I see no reason that Drug dealers be the Only criminals that you can target. I mean afterall, a 'criminal is a criminal is a criminal.' So lets get busy all you armed to the teeth 'law Abiding' citizens of our great State of Maine, 'Lock n Load' and lets all do our fair share of cleaning out all those irritating criminals, and Even those who 'might' be!' :/ :/ :/ 

 

Maine Governor To Gun Owners: 'Load Up And Get Rid Of The Drug Dealers'

 

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By Robert Fowler, Thu, January 28, 2016

Republican Maine Gov. Paul LePage, in his latest controversial comments on how to deal with drug dealers, suggested the citizens of Maine drive them out with guns.
“Everybody in Maine, we have Constitutional Carry,” LePage told reporters on Jan. 27, according to WGME. “Load up and get rid of the drug dealers. Because folks, they’re killing our kids.”
The governor has had many colorful ideas for how to cleanse his state of narcotics dealers, including public executions. Maine abolished the death penalty in 1887, notes WGME.
“What I think we ought to do is bring the guillotine back,” LePage told WVOM on Jan. 26.

“We could have public executions and have, you know, we could even have guessing which hole it falls in.”
LePage is currently pushing for legislation to have drug dealers whose product leads to death be sentenced to 20 years to life in prison.
“We’ve got to go 20 years, we’ve got to keep them here until they die,” the governor said. “If you want my honest opinion, we should give them an injection of the stuff they sell.”
LePage was accused of conflating “drug traffickers” with African-Americans during a Jan. 6 town hall meeting, when he discussed his disdain for people who sell drugs, according to CNN.
LePage said:

"These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty. These type of guys. They come from Connecticut and New York, they come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we've got to deal with down the road."

LePage gave a half-hearted apology for his remarks two days later.
“I made one slip-up,” the governor said. “I may have many slip-ups … Instead of saying, ‘Maine women,’ I said, ‘White women.’ I’m not going to apologize to the Maine women for that because if you go to Maine you will see we are essentially 95 percent white.”
Now the governor has suggested that the people of Maine rise up and drive narcotics peddlers out of the state.
“Where’s the outrage?” he asked, according to WGME. “Let’s get mad. Let’s stop it.”
He denied encouraging acts of vigilante justice but repeated that he would like drug dealers to face the death penalty.
“If you don’t try, you never get anywhere,” LePage concluded.

Sources: CNN, WGME, WVOM / Photo credit: Matt Gagnon/Wikimedia Commons

Trump Is Not Afraid Of Women Reporters

'I'm Not going to go there! Not! Not going to! That stupid Woman, I'm fairly certain she Is one, but who knows, is gonna be there, and I just don't want to make her look bad. As if that's at all Possible. Look, everyone who knows me, Knows that I love females. All females! I mentioned once before that my Mother is a woman. My Wife is a woman for crying out loud. I have a lot of great women in my life, and you know what, I love them all. I even 'love' that female rep...orter Megyn Kelly. I do. She's a great woman. We're good friends. And she likes Me a lot too. But you know what? She's a nasty person! Nasty! Terrible! She's just plain Mean! And just Look at that face! Awful! She's a nasty Person, and a nasty Reporter! I've got no use for her. The lies she tells! And those questions she asks, and expects an Answer to! What's With that? Hey, I'm the 'star' here, I tell Them what questions they can ask Me. That's how the freedom of the press works in My world. I Tell Them! Otherwise they are not allowed at Any event that I'm appearing in. What Are they Thinking? They aren't! Women Reporters don't know How to think, not to mention being a 'reporter'. I told Fox News that if they don't fire her, then I will! Megyn Kelly, You're Fired! Fired! You're done girl, outta my face! I tell you, when I'm the President, and I Will be, mainly because I Say things that Paronoid people like to hear so they'll Vote for me, Reporters, especially Women Reporters will Not be allowed anywhere Near the White House. They are So Vile! I just don't get it. What's their actual purpose in life? Does Anyone even Know? I don't get it!
So, like I said, to keep from embarrassing her, or hurting her feelings, if she even Has any, or making her feel like she has to come up with some more stupid asinine questions, that Everyone Knows I wouldn't answer in the First place, I'm gonna just boycott this coming Republican Debate. And you know what, I'll get more 'Press' off This Boycott than if I actually attended the debate. How about That folks! Plus, I won't have to fight some nasty woman reporter in the process. Now, some idiots, probably Reporters, are saying that I'm Scared of that Kelly woman. That I don't have the 'man parts' to face her again. If I find out who said that, I'll ban them for life from 'reporting' Anything. They won't be able to cover a cub scout meeting! I'm not afraid of Anyone or Anything, especially a Woman..Reporter...really..I'm not Kidding..no, Really! Please vote for me..'  :/ :/ :/

 

 

 

Donald Trump vows to boycott Republican debate - FT.com

Donald Trump, the property mogul running for the White House, plans to skip the final Republican presidential debate before the Iowa caucuses after Fox News mocked…

ft.com

What????

