Sunday, November 22, 2015

Pass The Spaghetti Please

   'Ohhhhh...I've been called a lot of things in my life, but this is the first time I've Ever been called a 'pothead'. And you know, that really Hurts my feelers. I bet it was some anti-religious, antichrist nutcake that labeled me with that name. There's a lot of crazy people out there, believe you Me! As for Me, well, I'm just a very religious member of the Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You've probably heard about our 'church, and our 'religion. We've been around for millions of years now and have congregations in every State and Country worldwide. We have many sects in Italy by the way. But, you probably already guessed that. We have been flying 'under the radar' until recently, just waiting for the right time to come out of the woodwork. Our 'leader' His HignASS Sceghetti Bender, has appointed Me, little ol' Me, to be the official spokesperson of our 'church. Our 'Sunday' is actually on Wednesday for us. The spaghetti gods proclaimed it so in the beginning of time and we still carry on, you know, just following orders. Our official 'hat' as you can see, is this spiffy spaghetti strainer. If you don't have one of these 'top hats' you better get down to your local strainer shop and stock up. To You, the uninitiated, it's just a strainer. But to Us, the believers, it's much more than That. First off, would you even have a Clue as to my 'religion' if I weren't wearing my 'hat'? Why, no you would not! Oh, We send and recieve our messages through our 'hat'. Most religions have some form of 'dress', and so this is Ours. This 'hat' works well in the summer as it lets the breeze flow through, and you know, I really like the whistling noise the wind makes. Now, it Does get hot as a blue blaze out in the Sun, so be careful with that. Also be careful in sub zero weather 'cause your fingers will stick to it! Bummer! When it rains, this baby filters it so that just the best part of the rain gets in. Whoaaaa, Do Not dare though to wear it in a lightening storm! Yikes! Talk about 'meeting your maker'! Radio and cell phone reception is enhanced when wearing this clever hat as well. Riding a bike? Just hang onto those well placed handles, and your brain is safe from even the hardest of tumbles. I should know, it has saved My own brain from Years of hard tumbles! Nothing wrong with my brain! No, really! Really...'.  :/
 
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)