Chris Christie wants to track immigrants like FedEx packages
Photo by Mel Evans, AP
“I’m going to ask Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, to come work for the government for three months,” the Republican presidential candidate said during a campaign stop in New Hampshire Saturday. “Just come for three months to Immigration and Customs Enforcement and show these people.”
Christie noted that when he sends packages to his daughter in college, FedEx tracks it in real time and shows it online.
“It’s on the truck, it’s at the station, it’s on the airplane, it’s back at another station, it’s back on the truck, it’s at her doorstep, she just signed for it,” he said. “Yet we let people come to this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them.”
He said that 40% of immigrants living illegally in the United States overstayed their visas, rather than coming across the border illegally.
“We need to have a system that tracks you from the moment you come in,” Christie said. “And then when your time is up … however long your visa is, then we go get you and tap you on the shoulder and say ‘Excuse me, thanks for coming, time to go.’”
FedEx tracks packages using computer bar codes that are scanned at various stages in the delivery process.
Christie did not elaborate on how the federal government might implement a tracking system. His campaign could not be reached for comment.
His remarks come as Donald Trump’s tough talk on immigration has helped rocket him to front-runner status in the polls. The New York real estate mogul has overshadowed many in the field, occupying the tell-it-like-it-is lane that Christie had hoped to run in and the “unintimidated” tough-fighter one that Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker had hoped to occupy.
'Look, I may be taking outta my bu##, and beleive me, I got a Lot of butt to talk out of! But let me explain, and sOOn you'll see the 'wisdom' of my ways. You know, and I know, and the whole stinkin' world knows that right now there's just Noooo Way to keep track of the millions and millions of peeps that cross our borders. They come across, and they disappear. Poof! Just like That! Personally, I think most of'em live in New Jersey. Even when they promise to call, they Never Do! What's With that?? Yeah, I know, Trump doesn't have a problem keeping track of His domestic workers, so why can't We keep track of the rest of'em? Now, I've only had a few minutes to 'Think' about this, but I'll just give it a shot off the cuff, so don't go 'n write down a bunch of stuff that's gonna come back and bite me in my arse, which would take a whole lot of bitin'! Ok, let' see now.. how we gonna do it....Hmmm..ahhh..yeah, got somethin' here...I've got a Bff down at Fedx who's always bragging 'bout how they Never loose a package. Ha! Wanna buy a bridge? Now how do ya think they Do that? Really, I don't know either, have Nooo clue, but I see something there. How about if we set up fedx offices' at all our Borders, then when some doggone 'alien' want to cross the Border, they gotta come through there. We ask'em 'Where ya going', then stuff'em in a shipping box, stick a label on it, and Off they Go! When they get to where ever they are going, we make someone, preferably an Adult, sign for them. If no one can 'sign' for them, we send them back to 'Country of Origin'. Now let's imagine that someone actually 'signs' for the...Oooo... let's call it 'People Package', so now at least we know where that peep is for right now. But get This, whenever that peep wants to go someplace else, they gotta hop in a Fedx box and get picked up and shipped to their new destination! How about That! I'll make Fedx a Government Agency, how could it go wrong? Look how well all our Other agencies work. Well, that's about as far as I've 'thought' about this 'can't find the aliens' thing, hey at first I thought you were talking about those guys from outter space, but if you elect Me as your new President, I'll fix this problem just like I did with that silly clogged bridge problem a while back. Yep, vote for Me, Not those other idiots who have No plans, and for Sure no clues, at all!' ;) ;)
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