Male Politicians Warn Exposed Boobs May Cause Society To Collapse
ALERT! ALERT! NEW HAMPSHIRE 'NEWS" ALERT!
This just in, as reported by our indifatigable News 'Reporter' BuddyBlack (BB) who strives to keep our readers 'abreast' of the lastest happenings across Amerca.
Bravely and without concern for his own safety, Buddy tracked down New Hampshires Rep. Brian Gallagher (BG) who along with fellow law maker Peter Spanos (PS), sponsored a bill that would make it totally against the Law for women in their state to show their Breasts, and those pesky Nipples, in public places. It appears though, that it is Still alright for Men to flash Their Own breasts and nipples without fear of breaking Any type of 'law'. Our fearless 'reporter' was able to fandangle an 'interview' with these two learned Law Makers, where he 'tried' to get some sort of 'reasoning' behind this surprising 'Breast Law'. Lets take a listen to this Tit for Tat exchange as Buddy Firmly has the Laws sponsor's standing fully Erect while trying to explain themselves:
BB: Gentlemen, what Is it about the Female breast that has you so excited?
BG: Well, there's more to this than meets the uneducated leering eye. I mean who would have thought that women would Even 'think' about baring their female sex organs with total "reckless disregard" in Public the way some of them are so blatantly doing! They're just 'asking' for trouble!
PS: So True Brian! So true!
BB: When you 'say' 'female sex organs', what exactly are you referring to?
BG: Well, their...you know, their Breasts....and their Nipples.
PS: Go Brian!
BB: Oh...Their Mammary Glands, I get it now. Could you explain to your public exactly how a Womans Breast is utilized as a 'sex organ'.
BG: I think we All 'know' the answer to That question, it just goes without 'saying'.
PS: Right On Brian! You tell'em, or...not!
BB: I guess we'll take that as your Official explanation, so lets move on here. When you say "reckless disregard", it brings images to mind of someone waving a Firearm, or a Knife, or something Actually Dangerous, around other people where someone might wind up wounded, or worse yet, dead. Just how does "reckless disregard" equate to a bare breasted woman?
BG: That's an easy one. Suppose there's Children nearby when a woman bares her breasts, say...at the Beach for instance. Those children could be tramatized Forever by that! Forever! Or an Elderly person wittness's that "reckless" act of nudity! In My book, That's 'Elderly Abuse'! We can't let this depraved sort of activity take place in our 'learned' state.
PS: So True Brian, right on!
BB: And what if a Woman wants to breastfeed her child while in a public place?
BG: Not in New Hampshire she won't! She can just go into a public restroom, there's plenty of 'nice' ones in our Parks, and feed her child in there. I'm even considering marketing a snappy thing I call 'The Feeding Burka', sorta like a big black tent, that a woman can carry with her when in public, then when she wants to 'feed' her child she simply puts my 'Feeding Burka' over herself, and have at it. I got That idea from watching the news from over there in Iran. Must be a Lot of 'breast feeders' over there because women Everywhere wear'em.
PS: Saw that Brian, lots of'em, so true!
BB: Peter, do you have Any original 'thoughts' about this of your Own?
PS: Brian...? Brian....?
BB: So, what do you 'fear' that might happen if women are allowed to bare their breasts in public?
BG: I think we All know what will happen, there's no doubt about it! Next thing you know, Librarians, the girls at your local Grocery Store check-out lanes, Lawyers and Judges in courtrooms, School Teachers, Cops, even those women down at the local XX rated bookstore, will All be flounting their breasts and nipples all over the place. No one will be Safe! These Nipples standing up all over the place will affect our Tourist Industry! Do you think for one minute that tourists will want to come to our state knowing they might be accosted by an erect nipple!? Society as we know it will just collapse down around our Ears! Banks will fail, the Clothing Industry will fold, government entities will crash, highways will go into disrepair, the Sky will fall, I'll be forced to get a Real job and actually have to 'work' for a living! The world as we know it will just come to a sagging halt. Under my new 'Law', women who flount their sexual organs in public will be charged with 'Indecent exposure'. They must learn a hard lesson! For some unexplainable 'reason' I 'think' there's nothing 'decent' about a womans breast. Some might say I have my own 'agenda' here, but millions of my constituants feel the very same as I do when it comes to this public nudity breast issue. It's hard for me to Express my disgust towards womens breasts. If I have My way, Breasts, and Nipples, will be Out-Lawed in New Hampshire! I'm even thinking about a law that would require a 'concealed breast' permit if a woman wanted to carry them around with her.
PS: Well said Brian!
BB: Will Men be subject to this same 'law'?
BG: Of Course not! That's ridiculas! Men have always gone 'bare chested', it's just what Men do. I's our 'right' to do so.
PS: Good job Brian!
BB: "Bare Chested"..is that the same as 'bare breasted'? Do you ever wonder why Men have 'breasts, complete with those pesky Nipples that bother you so much? And wouldn't it be true that, 'what's good for the goose, is good for the gander'?
BG: Well, No, you see, Women have 'Breasts', while Men simply have 'chests', it's not even nearly the same thing. And no, it has Never, Ever, even crossed my mind as to why men have 'nipples'. And No, we are not even talking about Geese here, we're talking about People. Besides, Geese don't even Have 'breasts'!
PS: Although...'Chickens', Do have 'breasts'...Right, Brian? Brian...?