After much 'soul' searching and gnashing of teeth, the movie Industry has now re-defined, twirked, tweetered, and interpreted the term 'Diversity', in the Movie Industry, to fit their Own 'definition' of the term, by casting a White Man to Portray a Black Man, as in Michael Jackson, in an up and coming Movie.
And not to be outdone with This brilliant decision, rumors have it that in a future blockbuster, Black actor Spike Lee will be portraying President Theodore oosevelt from early childhhod through his rise to U.S. President.
When asked 'What in this world were you 'Thinking', the Movie Industry said, 'We sure Are'!   :/ :/

A white British man will play Michael Jackson in an upcoming road trip movie

And the award for racial insensitivity goes to...

qz.com|By Richard Macauley

Pat Can 'See' The Demons

'My Lord! I have never seen such a thing in my Life! And you know, I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't Seen it with my very own eyes myself. I'm not just a great spiritial 'leader' of lost souls folks, the good Lord has given Me, Pat Robertson, and Only me, the special power to 'see' the things that ordinary mortals can only Hope to see. Most folks just 'look' but they do not See, most folks 'hear' but they do not Listen, most folks 'touch' but they do not Feel. Well, let me asure you, That is Not one of My problems. I hover way above regular mortal beings. I fly higher than the perverbial Eagles, I am in a sense, 'Gods right hand man'. He has given me the Power, the Wonder working power of the Lord, Jesus Christ almighty. Oh, and I can also See Demons on donated clothing. Yes, folks, on Donated Clothing! Actually, this is a pretty cOOl power I got here. Actually, I didn't realize that I even possessed this nifty nack until one day I was in a Goodwill store checking out donated suits. Here, I'll let you in on a little known secret, sometimes people are stupid enough to not clean out the Pockets of their suits when they donate them. Oh my Holy Saints in Heaven, they sometimes leave Money, Jewelery, Bearer Bonds and all Kinds of treasure in those things! Praise the Lord, and pass the 'Plate'!! Well anyway, here I was turning pockets inside out, 'flipping' as I like to call it, when all of a Sudden out of the corner of my eye I see some movement amongst the suits. Being a spirituial person my First thought was that an Angel had caught me flipping pockets, but much to my relief I saw that was not the case. What I saw was actually little bitty Demons jumping around on those suits. They weren't even trying to hide from me, almost as if they Wanted me to See them. Well praise the Lord, it worked, because I Did see them. I think they were daring me to give them a Godly swat back to where they came from! They were up to No good! You see, demons are like that, they have never been Known to do gOOd. Always looking for trouble, or to cause trouble. Now I know you're gonna ask Why did the good Lord even invent demons in the first place, and you know what folks, that's a real good question, but look, we're talking about demons in donated clothing right now. So then, I looked around the store, just casual like, not wanting to cause a scene or a wild stampeed of frightened shoppers, so I was pretty cool and low key about it. But Lord all Mighty, just about everywhere I looked I saw more and more and more demons. Right away I Knew that the good Lord was testing me. He does that a Lot it seems. I bet he tests a lot of people, but myself in particular. Well, I headed for the exit. But it was too late. Those demons had attached themselves to my own clothing, and no matter how I tried, I could not for the life of me, brush them all off! They were like Sticktights! Like cowburrs on a cows tail! Like a booger you can't get off your finger! I rushed myself home and threw my clothes, after checking my pockets of course, into the washer, filled it with Demon-Buster Bleach that I keep on hand just in case, and turned that thing on Heavenly Duty! Let me assure you that those pesky demons went right down the drain, right back to where they came from! So folks, Yes, in case you have Ever wondered, Demons Can, and most certainly Do attach themselves to Donated clothing, and like fleas on a junkyard dog, they will jump off those things right onto you and next thing you know, they'll be causing trouble. My advice is that you look very closely with Godlike vision at clothing, or Anything, in a second hand store for these demons. If you would like to have the 'power' that I, myself, have, that enables me to See these secondhand demons, just say my Name Six Times, spin around three times, and place your hand on my picture right here on the screen, and say out loud, I Believe, I Believe I can See Demons! Or just send a small donation, or just call me at 555-555-1234. Praise the Lord, and pass the 'Plate'! ;);)

Pat Robertson Says Demons Attach Themselves to Clothes

--Pat Robertson Says Demons Could Attach Themselves to Clothes from Goodwill. --On the Bonus Show: Professor caught watching porn in class,…

youtube.com

 

In Kansas, It's A 'Mans' World

'Ok guys, lock that door, we gotta have a 'meeting' about this 'woman' situation going on around here. First off, I don't know how in this world these broads made it to the positions they now hold. I think we All know the 'position' that we like them in the Best, if you get my 'meaning'. Now, a lot of you fellows have ask me, 'Mitch, how are we gonna get a handle on these broads that think they can just come out in Public dressed just any ol' way tjhey want to?'. Now here...'s what we're gonna do boys. I don't know how they handle a situation as serious as This in Other States, but here in Kansas I think we All know what to do. If you boys remember back in the good ol' days of the 1950's we Men had Control of our Women, and when we said Jump, they asked 'How High Sir'. They had to wear long dresses, no high heel shoes that made'em taller than us, no Pants or Shorts where they'd try to dress like Men, none of that loud make-up and gaudy lipstick, and God forbid they should try to drive a car, or get a job that a Man should be doing. A 'good' woman was one that stayed at home, in the kitchen, and pregnant, preferably by her ever 'faithful' Husband. Somehow we let those wonderful days slip away from us, and Now look at what's happening! Good Lord, they're wearing dresses, and skirts above their naked knees! That's right boys, Naked legs! And just look at those Shirts they're wearing! You can actually See their naked breasts, or at least a lot of it. It's so darn distracting that you can't help but Look, and wonder what Else is in there! They are tempting us on purpose boys! We're not getting a darn thing Done around here because of it! Where's their Morals gone for cryin' out loud!? Don't they have Husbands? Well, it's up to Us to reel those loose women in boys! From now on it's gonna be 1950 all over agin around here! We gotta set some Woman 'rules' so they know where their 'place' in life is. If they want to be 'lawmakers' they are gonna have to Follow some 'Laws' first. Those short dresses and Skirts are Banned! No more High Heels! They gotta wear Shirts with Collars buttoned all the way up, no more teasing us with those golden globes! They gotta have Woman haircuts, and little if Any makeup. No more Naked legs, stockings will take care of That little problem. We rule the roost boys, we don't need no Rules or guidelines for Our Dress Code, we Men already know how to do it. And Now these frivilous Women are gonna learn, or they gotta go!  :/ :/ :/

Female Lawmakers In Kansas Are Not Having It With This Bullsh*t Dress Code

"Oh, for crying out loud, what century is this?"

