' Welll....we didn't 'want' to brag about how clever we crime fighters are, but now that you have us cornered, so to speak, I will tell you the whole story, as I 'know' it.  You see, it's like This;  As you All know, the Thai Police have Allways had a sterling 'reputation' of complete 'honesty', and our 'ethics' are right up there with...ahhh..Ummm...I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'...well Anyway, I just D-double dare Anyone to question our 'honesty', and our shining 'ethics'!  Please raise your hand if you Still doubt my honest words...no, I didn't think so.  Ok, so here we are with this horrible terrorist bombing.  Now, don't think we're taking unfair advantage of a serious situation, because even though it 'looks' like it, we're not...no, Really.  Please dare to raise your hand if you 'think' otherwise... Now as you know, most folks clam right up when we ask questions, just about as fast as when we tell Them, to Not ask questions..  So, to loosen their locked lips I, errr..We, that is, decided that we'd just throw some 'loose-lip' out there and see what comes up.  A couple of my secret Bff's threw a few bucks in the pot and pretty sOOn, Holy Cows!, there's more $$$ in the pot than I see in a week otherwise.  Then I got to thinkin'... well, if those stupido know-nothing civilians want to be That way, That's just toooo bad for Them!   And Then, miracle of miracles, through extraordinary, above board police investigations, and of course without Any illegal torture techniques At All, our wonderful, and ethical police dug up a 'volunteer', I mean a Suspect to pin this case on.  Yeahhhh, yeah...I know, I know...there's absolutly Nothing that we know of, at the moment, that ties him to this case, annnnd it's not likely to happen anyway.  But we have our willey ways...before you know it he'll be confessing to providing the nails for Jesus!  Already, he has confessed to 98 murders, 151 rapes, 2 burglaries, 1 stolen bicycle, and 3 J-walkings!   Annnd he's Still Talking!  The FBI has already called and asked us to question him about JFK!   How about That!?  I'm pretty sure we can solve That one too.  So you see, we're 'pretty sure' we have the right guy here.  As for the 'reward'...wellll......there's absolutly No record of Any Civilion giving us Any information that lead us to this dispicable person that we cleverly have in custody.  And until there's a 'Video' showing Otherwise, That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it!    It was due to our Police doing hard work, without using Any kind of force or illegal torture methods taught to us by the CIA, that we were able to find a scapegoat, this is just a term of 'endearment' that we use when talking about criminal 'suspects' here in our glorious, and peaceful country, and bring him to justice.  He will probably be shot tomorrow!  We beleive in shooting first, and asking questions later.  He would probably lie to us anyway, so why waste time with him when we can always get another 'suspect'.  So Now that the case has practically been solved by our virtuous Policemen, it is time to give this megabucks reward to them for such a gOOd job.  It will also motivate our police to get out there and drag some more 'suspects' in and solve all kinds of 'crimes'.  We don't actually pay them a 'salary' around here, it's more like a 'quota' system, orrr....a 'bounty' system.  At our Police Academy, the recruits are required to watch All of the 'God Father' movies.  They learn a Lot of 'techniques' with That one!   You know, I'd love to retire...but I don't want to get on their 'radar', if you Know what I Mean, That's how gOOd they are!   So they will just love me to pieces when I give them..oh...say..50 bucks each, which is about ten times what they make legitimately in a month anyway, and they will just fall over backwards for me when I snap my greedy little fingers.  The 'rest' of the money will be 'donated' to a very worthy cause, and you will be wise to Not ask questions about it..if you know what I Mean, no sense turning up as a 'suspect' in some silly 'criminal case', eh?'    :/  :/

Thai police award themselves $84K for arrest of bomb suspect


Associated Press
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BANGKOK (AP) — With much fanfare, Thai police had offered an $84,000 reward for tips leading to arrests in the Bangkok bombing. On Monday, they handed out the cash — to themselves.

They arrested a suspect Saturday, though the man has not been charged, let alone convicted. He may not even be the prime suspect in the Aug. 17 bombing at Bangkok's Erawan Shrine, which killed 20 people and injured more than 120.
That was enough for national police chief Somyot Poompanmoung: He said he was taking the unusual step of redirecting 3 million baht reward to highlight that Thailand's police are good at their jobs.
Somyot made the announcement at a news conference Monday, saying he had "good news."
"Give me the bag," he said, turning to an aide who rushed over with stacks of cash that Somyot placed on the podium before him.
"This is real money," the police chief said with a smile. He went on to say that Saturday's arrest was thanks to "good police work" and had not come from any outside tips.
"It is the ability of Thai officials that led to the arrest," he said. "This money should be given to officials who did their job."
The decision quickly added to criticism on social media over police handling of the bombing investigation. Many Thais have expressed doubt that the bombing will be solved, citing a reputation Thai police have for corruption and forcing confessions.
Within days of the blast, Somyot said he was offering a 1 million baht ($28,000) reward to help find the perpetrators. The sum quickly tripled after he said two of his friends who wished to remain nameless had chipped in 2 million baht ($56,000) more.
Police made a potential breakthrough Saturday when they arrested a man in the outskirts of Bangkok and found bomb-making material including detonators, ball bearings and a metal pipe at his apartment.
But many questions remain. Police say they are certain the man was part of a network that planned the attack but they have not revealed his name, nationality, motive or his suspected relationship to the bombing network.
Police have responded equivocally when asked whether the man is the main bombing suspect, who was seen on security video leaving a backpack at the shrine shortly before the explosion. "He is a man in the network," Somyot said.
Somyot said the man is in military custody for initial interrogation and will later be turned over to police to be charged. The military has controlled Thailand since a May 2014 coup.
Police said they found more bomb-making materials Sunday in a raid on another apartment in a nearby neighborhood, and on Monday released images of two more suspects: a photo of a Thai woman identified as 26-year-old Wanna Suansun and a sketch of a foreign man of unknown nationality.
Somyot said he also hoped that turning the reward over to police would help motivate them and show "that higher ranking officers actually give them money." Police in Thailand are notoriously underpaid and it is common knowledge that low-ranking officers collect bribes to pay-up to senior officers.
It was not immediately clear how the reward money would be distributed to police officers.


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