Hey, Put The Christmas Snowflakes Back In Starbucks Already!

  'Hey!  What's the Big 'Anti Christian' Idea here!?  Who's the Christmas killer that's responsible for ruining Christmas for zillions of God fearing Christians all across the World?  Ha!  Well, We Know the answer to That one, don't we now!  It's You Mr. Starbucks, it's You!  How Dare you!  Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed or something?  Has the Christmas Grinch sneaked up your arse, and now you're taking it out on Christians!  Oh, you Are a Meanie!  Don't you realize that we Americans are 'Holiday' driven, and 'commercialized' to the hilt?  I mean Come On already, if it weren't for us being able to 'commercialize' every doggone holiday till it's running out our ears, half of us would have absolutely No Clue how to celebrate one of'em in the first place!  Look at Easter for instance; who would'a Ever known that bunny rabbits poop out those pretty 'Easter Eggs'? No, Really!  Rabbits can do That, but they only do it at Easter time.  This gives Chickens a well deserved break, and besides They don't even know how to color'em like rabbits can.  And if it wasn't for 'commercialization' who would have even Known this interesting historical 'fact' in the first place?   And then there's...oh yeah, there's Columbus Day.  We did That one up to the point of 'Whaaat?'.  I mean really, the guy didn't even come Close to 'discovering' 'America', and just so we could squeeze in a snappy 'holiday' we praise him for something he didn't even Do, annnd we get a vacation day out of it to boot!  And I'm not even gonna Get into our 'Thanksgiving' holiday, there's just not enough Time to cover That one.  But you Know Mr.Starbucks, aka Christmas murderer, our best commercialized 'holiday' is, and Now you Know it, Christmas.  And for we Christians, we true believers, there's no Other holiday that gets us going like This one.  I mean, look Around you!  You can't help but be Impressed with how we have managed to commercialize it to the point of incomprehension, and what little 'Christian' there is left in it, you have managed to destroy for us.  Do you have Any Idea what 'snowflakes' on coffee cups Mean to us?  Well!?  We're waiting Mr.Starbucks!  That's right, you don't have the First Clue!  Here, I'll clue you in, 'snowflakes' are as Christian to Christians, as...ah...oh yeah, as the Turkey is to Thanksgiving.  Now just let That soak in for a second Mr. Humbug!  By leaving those religiously sacred Snowflakes off our coffee cups you have committed the ultimate Sin, annnd your coffee tastes like fox pee because of it.  Serves you right! You are obviously Anti-Christian which means you are Anti-Christmas, and it goes without Saying that you are no doubt Anti-American.  I bet you didn't Think about That when you woke up scratching your butt and decided to axe the 'Flakes', now Did you?  Ha! You just 'thought' you were going to "..embrace the simplicity and the quietness.." of the holiday season.  News alert!  Not!  Well, You are in Sooooo much trouble with heaven now because you single handedly have totally destroyed Everything that we Christians 'believe' in.  Jesus was looking to You to spread the good cheer with a good cup of Christmas Snowflakes, but you have failed the 'test' of time, Now it is You who must suffer waiting in the longest 'take-out' line Ever, you, you...you meanie You!  ;) ;)          

 

Some Christians Are Extremely Unhappy About Starbucks' New Holiday Cups

The absence of snowflakes on the cups "denies the hope of Jesus," one woman claims.

Hilary HansonNews editor, The Huffington Post

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Posted: 11/08/2015 12:10 PM EST | Edited: 11/08/2015 12:30 PM EST

Some people are angry about Starbucks’ new holiday cups. Really angry.

What is the issue, exactly?

In previous years, Starbucks’ iconic holiday cups, which the chain uses in lieu of white cups in November and December, featured wintry or Christmas-themed designs like snowflakes, ornaments and nature scenes. This year, the cups are more minimalist -- a red ombre design that Jeffrey Fields, Starbucks' vice president of design, said was meant to embrace “the simplicity and the quietness” of the holiday season.

Starbucks

 This is a huge problem for some people, who feel that the plain red cups are oppressing Christians by insulting Christmas.

“This is a denial of historical reality and the great Christian heritage behind the American Dream that has so benefitted Starbucks,” Andrea Williams of the U.K.-based organization Christian Concern told Breitbart. “This also denies the hope of Jesus Christ and His story so powerfully at this time of year.”

Others have shared similar thoughts on social media.

  

  

 To clarify, it's not like the previous cups were decked out in crosses and mangers. It’s unclear why a drawing of a winking snowman or a dog sledding, for instance, is more “Christian” than a plain red and green (you know, Christmas colors) cup.

But either way, angry Starbucks patrons have a solution. Former pastor Joshua Feuerstein claimed in a viral Facebook video that he had “pranked” Starbucks by simply telling them his name was “Merry Christmas” -- thus forcing the surely unimpressed barista to write the words “Merry Christmas” on the cup.

Feuerstein also noted that he brought a gun into the coffee shop, in spite of Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz' request that patrons leave their firearms at home. Ho ho, good one!

In the video, Feuerstein encouraged people to similarly claim that their names are "Merry Christmas" and to use the hashtag #MerryChristmasStarbucks. Social media users have been expressing their support for the “prank," but at least one person noted a minor issue with the protest:

By Sunday, the anti-Starbucks backlash was getting its own backlash, from those mocking the cup outrage.

Some have even theorized that the controversy is a viral marketing scheme originated by Starbucks itself.

But the vocal minority decrying the red cups does not represent all Christians. Rev. Emily Heath mocked the absurdity of the backlash in a blog piece for HuffPost, and noted that it demonstrated some seriously misplaced priorities:

We're kind of like the religious equivalent those Black Friday shoppers who trample other Black Friday shoppers in order to get a good deal on a flat screen TV. We are so incensed by any perceived omission of our personal faith from the public sphere that we go on a rampage. Except instead of other shoppers, we just trample things like inclusivity, diversity, tolerance, and pluralism instead.

Happy holidays, everyone.