01/23/2016 10:34 am ET

X

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — A dress code imposed by a Kansas Senate committee chairman that prohibits women testifying on bills from wearing low-cut necklines and miniskirts is drawing bipartisan ridicule from female legislators.
Sen. Mitch Holmes' 11-point code of conduct does not include any restrictions on men, who he said needed no instruction on how to look professional, The Topeka Capital-Journal reported (http://bit.ly/1TbpCGt ).

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Kansas House Pensions and Benefits Committee Chairman Mitch Holmes, pictured here in a 2011 photo, imposed a dress code prohibiting women giving testimony on bills from wearing "low-cut" necklines and "miniskirts."

"Oh, for crying out loud, what century is this?" Sen. Laura Kelly, a Topeka Democrat, said Thursday.
Holmes, a 53-year-old Republican from St. John who is chairman of the Senate Ethics and Elections Committee, said he wrote the instruction because provocatively dressed women are a distraction. The guidelines don't detail a minimum skirt length or a permissible neckline for blouses.
"It's one of those things that's hard to define," Holmes said. "Put it out there and let people know we're really looking for you to be addressing the issue rather than trying to distract or bring eyes to yourself."
Holmes said he considered requiring men to wear suits and ties during testimony but decided males didn't need any guidance. He expects lobbyists to understand the rules when interacting with his committee, although he acknowledged infrequent visitors to the Statehouse might be unaware.
Female senators said no one should impose gender-specific demands on those testifying before committees.
"Who's going to define low-cut?" said Sen. Vicki Schmidt, a Topeka Republican. "Does it apply to senators?"
Sen. Carolyn McGinn, a Sedgwick Republican, said people who don't have clothes that meet Holmes' standards might be deterred from testifying.
"I am more interested in what they have to say about the direction our state should go than what they're wearing that day," McGinn said.
Wichita Sen. Oletha Faust-Goudeau, the ranking Democrat on the Senate's elections and ethics committee, said people testifying before committees ought to present themselves in a professional way but she was put off by the lack of consistency for men and women.
"In my 13 years in the Legislature, that's the first time I've ever read anything like that," Faust-Goudeau said. "I thought it was a little strange."
Senate President Susan Wagle, a Wichita Republican, predicted the committee will reconsider the dress code Wednesday at its next meeting. Wagle, who is a member of the committee but wasn't present when the rules were given to members, indicated she isn't inclined to intervene personally.
"The legislative process eventually always evolves to a consensus of the majority without leadership having to take action," she told The Associated Press.
Senate Minority Leader Anthony Hensley, a Topeka Democrat, told the AP that the "irony" of the dress code was that it came from a committee that "should be more concerned about violations of campus finance law than what women wear."
"Coming from a man, I think it's important that women are supported in the choices that they make for themselves," he said.
___
Information from: The Topeka (Kan.) Capital-Journal, http://www.cjonline.com

The kkk Has a 'Dream'

'NEWSFLASH,NEWSFLASH'! ANOTHER EXCITING 'NEWSFLASH"
Brought Straight to you from our 'News' Station 'BBSN' (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews).
As you know by now, the infamous, barely invisable kkk (no need to Capiltalize a thing such as This) has litterly Littered the lawns of a few residents of Mobile, Alabama, USA, with so called 'recruitment' flyers tucked within those snappy ziplock sandwich baggies. What a clever way to utilize those handy baggies. Our brave of heart, and ever eager 'Reporter' BuddyBlack sniffed the air and sensed a 'news' coupe, and off he galloped to corner the 'leader' of the klan in the sorbid form of none other than grand wizard Frank Ancona . Lets tune in our newsy ears while BuddyBlack (BB) dwelves into the phobic mind of that grand wizard (GW) of that not so nearly invisible social club, kkk. Shhhh..lets listen in now...

