'Trump' Card

Trump Card

Once upon a time not too long ago, in the land of 'Are We There Yet', there lived a strange little man, known here after as 'DT',who's name will go unmentioned, but whose initials are 'Donald Trump'. Now, little DT was born with a silver spoon in his yappy mouth, and with the help of his father, and through wile and gile he rose up through the ranks of the rich and famous until he floated right to the top of the 'pile' where he was now able to conduct himself just any ol' way he pleased. One day, someone told him that he needed more attention from the public at large, and suggested that if he did something 'crazy,' like become a TV celebrety he would then be known and loved far and wide. Ever in the need of attention he jumped on that bandwagon and charged ahead. His 'hair stylist' recommended the latest in hair fashion which he called the 'FlipDoo', and that style caught on like wildfire and became the rage. Mothers would bring their fresh born and lay them at DT's feet so that his charisma and good looks would somehow be bestowed upon their babes. And so it was that DT became famous, and world renowned with TV shows like the Miss USA pagent, Miss Universe, The Apprentice, and even, The Celebrity Apprentice, and he became 'famous' for blurtting out 'You're Fired'. DT amassed many notable BFF's along the way, some of which he elevated to Hero status such as that basketball bouncer guy Dennis Rodman, who by the way is also BFF's with the Dictator of that wonderfully touristy country of North Korea. Now after DT's twenty minutes of fame, or Infamy, with his glamorous made for TV 'reality' shows, somehow he had the idea that he could get even More attention if he just happens to be the President of the USA. 'Me, Me, Me,' he said to no one in particular. 'I've got more money than Jesus, and If I have to spend every copper cent of it I'll buy my way into the White House come hell or high water', he said to anyone still foolish enough to still be around at the time. And so he started spending that money! Some are pretty sure that he had a lot less than he bragged about, but a lot more than anyone else had as well. This might count towards his common sense, or lack of same, as well. Now, not being a 'politician', yet, DT had no clue that the enemies he makes Now, will still be there if he's Ever, heavens forbid, elected. Yes, he was without a doubt...wellll maybe a 'Few' doubts, a great business man, and money maker extraodinar. But along the way to fame and fortune little DT lost, or more likely never Knew, the art of 'Peopleship', and he most often let his lips spew awkward spells on those around him. His motto was, 'If my brain Thinks it, my lips will Say it'. And so it was that little DT threw his bonnet into the 'Ring of Death' and started his bid for the White House. Yet, having lived in a fantasy world all of his life, he had no clue as to how the 'regular' folks lived or thought, or how the rest of the World functioned. But he made up for this deficit by maximum bluster, unheralded pontification, backpeddeling, masterful avoidance, round-about run-arounds, steering clear of important issues, and BS that would make a barn full of Bulls smell like a rose garden. But 'run' he did, mostly from issues of current National and World affairs. Pestered he was by reporters and politicians alike, all trying to get a qualified, and quantified answer about this or that from little DT, but all failed miserably to hear Anything of substance from his fluttering lips. They all staggered away, heads hung low, legs wobbly, tears falling like autumn leaves, wringing their hands and wondering WTF had they just witnessed. Little DT knew little of world affairs or what the Real needs of his potential voters were, but he knew that if he spewed the words they all wanted to hear he would get their vote. He even, through clinched teeth, claimed that he 'loves women'. And so he promised extraordinary 'things', even things he Knew would be Impossible to make happen, and on he ran. People Knew that he possessed magic after they heard him say things like ' Why, I'll do things that'll make your heads spin', 'You won't believe the things I can do'. Being able to do Those sorts of things surely meant that he was magical and could do otherworldly things. And so millions of disenchanted voters who's lives were void of magic, flocked to be near their new Messiah, and they clapped their hands, and moved their lips in approval of his empty words, his bombastic rhetoric, Never had they stood in such awe of another being who Said what they all 'thought', how could he Read their 'minds' so, they wondered. But, 'wondering' was as Far as they 'wondered', because little DT was fast of lips, and quicker than a dragonfly he flitted from one grandiose Nation Saving promise to the next. 'Substance' was Not in the empty calorie diet he would feed his 'captives'. And so it was etched in the annals of time that little DT wooed and wow'd as he skipped about his fiefdom, and even those who did not love him 'thought' they did, and those that Did sometimes wondered 'Why' they did, but none 'wondered' quite enough to see the folly of it all. And Then, after all was said and done, and there was nothing else to say, and do, the dreams of 'some' came true, and the nightmares of others became real, as little DT became President of the USA. Across the land far, and wide, could be heard happy voices, and gnashing of teeth, wringing of sweaty hands, shuffling of feet, shouts of WTF just happened? The religious 'Left' stomped their feet and slapped one another with their bibles in approval, the 'Right' flogged themselves in disbelief, the homophobic came out of their closets and cheered heartidly, the 'illegals' clogged the border crossings, the 'Birthers'...well, they did what all good 'birthers' do, they simply doubted. The Earth continued to revolve around the Sun, but in a sorta..strange and discombobulated woobly fashion. Such was 'life' on Earth after the great 'awakening'. The moral of this story is thus; Be careful what you 'wish' for, because you just 'might' get it.  ;) ;)