BB: Gosh, thanks a lot for 'baring' your souls, and letting our readers dwelve into the inner workings of your 'law' making brains where 'something' tells you that womens Breasts will be the downfall of the human race, even after all these eons of actually Nourishing that very thing. ;) ;)
And so we end yet Another scuba dive through the neuron paths of the stuttering mis-firing brains of these two 'great leaders', and lawmakers of the State of New Hampshire, a whole State relying on these two foreward 'thinkers' to keep abreast of issues that could spell the doom of their 'evolving' state otherwise. Be sure to tune in next time when our brave 'reporter', BuddyBlack, finds yet Another 'wasp nest' to poke a stick at. :)
Male Politicians Warn Exposed Boobs May Cause Society To Collapse
Women in New Hampshire could soon face misdemeanor charges if they go topless at the beach.
AntonioGuillem via Getty Images
The end of civilized society?
New Hampshire state representatives are suggesting that society may collapse if lawmakers don't make it illegal for women to expose their breasts in public.
State Reps. Brian Gallagher and Peter Spanos, both Republicans, are co-sponsors of a bill that would slap women with a misdemeanor charges for showing their breasts and nipples with "reckless disregard" for those around them. At a public hearing on Monday, they warned that allowing women to go topless at beaches would quickly escalate, and they would soon be bare-chested at public libraries and Little League baseball games, The Associated Press reports.
"It's a shame that some folks are more concerned with exposing their breasts in public places than they are concerned about how families and children may be impacted by being forced to experience this evolving societal behavior," Gallagher told a legislative committee, according to the AP. "This is about a movement to change the values of New Hampshire society."
Their bill -- which has been contested for the past few months -- is a response to the popular "Free the Nipple" social media campaign, which supports women's freedom to bare their breasts in public.
The issue of public nudity came to the fore in the state last year, when two Free the Nipple activists received citations for going topless on a beach in the town of Gilford, New Hampshire. Their case was dismissed earlier this month by a judge who said the town lacked the authority to punish the women, since there's no anti-nudity law on the books in the state.
It is currently legal for both men and women to be topless in public in New Hampshire. The proposed law would hand out misdemeanor charges for "indecent exposure" or "lewdness" to women who expose their breasts or nipples in public.
Gallagher and Spanos both referenced the Gilford beach incident as something that concerned their constituents. Exposed nipples would also harm the state's tourism industry, they argued.
The proposed legislation has sparked criticism, probably not helped by comments from Republican state Rep. Josh Moore, who suggested in December that women who went partially nude in public should expect to be accosted.
"If it's a woman's natural inclination to pull her nipple out in public and you support that," Moore wrote in a Facebook post, "than you should have no problem with a mans inclantion [sic] to stare at it and grab it. After all... It's ALL relative and natural, right?"
After a public spat, the bill now includes an addendum granting an exemption to the law for women who are breastfeeding.
Opponents of the bill say the law would create disparities between men and women. One New Hampshire resident told the AP the proposed law would be regressive and would take away rights women in the state already had.
"We are not lunatics, we are not radical, we're not looking to go to football games topless or libraries or school meetings," Kari Stephens told the AP. "If there is a man in a public space who is obviously comfortable enough, then why should I not have that same right?"
If the law passes, it's expected to take effect at the beginning of next year.
State Reps. Brian Gallagher and Peter Spanos, both Republicans, are co-sponsors of a bill that would slap women with a misdemeanor charges for showing their breasts and nipples with "reckless disregard" for those around them. At a public hearing on Monday, they warned that allowing women to go topless at beaches would quickly escalate, and they would soon be bare-chested at public libraries and Little League baseball games, The Associated Press reports.
"It's a shame that some folks are more concerned with exposing their breasts in public places than they are concerned about how families and children may be impacted by being forced to experience this evolving societal behavior," Gallagher told a legislative committee, according to the AP. "This is about a movement to change the values of New Hampshire society."
Their bill -- which has been contested for the past few months -- is a response to the popular "Free the Nipple" social media campaign, which supports women's freedom to bare their breasts in public.
The issue of public nudity came to the fore in the state last year, when two Free the Nipple activists received citations for going topless on a beach in the town of Gilford, New Hampshire. Their case was dismissed earlier this month by a judge who said the town lacked the authority to punish the women, since there's no anti-nudity law on the books in the state.
It is currently legal for both men and women to be topless in public in New Hampshire. The proposed law would hand out misdemeanor charges for "indecent exposure" or "lewdness" to women who expose their breasts or nipples in public.
Gallagher and Spanos both referenced the Gilford beach incident as something that concerned their constituents. Exposed nipples would also harm the state's tourism industry, they argued.
The proposed legislation has sparked criticism, probably not helped by comments from Republican state Rep. Josh Moore, who suggested in December that women who went partially nude in public should expect to be accosted.
"If it's a woman's natural inclination to pull her nipple out in public and you support that," Moore wrote in a Facebook post, "than you should have no problem with a mans inclantion [sic] to stare at it and grab it. After all... It's ALL relative and natural, right?"
After a public spat, the bill now includes an addendum granting an exemption to the law for women who are breastfeeding.
Opponents of the bill say the law would create disparities between men and women. One New Hampshire resident told the AP the proposed law would be regressive and would take away rights women in the state already had.
"We are not lunatics, we are not radical, we're not looking to go to football games topless or libraries or school meetings," Kari Stephens told the AP. "If there is a man in a public space who is obviously comfortable enough, then why should I not have that same right?"
If the law passes, it's expected to take effect at the beginning of next year.
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