BB: Thanks a whole bunch for agreeing to this one on one interview GW. I really like your Toga Sheet outfit!
GW: It ain't a 'toga', it's my 'uniform'!
BB: Now I understand that your little club espouses All American values, and that you are totally against people and products from countries outside the United States. What exactly Is your stand in regards to that?
GW: Weun's is one hundred percent White Americans an we all stand for American made stuff and all that. This here is America and we don't cotton to no foreigners. We all like to think of us as an All White, All American Club.
BB: I hear what you're saying GW. And while we're on the subject of 'cotton', I notice that the 'Product label' on your 'uniform' as you call it, indicates that the Sheet you made your 'uniform' out of, was manufactured in China. How do you reconcile 'saying' One thing, yet 'doing' the opposite?
GW: (kicking a dirt ball, scratching his head, figgiting, no response)
BB: Are all your 'club' members pure blooded Caucasions?
GW: Absolutly! They ain't no mixed blood people allowed!
BB: Well, I guess that would apply to You,Yourself?
GW: Absolutly!
BB: Welllll, how do you insure that All your 'club' members do Not have, say..Hispanic, or perhaps Italion, or God forbid, African blood mixed in there gushing with their 'All White' blood cells?
GW: Oh, we have our Ways to make sure of That. There's forms they gotta fill out, and we can just Look at'em and believe you me, we'll know pretty quick.
BB: Yeah...so you can tell just by looking and I'm Sure that your 'prospects' Always tell the Truth. How about a DNA test? Ever do one of Those to weed out the mixedblooders? Ever done a DNA on Yourself for instance?
GW: (doing the foot shuffle, picking an imaginary booger, looking right and left, exhibiting the fight or flight syndrome, avoiding eye contact)
BB: Has the kkk, in Any form, at Any time in its past been responsible for doing violience against a Non White person?
GW: Oh shucks, I can Answer That one. No, Never! We don't condone no meaness agin nobody. We are just as peaceful, and friendly as a junkyard dog. If'n we hear of one of our 'club' members even thankin' 'bout hurtin' somebody, we take their card away an send'em home.
BB: I read that you believe in the Bible and are a faithful Christian. Do you believe that the sign of the Cross is a sacred symble?
GW: Oh good Lord Yes! We would defend that Cross of Christ to the death!
BB: Well, explain to us why you Burn that very Cross during your little 'club' Rally's, and in the Yards of the homes of Black Families. I mean, after all, what would Jesus do?
GW: (pretending to answer his cell phone, pretending to talk with someone)
BB: Why are your Hoods pointy at the top, and why wear Sheets, that by the way, are made in China, and which you insist on calling your 'uniform'?
GW: This here is 'Southern Pride' son, a tradition handed down from father to son since way back yonder 'fore we was even borned. We carry on the White Pride that we fought for during the war of the northern invasion of the south. They wanted to take our 'property rights' away from us and we wont gonna let'em.
BB: You Do realize that the Civil War ended in 1865 with the Southern Secessionist States finally Surrendering, thus ending Slavery, or as you call it your 'property rights'?
GW: As long as there's a full blooded white man in the South, that war, as you call it, will Never be done son.
BB: So if I understand it correctly, your 'club' does not like, in fact Hates, Blacks, Jews, Italion, Hispanics, Gays, Indians, and well, everyone that's Not like yourselves. Fair statement?
GW: You hit the nail on the head boy!
BB: So, you pretty much know about Everyone in your 'club'. Do you have any Gays?
GW: Nary a one! That'd be one Dead Man!
BB: How do you 'test' a person for 'gayness'?
GW: We hate them peoples, we can tell one right off.
BB: Are you homophobic?
GW: Now I ain't called You no nasty names boy, don't you be calling me one of Them! I ain't Never been with no man, not even crossed my mind that I know of, and I Think I'd be knowin'!
BB: When was your 'club' actually founded?
GW: Well, it was way over a hundred years ago. A long time ago.
BB: Does 1865 ring a bell with you, just in case someone else asks you?
GW: That's probably about right.
BB: Your 'club' members littered lawns during the night here in Mobile. Why didn't you do it during the Daylight hours instead of in the dead of darkness?
GW: It's just safer that way, less traffic on the streets.
BB: Do you consider yourself to be a Paronoid person?
GW: A pair of What??
BB: What Other Phobia's do you have that you'd like to admit to?
GW: They ain't nothin' wrong with me, I'm healthy as can be. Boy, I'm tired of bein' called vile names! I gotta go now, gotta throw my 'uniform' in the wash, smellin' kinda sweaty here!

And so ends Another dumpester dive by our intrepid 'reporter' BuddyBlack, into the possibly vague and paronoid mind of one who murks around in the halflife of neither here nor there. Join us again when BB dares to tread where others even fear to 'Think.'  :/  ;);)

 

The KKK Sends Recruitment Flyers That Read 'We Also Have a Dream'

By Katrina Manning on 2016-01-22

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Over the weekend, flyers were found tucked in sandwich bags and left on lawns in Mobile, Alabama's midtown area. The flyers read "WE ALSO HAVE A DREAM," as they wished Dr. Martin Luther King Jr a happy birthday.
The flyers also read "The blacks have NAACP, the Mexicans have La Raza, the Jews have JDL, and white people have the KKK."
It came with an illustration of a Klansman wearing a hooded robe and the phrase "The KKK Wants You!"
Resident Tricia Butts told WPMI, "Luckily I didn't get one on my door. I think a neighbor must have come by and grabbed it before we could see it, but I'm kind of shocked to see something like that on our street."

Photo: Blogs Tallahassee

Obama Made Him Do It

'Darn that Obama! Here my wonderful, even tempered son was just minding his Own business when along comes that Busybody Obama, and makes him get into a bit of trouble! Darn it all! Hey, you know what, That's just like him to Do something like that! I could rattle off just Dozens of things that Obama has done that has made millions of innocent people get into trouble. And Now here he is picking on my very Son! I barely even know who the heck that woman Is that Obama made... him smack up side her head, and then kick her stupid knee. She probably deserved every bit of it! My boy wouldn't do something like that if it wasn't warrented. And as far as him threatening her with his AR-15, he was just defending himself from a stupid woman! He knows how to use that thing, if he wanted to pop a cap in her butt it'd be easy to Do it, but you know what, he didn't cuse he has incredible Self Control. That's because I taught him how to Have self control. I taught that boy Everything he 'knows'. And If he Was intoxicated, and I'm not sayin' he Was or Wasn't, he knows just how much he can drink before he gets over the edge, which he obviously wasn't because he was walking without Any help at all this time. But you know what? If it wasn't for that Obama my boy wouldn't be getting mad over his girlfriends ex-boyfriend in the First place. Obama sent my boy to Iraq, so from now on, Anything that happens to him is Obama's fault! My son suffers from PTSD and it's Obama's fault! That girl was probably still messing around with her 'ex'-boyfriend, and I'm not sayin' she was or wasn't, that's enough to make Anyone mad as all git out, but if not for Obama he wouldn't even Care that she might have been still seeing her 'ex'-boyfriend, geeWhiz folks! Hey, who Hasn't taken a little 'swing' at someone you might be mad at? I'd say she came out on the 'easy' side of this little lovers spat. And you know what, that's all it amounted to. They'll kiss and make up tomorrow, I'll probably run down to the D.A'.s office, have a little 'chat' with'em and everybody will live happily everafter. That's how it is up here in Alaska. We all look out for one another. Lover spats happen all the time up here, it's no big deal. Why, before you know it, that silly girl will be knocked up and they'll have a nice shotgun wedding and life will go on. Lighten up folks! This is Alaska life!' :/

