'Holy wow! Did you see that!? Did you??? There I was, sitting in my special foiled lined closet whacking away on my little 'twitter' with my regal thumb caressing the, "attack Iran' missile button, when all of a sudden I remember reading something about the fact that missiles and bombs can actually make a lot of people, really 'dead'. What!!? I said to no one in particular, is 'that' what happens when you bomb the hell out of things? People die? You know, like maybe 150 or so? Oh sure, here in America our fellow American's kill the hell out of thousands and thousands and thousands of their fellow American's with loaded firearms in their sweaty little murderous hands every year, but we're not talking about 'firearms' here are we, we're talking about a few 'bombs' that might kill like, 150 people or so. Ooooo, can't take that chance folks! Just can't! Is there anything worse than an out of control 'bomb? And then I thought to my self, hey self, perfect chance to grab a few headlines and votes from my minions. I mean, hey, I wasn't gonna push that silly 'missile button' anyhow, but what if I make it 'look like' I was really going to? Everyone in Iran probably pooped their panties, but now will look at me as their benevolent savior, and will vote to become a US State, and then vote for me to be their 'Supreme Leader'. It's a win-win for me!
Everyone well knows that everything I do is simply a diversion, and distraction anyway, you know, like this Iran crisis thing, but Now if I pretend that I'm really 'concerned' about a few dead Iranian people caused by a few deadly American bombs made in China, I'll appear to be the hero that stopped my own initiated 'war', and 'saved' a few lives in the process.
And so I took my little benevolent thumb off the Iran doomsday button. Just like that, with only moments to spare, I singlehandedly saved the whole world from it's pitiful self. But, that's just Me, me, me, myself, and I, doing what we do best to make the whole world "great again".
Oh how I love being able to hold the whole world in the palm of my tiny little hands, playing god, actually I have more power than he does anyway, threatening and treating everyone like crap, holding everyone hostage knowing that sooner or later the 'Stockholm Syndrome' will kick in, being above the law of the land, making my own 'rules', doing as I please as America's supreme un-touchable! And one day, not any time soon by the way, when I tire of abusing the whole world, my entitled off-spring, maybe a son, maybe a daughter, we'll see, we'll see, will take my honorable place at the throne of goodness, to continue my legacy of saving the world from it's simple self, but hey, enough about 'me', how about my 'numbers'?'
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Everyone well knows that everything I do is simply a diversion, and distraction anyway, you know, like this Iran crisis thing, but Now if I pretend that I'm really 'concerned' about a few dead Iranian people caused by a few deadly American bombs made in China, I'll appear to be the hero that stopped my own initiated 'war', and 'saved' a few lives in the process.
And so I took my little benevolent thumb off the Iran doomsday button. Just like that, with only moments to spare, I singlehandedly saved the whole world from it's pitiful self. But, that's just Me, me, me, myself, and I, doing what we do best to make the whole world "great again".
Oh how I love being able to hold the whole world in the palm of my tiny little hands, playing god, actually I have more power than he does anyway, threatening and treating everyone like crap, holding everyone hostage knowing that sooner or later the 'Stockholm Syndrome' will kick in, being above the law of the land, making my own 'rules', doing as I please as America's supreme un-touchable! And one day, not any time soon by the way, when I tire of abusing the whole world, my entitled off-spring, maybe a son, maybe a daughter, we'll see, we'll see, will take my honorable place at the throne of goodness, to continue my legacy of saving the world from it's simple self, but hey, enough about 'me', how about my 'numbers'?'
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