'Hal-lah-Lou-Ya! Praise the lord and pass the collection plate! Will miracles never end! God has sent me here to personally save the whole world, and to "make America great again", and to lend credence to your organization which has been listed as a 'hate' group! And you 'know' what that means folks! Right? I'm cleaning up this sorry country that Obama ran into the gutters! Disgusting! Terrible! And how about his 'pal', that Clinton woman! Terrible woman! What a Liar! Every word from her mouth was a big fat lie! Huge! Bigly! I am absolutly obsessed with that woman! Her and her sorry 'pal' Obama! Hate'em! I promise I will undo every single thing that either one of them put their disgusting names on. Everything! Have I mentioned my huge 'numbers'? Incredible! Every American voted for me! Un-believable!
Well, anyway, thanks for inviting me as your most special, and not a little, godly, honored guest. I just love 'religious' people, Great folks. Wonderful. And not just because you are 'easy', and will vote for anyone who can even spell the word 'jesus'. There's other reasons which I will reveal at a much later meeting. No need to turn your brains to mush all at once here. Hey! Raise your hand if you've been to heaven! Oh, well, how about to WalMart? You know, I really appreciate you folks having this little gathering just to honor me, who as I have mentioned already, was sent here by 'god' to save America from its evil, disgusting self. I can only image how humbled you must feel in my godly presence. Praise you. Bigly. How about a raise of hands of you who identify with homosexuals..well, I think you know who you are. We'll all close our eyes for a moment while you quietly slip out the side door where you'll be met with out special 'stoning' club. How about a big shout-out for my wonderful 'Alt-Right' fans! Speaking of the 'Alt-Right', I brought a bunch of my Cabinet members with me today. How about a big round of 'clap, clap, clap' for the people responsible for helping me de-construct America, and turning it into a 'Faith Based' Government! Remember, if you haven't converted to my new 'religion', Republicanism, just come foreward and kiss my as...err..feet, that is, and leave a 'Fatih Based' offering, cash only please, in the waist-band of my skivies, and you will recieve in the mail your personalized identification card showing that you are an official 'Trum-Pet' butt kisser. And remember, promise your loyalty to Me, your newfound 'godly' leader, not to your tired, and overbearing government. Praise the lord brethern 'value' voters, and pass the friggin' 'plate'!'
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Well, anyway, thanks for inviting me as your most special, and not a little, godly, honored guest. I just love 'religious' people, Great folks. Wonderful. And not just because you are 'easy', and will vote for anyone who can even spell the word 'jesus'. There's other reasons which I will reveal at a much later meeting. No need to turn your brains to mush all at once here. Hey! Raise your hand if you've been to heaven! Oh, well, how about to WalMart? You know, I really appreciate you folks having this little gathering just to honor me, who as I have mentioned already, was sent here by 'god' to save America from its evil, disgusting self. I can only image how humbled you must feel in my godly presence. Praise you. Bigly. How about a raise of hands of you who identify with homosexuals..well, I think you know who you are. We'll all close our eyes for a moment while you quietly slip out the side door where you'll be met with out special 'stoning' club. How about a big shout-out for my wonderful 'Alt-Right' fans! Speaking of the 'Alt-Right', I brought a bunch of my Cabinet members with me today. How about a big round of 'clap, clap, clap' for the people responsible for helping me de-construct America, and turning it into a 'Faith Based' Government! Remember, if you haven't converted to my new 'religion', Republicanism, just come foreward and kiss my as...err..feet, that is, and leave a 'Fatih Based' offering, cash only please, in the waist-band of my skivies, and you will recieve in the mail your personalized identification card showing that you are an official 'Trum-Pet' butt kisser. And remember, promise your loyalty to Me, your newfound 'godly' leader, not to your tired, and overbearing government. Praise the lord brethern 'value' voters, and pass the friggin' 'plate'!'
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