 

 

Sarah Palin Somehow Links Son's Domestic Violence Arrest To Obama

"My son, like so many others, they come back a bit different. They come back hardened."

01/20/2016 03:18 pm ET|Updated4 hours ago

• Igor BobicAssociate Politics Editor, The Huffington Post

X

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on Wednesday linked her son's domestic violence arrest to President Barack Obama's treatment of veterans.
Track Palin, a 26-year-old Iraq veteran, was arrested in Wasilla on Tuesday on domestic violence and weapons charges in an incident involving a woman, according to Gawker.
Palin decided to address what she called "the elephant in the room" during a campaign rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, before she introduced Donald Trump, whom she endorsed Tuesday.
"My son, like so many others, they come back a bit different. They come back hardened, they come back wondering if there's that respect for what it is their fellow soldiers and airmen and every other member of the military have so sacrificially given to this country," Palin said, adding that she can "relate with other families who can feel these ramifications of PTSD and some of the woundedness our soldiers do return with."
Palin went on to criticize the Obama administration's treatment of veterans, implying that the president had something to do with her son's situation.
"It starts from the top, the question though, that comes from our own president, where they have to look at him and wonder, 'Do you know what we have to go through?'"
Palin was the Republican vice presidential nominee in 2008.

 

 

Sarah Palin's Son, Track, Arrested on Eve of Donald Trump Endorsement

by Erin Calabrese

Less than 24 hours before she endorsed Donald Trump, Sarah Palin's son was arrested on domestic violence charges, police in Wasilla, Alaska, said Tuesday.
Track Palin, the former governor and vice president candidate's 26-year-old son, was arrested and charged with interfering with the report of a domestic violence, possession of a firearm while intoxicated and assault on his girlfriend, which are all misdemeanors, police said.

Track Palin in 2008. Justin Sullivan / Getty Images, file

Around 10 p.m. Monday local time (2 a.m. Tuesday ET) a police officer responded to a 911 call at the Palin household in Wasilla. The officer wrote that when he met Track Palin in the driveway he was "uncooperative, belligerent and evasive with my initial line of questioning," court documents show.
Track and his girlfriend of one year had been arguing about her contact with an ex-boyfriend most of the day, even during a dinner at his sister's house, before returning to the house where he lives with his parents, according to the court documents.

The girlfriend, who NBC News is not naming because she is a victim of alleged domestic abuse, told a police officer at the scene that Track approached her and, "struck her on the left side of her head near her eye with a closed fist," sending her to the ground, where she curled up into a fetal position, the documents show.
Track then allegedly kicked his girlfriend in the right knee, and threw her phone across the driveway, the girlfriend told police. She then ran to retrieve her phone and ran back inside the Palin home, where she was met by Track — and his AR-15 rifle, according to the court documents.
Track allegedly cocked the weapon and menaced the girlfriend by asking, "Do you think I'm a p-ssy?" and "Do you think I won't do it?" documents said.
The girlfriend, not sure if Track "would shoot himself," ran outside and around the house — losing sight of Track — and ran to hide under a bed, documents said.
Track Palin was arraigned in Palmer District Court and was released after posting $1500 bail later Tuesday. The courts didn't immediately have a lawyer on record for him.

Pat Says It's Satans Music

'Oh my goodness folks, 'Pat' here, I have no doubt that 'Rock' music is the work of Satan. This stuff summons Satan to enter a childs head where he sets up shop, ruining that child forever. Just look around you, you'll see people who became addicted to evil Rock n Roll music at a very young age when they should have been singing Jesus songs instead. You can Tell who these demented people are just by paying attention as you go about your business. They'll have long hair, brightly coloured clothing, tattos, dirty bell bottomed jeans, usually carrying a guitar, and most often driving a VW Bus with flowers and 'peace' signs painted all over it. And if you get close enough, but be careful there, not Too Close, you'll smell the devils weed that they are addicted to. Just one little whiff, and you'll be addicted to it! Always hold your breathe when around these type of sinners. They listen to records played in reverse which is how they hear what a song Really means, which is the Devils lyrics. I, myself, have listened, in a 'clinical educational' setting of course, to some of this 'music', if you can even Call it That, played in Reverse, and words just cannot describe what I have heard! It's blasphamey I tell you! Blasphemey! I remember the very first song I listened to in Reverse. It was that song called 'How Much is that doggie in the window'. Well, let me tell you that when played backwards it's not about 'doggies' At All! Pure evil! Luckily when I was young I was also stronger, and Much more intelligent than others my age, and did not get hooked on the devils verses, and got hooked on the Good Lords verses instead. Now that I am older, some think I'm not only Older but also a little feeble brained, I'm happy that I'm able to use my wisdom to help people shun this satan music. So, my sagely advice to all parents out there, beware, the devil works in mysterious ways. If your child is listening to Rock music, that child already has one foot in the devils doorway. You must work quickly to Close that Door and help shun the demons that are trying to enter. Download one of my 'Shun the Devil' videos or just order one of my cassette video Tapes for only $19.99. All proceeds go towards shunning the devil. I tell you it's not cheap keeping the demons at bay!
I've never seen a 'devil' that I couldn't stop at the door'.  :/ :/


 PAT ROBERTSON: Beware Satanic Rock Music That 'Summons Demons'

Submitted by Brian Tashman on Tuesday, 1/12/2016 12:20 pm Today on “The 700 Club,”
Pat Robertson fielded a question from a teenage viewer who wanted to know if it is a sin to listen to rock music. The televangelist said that while people shouldn’t try to completely avoid mainstream music, they should be wary of listening to songs that may contain violent, Satanic lyrics and beats that could summon demonic beings. “It depends on what rock you’re listening to,” he said. “Some of the stuff is just evil. They used to talk about killing your parents and there were just some other things. There were odes to Satan. You don’t want that stuff coming into your mind. There’s some beat that’s out there that, you know, probably isn’t all that bad, although in one Indian context, they were playing rock music and the person said, ‘Why are you calling on the demons?,’ because that was the kind of music they used to summon demons.” - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/…/pat-robertson-beware-satani…

RWW News: Robertson: Rock Music Can Summon Demons

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-robertson-beware-satanic-rock-music-summons-demons

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Hot News From South Carolina, USA

ALERT! ALERT! 'NEWS' Flash!!
'Incredible 'News' coming to you from our Indefatigable 'News' Station BBSN (BuddyBlacksSatiricalNews)

As you may have heard, South Carolina State Rep. Mike Pitts (R) has introduced a Bill in that State that would require any News Reporters working in that State to Register with the State before they would be allowed to file news reports. There would also be certain Fines or other punishment if the 'law' was violated.
Well, wouldn't you know it, our everready, chaffing at the bit, eagerbeaver 'reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) has tracked Mr.Pitts (MP) the Lawmaker down, corralled him, and has managed to pick Mr.Pitts' infinitesimal brain to get to the bottom of this incredible act of idiocy. Now lets all be real quiet, and gather 'round while we listen in on this 'interview'.


BB: First, I would like to thank you for agreeing to this 'interview'. You Do realize that I'm a 'Reporter' don't you?
MP: What!? I thought you were my Tailer!
BB: Yes. well, of course, I guess I Am here to 'size' you up in a fashion. You don't mind if I ask you a few questions while we're at it do you?
MP: Whatever! Make it quick though, my pants are too tight, and I've got some hot laws cooking on my 'stove'.
BB: In 2010, you introduced a Bill that would require South Carolina to stop recognizing U.S.Currency as Legal Tender, and require the state to use Gold and Silver coins as currency instead. What Were you 'thinking'?
MP: Well, I don't recognize this U.S Currency! South Carolina needs its Own legal Tender.
BB: Hmmm...have you Ever walked around with Twenty Dollars worth of Silver Dollar Coins in your Pocket, and what would you do with all the U.S. Currency that you have in your savings, checking, and retirement accounts if your state has its Own Currency?
MP: Stupid question, I would convert it over to my States Currency then.
BB: Annnnd Yet, you don't 'recognize' U.S. Currency, but you Value it Enough to cash it in for South Carolina's Currency? Why Wouldn't you simply throw it all in a big pile and just Burn all that worthless Legal Tender that you don't recognize instead?
MP: Well, my Bill didn't pass muster but I'll try again when they're not looking.
BB: Do you 'think' that the Civil War is still being fought?
MP: Well, in a 'way', yes. They already attacked my southern heritage Rebel Flag!
BB: Yes, I remember That, and shortly before that you had fought to keep that flag flying on the State Capital Building when everyone Else in your state wanted it taken down. Did losing that fight bother you?
MP: About like having a foot chopped off would!
BB: Are you a big defender of the U.S.Constitution?
MP: If you're talking about the Constitution of South Carolina, you Bet I AM!
BB: Actually I mean the United States of America's Constitution. Do you believe in the 'freedom of the Press'?
MP: Depends on what your definition of 'freedom' is.
BB: Well, I, not unlike 300 Million other Americans, just sorta recognize The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition for That one. Do you have a 'special' definition for it of your own?
MP: (pulling on his earlobe..rubbing hands together..no verbal response).
BB: You proposed , 'A bill to amend the code of laws of South Carolina, 1976, by adding chapter 85 to title 40 to enact the “South Carolina Responsible Journalism Registry Law” so as to establish requirements for persons before working as a journalist for a media outlet and for media outlets before hiring a journalist; to require the establishment and operation of a responsible journalism registry by the South Carolina Secretary of State’s office; to authorize registry fees; to establish fines and criminal penalties for violation of the chapter; and for other purposes'. Ahhh...You were doing That just to be 'funny,right?
MP: Nope, I mean Every single word of it! We gotta get a handle on these rogue 'reporters' that run around reporting stupid stuff about our states governmental officials. Those rascals are alway prying into our business, trying to make us look bad.
BB: Do you Really believe that it takes a Reporter to Make you look bad?
MP: Look, they all tell lies, and sneak around hiding stuff, they bribe people to tell them secrets that are nobody's business, they are always breaking laws and not getting caught at it, and when they Do get caught they plead the 5th Amendment to keep out of jail! They are all a bunch of worthless Criminals with tape recorders!
BB: Well, in That case, it looks like they have All the qualifications to be a Politician. What are you 'afraid' of? Do you suffer from 'Reporphobia'?
MP: What??
BB: You have also proposed a bill where any Journalist working in the State of South Carolina would have to 'Register with the State' before they could work as a reporter in that state, And They would have to under go background checks Are you modeling your Bill after such 'laws' in some Other Countries, such as North Korea, Russia, Cuba, a bunch of those Arab countries, and...well, I think you get my point there?
MP: Absolutely Not! I thought these Bills up by myself! I have my Own brain, I don't need help from Anyplace!
BB: But wouldn't a 'Law' like this be Unconstitutional? I mean, after all, this Is America, Land of the 'free' where 'Freedom of The Press' just happens to be one of Our Rights. Wouldn't this be like the 'Government' controlling the Press, Who can Be a Journalist, and what they are allowed to 'report'?
MP: I just want to make sure that these rogue 'reporters' don't have criminal backgrounds and can be trusted to just report the 'truth'.
BB: Then would you also control the Newspapers that Print the 'news' that you have already edited, or more likely redacted?
MP: It's the Only way to make them report the 'truth'.
BB: Have you thought about just having your state seceed from the Union, and become your Own little fiefdom, you know, your Own County with You as it's dictator?
MP: Hey, what do you think I am!?
BB: Hmmm...I think we have already established That one.
MP: Are you a mind reader or something? Are you gonna fix my Pants or What?
BB:  :/ :/ :/
And so ends Another sojourn into the dark recesses of the unknown, the dark abyss of the 'mind' of the mindless, where Nothing is a surprise, and yet where 'surprises' are expected, and not a Little sleep inducing. Join us in the future when our intrepid 'reporter' will no doubt again travel down uncharted paths that leads to who knows Where. ;)
  

South Carolina Republican Who Defended Confederate Flag Proposes Mandatory Criminal Background Checks for Journalists

J.K. Trotter

Yesterday 3:58pm

Filed to: journalismism
 

• mike pitts
• free speech
• 1st amendment
• south carolina
• responsible journalism registry

 

 

 

 

 

You may remember State Rep. Mike Pitts of South Carolina from his defeated efforts to keep the Confederate flag flying at the South Carolina State House last year. The intense media scrutiny of those efforts seem to have inspired a fairly cowardly response: According to the text of a bill he verbally introduced at the State House in Columbia today, Pitts wants to establish a government-run “responsible journalism registry” to screen, approve, and credential reporters and journalists in the Palmetto State—or else. The text of the bill’s summary reads (bolding ours):

A bill to amend the code of laws of South Carolina, 1976, by adding chapter 85 to title 40 to enact the “South Carolina Responsible Journalism Registry Law” so as to establish requirements for persons before working as a journalist for a media outlet and for media outlets before hiring a journalist; to require the establishment and operation of a responsible journalism registry by the South Carolina Secretary of State’s office; to authorize registry fees; to establish fines and criminal penalties for violation of the chapter; and for other purposes.

The actual text of the bill, which was published on Tuesday evening, goes on to propose mandatory criminal background checks for working journalists, and details the sorts of infractions that would cause a journalist’s license to practice in South Carolina to be revoked:

(A) A person is not competent to be a journalist if:
(1) within the three years before submitting an application for registration, the person has been determined by a court of law to have committed:
(a) libel, slander, or invasion of privacy; or
(b) a felony if the underlying offense was committed to collect, write, or distribute news or other current information for a media outlet; or
(2) as a journalist, the person has demonstrated a reckless disregard of the basic codes and canons of professional journalism associations, including a disregard of truth, accuracy, objectivity, impartiality, fairness, and public accountability, as applicable to the acquisition of newsworthy information and its subsequent dissemination to the public.

And here are Pitts’ proposed financial and criminal penalties:

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(A) A person who works as a journalist without registering pursuant to Section 40-85-30(B):
(1) for a first offense, must be fined not more than twenty-five dollars;
(2) for a second offense, is guilty of a misdemeanor and must be fined not more than one hundred dollars or imprisoned not more than fifteen days, or both; and
(3) for a third or subsequent offense, is guilty of a misdemeanor and must be fined not more than five hundred dollars or imprisoned not more than thirty days, or both.

The proposed legislation is almost certainly unconstitutional. Any government plan to levy “fines and criminal penalties” against reporters or journalists whose work does not meet the government’s standard of “responsible journalism” would almost certainly be overturned on First Amendment grounds. The Supreme Court has repeatedly invalidated government attempts to limit and/or sanction speech, under the principle that “prior restraint” on any form of expression can only be sought after every other legal remedy has been exhausted. In a unanimous decision published in 1976, the Court argued that “prior restraints on speech and publication are the most serious and the least tolerable infringement on First Amendment rights.”
Pitts’ proposed legislation is doubly alarming considering that, in other circumstances, he has invoked the U.S. Constitution to defend other proposals. In 2010, for example, he attempted to revert South Carolina to the gold standard, based upon his interpretation of the Constitution’s commerce clause. He has also tried to expand access to firearms on Second Amendment grounds. After introducing a bill that would let state residents obtain a hidden-carry permit without taking a gun safety course, he told one reporter, “My proposal would free a law-abiding South Carolinian from the requirement of having to take a course to exercise his Second Amendment rights to carry a concealed weapon on his person.”

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Pitts did not respond to repeated requests for comment sent on Tuesday afternoon. We’ll update this post if we hear back.

What Is Going On Out There?

'Look folks, something's 'going on' out 'there', and I don't know what the hell it is. What's going On People!? Will Someone Please tell me what it Is!? Good Lord, I've got ten thousand people working for me, would just One of you Please tell me what the hell it Is? Just One of you! Is it just Me, or did I hire a bunch of Idiots? People are Up to Something out there. I thought I Knew what it was, but then the closer I got to it the more vague it became! It Was sorta '...clear' but Now it's fuzzy as a fog bank. Is it Me, or is this 'thing' just too dense for me to understand? I know a lot of 'things', as you all well know, and I probably know more than the average person, but I don't know This one. Don't get me 'wrong' here, I'm Not your 'average' person, I'm Waaaay Above 'average', way above! And you all Know that I'm not even Near being one of those boring 'conspiracy mongers', but you know what, This one has me wondering, Wondering I tell you! What the hell Is it? I don't know, I just don't Know. I just don't have a Clue, maybe I never will! I wish I did though. This is gonna make my toupe' curl! I'm really confused, and I just don't Know what it is that's confusing me. I mean, do I Look confused or What? I'm being confused by something that I don't even know what it is! Arrrrgh! This is torture! Torture! I wish I could Frown deeper! That might help. Ok, ok, I'm waiting for your call, WhoEver you Are, as long as you can tell me What the hell is goig on out there! Call me at 555-555-1234. I'm waiting.....still here...still waiting..call me....'  ;) ;)


Donald Trump Demands To Know 'What Is Going On?'

Can someone please tell Donald Trump what's happening? He seems very confused.

01/18/2016 12:49 pm ET

• Oliver NobleVideo Producer, The Huffington Post

Unlike elitist President Barack Obama -- who “refuses to use the term even of ‘what’s going on?’” -- Donald Trump is not afraid to admit that when it comes to a broad range of geopolitical issues, from immigration to ISIS, he does NOT know what is going on. But he’d really like someone to help him figure it out!
Watch the above supercut of Trump's brash obliviousness, and if you feel equipped to explain “what is going on,” please get in touch with The Donald immediately. He seems very scared and confused.

Pat Robertson, As Usual

'Good Morning fellow think alike 'relgious' fanatical brethern. Praise the good Lord for multi media because I'm pretty sure I would be relegated to the age of dinos, which are only six thousand years old by the way. Of course you already know that. Now I realize, sometimes in fleeting moments, that I myself am About That old, and, some say I'm starting to resemble an old chimpanzee, and starti...ng to 'think' like one, but praise the Lord, some people still 'pass the plate' which keeps me on the air coming to you in these trying times in order to still your quivering hearts. Some thoughtless people have even accused me of being Homophobic. Imagine That! Now, like myself, You've probably seen, and Even been needlesly accosted by homosexuals while out in a Public Parks restroom minding your own business, or while just sTrolling in the woods minding your own business deep in your own private thoughts, or maybe you've been secluded in your own closet, and the devil tosses in evil 'thought's', maybe you have in your own home, like the mother of this 17 year old, a queer that claims to be your offspring. I'll tell you right now that you must cut this child off from her devil worshipping 'friends', you must admonish her 24/7, don't let her listen to the devils music, turn that TV off and bring her to church where the good Lord will smite the devil queer right out of her. We good Christians know exactly how to drive the queer right out of a homo's soul! We have No queers at my church! At Every service I just outright ask for a show of hands of those who profess to be queer! And I'm proud to say that there's Never a hand held high! Praise the Lord! The proofs in the puddin'! Now if you have a child that's hanging around queers you can be pretty sure that before long that child will become one. The way to 'deal' with that child is quite simple. Put a lock on their bedroom door, don't let them leave the house, take their phone away from them, cut off the TV and radio. If they get married, boycot the wedding. Don't envite them over during holidays and Birthdays. Take them out of your Will. Put a sign in your yard that your child has turned Homo. Ignore them completly and pretty soon they will come back begging for forgiveness. Then just bring them to Me and I will exorcise the devil right out of them, and before you know it your child will be 'straight' as I, myself 'profess' to be. So, lets get busy out there parents, lets stop this sickness in it's sorry tracks and caste out the devil, remember, the Good Lord hates homos, and loves those who caste them out. Praise the Lord, and pass the plate!  :/ :/

Pat Robertson's Advice For A Lesbian Teen's Mom Has Us Shaking Our Heads

New year, same old Pat.

01/08/2016 03:03 pm ET

• Curtis M. WongGay Voices Senior Editor, The Huffington Post

This is some of the most un-sage parenting advice we've ever heard.
On Thursday's installment of "The 700 Club," Pat Robertson told the mother of a 17-year-old who identifies as a lesbian to love her daughter, but to make sure she knows she doesn't "accept the lifestyle," Right Wing Watch reports.
"Many young people... don't really know what they're talking about, because they're too young to know," the conservative televangelist said. "Young girls have crushes, and they have crushes on their teachers and they have crushes on other girls as well as boys. That’s one of those things that happens, but that’ll get differentiated as she gets older."
Still, he warned the mother not to let her daughter get "wrapped up in that lifestyle" because "she may never get out of it."
Robertson's statement isn't particularly surprising given his penchant for offering parents narrow-minded advice with regard to their gay and lesbian kids. In 2015, he advised two parents to skip their child's same-sex wedding, and told another mother to treat her son, who had just come out as gay, the same way she'd treat a drug addict.
In November, he applauded a grandfather for barring his gay grandson from bringing a boyfriend to Thanksgiving dinner, oddly likening the request to inviting a stripper to a holiday celebration.
Guess a new year won't stop Robertson from spewing the same tired, homophobic rhetoric we've come to expect from him.